“She offers the reassuring warmth of Oprah, the fire-and-brimstone of Jonathan Edwards; the inspiration of John F. Kennedy; the intimacy of an FDR fireside chat. It was exhausting and reassuring and scary and comforting and extremely weird.”
This is an actual excerpt from a soon to be released book about “the greatness,” “the beauty,” and the “rare authenticity” of Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY), entitled “Take Up Space: The Unprecedented AOC,” which comes to us from a group of New York Times Magazine scribes.
The book is a collection of fawning essays about the former bartender from New York who took Washington, D.C., by storm after defeating long-time Democratic Congressman Joe Crowley in a 2018 primary.
It begins by comparing this ditsy, empty-headed, power-hungry socialist to Jesus Christ.
“The Unprecedented” is so far beyond parody that Fox News’ Tucker Carlson felt compelled to devote his Friday night opening monolog to summing up the highlights of what he calls “a book-length suck up to Alexandra Ocasio-Cortez” and “a remarkable piece of journalism.
One passage reads: “To say she is a feminist is to understate the facts. Ocasio-Cortez is the first politician in history to live fully out loud while female. And the degradations of womanhood are personal to her.”
“What exactly does that mean?” Carlson asks.
In terms of the degradations of womanhood, he says, “No one has done more personally to degrade American womanhood than Sandy Cortez has. She is living proof that 60 years of feminist liberation did not work.”
“Sandy Cortez is not empowered. She is neurotic and silly.”
He plays a makeup tutorial video she recently made. “As a woman of color,” she laments, rolling her eyes at the unfairness of it all, “it’s so hard to be taken seriously. … People already try to diminish me, diminish my voice as young and frivolous and unintelligent.”
Regarding her reference to herself as a woman of color, Carlson says, “No one ever dares to challenge that description, but every honest person knows it is hilariously absurd. There is no place on earth, outside of American colleges and newsrooms, where Sandy Cortez would be recognized as a woman of color.”
“She’s not. She’s a rich, entitled white lady. She’s the pampered, obnoxious ski-bunny in the matching snowsuit who tells you to pull up your mask while you’re standing in the lift line at Jackson Hole.”
Carlson continued. “Apparently, the editors of NY Magazine don’t ski. They spend the entire book pretending that Sandy Cortez has just emerged from some teeming favela in the slums of Rio to save the world’s poor. Reading it, you would have literally no clue she was a member of the credentialed overclass. You’d think she was St. Francis.”
In another passage, the editors write: “On the day of the House vote, Ocasio-Cortez stood up in the chamber, again wearing all white. She looked like a prophet or a medium tapping a deep well of popular fury.”
“That’s not at all how we remember the moment,” Carlson notes. “Look at this person and see if you can feel God’s presence.”
A clip of AOC is played. She is waving her arms frenetically, then puts her whole body into it. She looks and sounds more like a belligerent pre-adolescent who finds something unfair.
“A prophet? Or proof that Adderall abuse is more common than we admit,” Carlson deadpans.
“The editors are highly impressed by the way Ocasio-Cortez looks. They think she’s hot. It’s a major theme in the book. In fact, it’s a major theme with Ocasio-Cortez herself. She talks about her beauty constantly.”
Carlson recalls that, “Just a few weeks ago, she let us know that everyone wants to sleep with her all the time. What a burden. It’s like living as a nudist in the Dallas Cowboys’ locker room. Men are so aroused by her TikTok videos, she can barely get through a day, yet she does her job anyway. She’s a hero.”
“The burden of sexiness weighs heavily on her sleek and tawny shoulders,” he says, “but she bears up under it.”
The editors tell us that, “Ocasio-Cortez would have been well aware of her impact on others. Her rhetoric could be confrontational and her politics countercultural, but her appearance conformed to society’s conventions. With her wide-apart eyes, arched brows and tawny complexion, she could have modeled for a skin-care line and, in fact, later capitalized on these assets by shooting a makeup tutorial for Vogue.”
Carlson weighs in: “Imagine a man saying that? It’d probably be considered patronizing, if not grounds for cancellation. But New York Times Magazine isn’t ashamed to objectify Ocasio-Cortez. It makes you wonder what would happen if one day she gained 100 pounds, and got eczema on her nose and forgot to trim her ear hair. Well, you know what would happen. Her political influence would evaporate instantly.
“She’s not the leader of an ideological movement. She’s a living marketing campaign.
“Painting her own face may be her one real skill.
Finally, a clip from a video which shows AOC sitting inside her empty apartment as she assembles an end table she’s purchased from IKEA is played.
The book describes the scene: “Wearing an old moto jacket … eating a bowl of popcorn and drinking a glass of wine. For dessert, she has a small pack of fruit snacks, sent to her in bulk by Robert’s mother.”
Carlson rightly points out that, “It takes a special kind of narcissist to imagine that the world desperately wants to see you bolt together a particle board coffee table.”
While we may find the portrayal of the Squad leader as presented in this book to be just plain ridiculous, many Americans will consider it to be an accurate description of this “living legend.”
With sycophantic coverage like this, it’s completely understandable how this ditsy, empty-headed socialist may have developed such an overly inflated sense of herself.
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