Political Parody As a Weapon Part LXXVI; This juice is never worth the squeeze.

Political Parody As a Weapon Part LXXVI; This juice is never worth the squeeze.

Last week, in Part LXXV, we tested the limits of song parody to help build a place to examine the tests being failed by the current occupant of the White House. This week, we will travel up the Amtrak Northeast Corridor beyond the District of Columbia and Greenville, Delaware to go after the low hanging fruit at CNN headquarters in New York.

A manic broadcast entrepreneur in Atlanta named Ted Turner started the Cable News Network (CNN) in the early 1980s to broadcast news and opinion coverage on a 24 hours a day, seven days per week basis. In January of 1991, as Operation Desert Shield shifted to Operation Desert Storm, the bombs of the US-led coalition began to fall in Baghdad. As CNN’s news staff showed a willingness to look the other way and suppress the story of Saddam Hussein’s torture of his own people, they were able to broadcast reports from the besieged city to the West with their correspondents Bernard Shaw and Peter Arnett, and their profile and credibility as an international news organization increased.

Soon other networks followed suit with their own cable news outlets, and CNBC and MSNBC were born. Roger Ailes and Rupert Murdoch, recognizing that at least half of American news and commentary consumers were not being served, started Fox News in 1996 in order to compete with these left wing outlets masquerading as unbiased journalists by offering conservative editorial viewpoints.

Once competition was introduced into the cable news world, CNN’s business model began to suffer. As the network floundered about trying to find a lineup that might allow CNN to have top ratings, in 2010 a Malaysian airliner disappeared, seemingly without a trace. CNN began to cover the aviation mystery around the clock, and the elevated the broadcast career of Don Lemon, who theorized the missing jet might have flown into a black hole (similar to the fate of the aircraft lost in time in The Twilight Zone Season 2 Episode 18 “The Odyssey of Flight 33”).

What is ironic is right around the time of Lemon’s career taking off, he had released a video of advice to black people to improve their circumstances. While not as succinct and on point as Chris Rock’s advice to everyone on law enforcement interaction, it could have brought about the kind of reaction similar to when Jesse Jackson threatened to castrate Barack Obama for similar observations a couple of years before in 2008. Apparently, though, given Lemon’s dual status as black and homosexual in leftist identity politics helped him get a pass at that time, and Lemon became the solo host of a prime time CNN “news” show.

By 2015, in the Zucker era at CNN, once Donald Trump walked down the escalator at New York’s Trump Tower to announce his bid for the presidency, the network’s business model of all-Trump, all the time helped Lemon fill his prime time show with samples of his Trump derangement syndrome.

Once Donald Trump left office in January of 2021, the ratings of CNN fell precipitously. In the absence of a missing airliner or a hated president, viewers could discern no more reason to watch Lemon or CNN. After the network was sold and Zucker fired, Lemon was demoted from his prime time evening solo show to a morning slot co-hosting with Poppy Harlow and Corey Lewandowski’s sparring partner Kaitlan Collins by the Fall of 2022.

As 2023 began, tensions were apparent on the set of CNN’s morning show between the co-hosts. Things deteriorated quickly, however by mid-February they caught fire after Nikki Haley announced she was seeking the 2024 republican nomination for president, and called for cognitive testing for all politicians over 75 years old.

The following day, Lemon was critical of the age-based proposal. The 56 year old Lemon told his female co-hosts that Haley herself was not “in her prime”, as she was 51 years old. Lemon went on to explain to his colleagues and the audience that when he had googled the answer to the question as to when a woman was in her prime, Google advised him that it was when she was in her 20s or 30s, perhaps 40.

Lemon tried to use Twitter later that day to express his regret for his remarks, but the damage was done. Lemon was banished from the morning show for a week and sentenced to a day of reeducation. Apparently, CNN’s executives believe that the more than half of a century of warping Lemon’s insight into the female half of the population can be corrected in 24 hours.

Don Lemon is not the only celebrity to have age-related problems with females. Peter Yarrow of Peter, Paul and Mary was convicted of taking indecent liberties with an underage female fan in 1969 and served a few months in prison for the child molestation offense, though he was subsequently pardoned by President Jimmy Carter. Among the hits recorded by these friends of John Kerry (who is apparently not concerned about the impact of cannabis smoke and cultivation on climate change) was a song also covered by Trini Lopez entitled “Lemon Tree”. I have borrowed the tune and added a verse to create a calypso folk ballad of man who somehow lived more than 50 years without learning of the hazards of commenting on a woman and age.

 

 

Way back in Two thousand and ten, when he had no show yet
C N N asked Don Lemon of the missing Malay jet
He didn’t need to research or to consult a poll
He offered up the theory it flew into a black hole

Lemon he thinks he’s witty but his words are not too sweet
But when he speaks of prime of women his words he must delete
Lemon he thinks he’s witty but his words are not too sweet
But when he speaks of prime of women his words he must delete

When it became apparent of the things he did not know
The brass at C N N thought he must have a prime time show
It mattered not to all there that he was doomed from jump
Because soon all that mattered was he hated Donald Trump

Lemon he thinks he’s witty but his words are not too sweet
But when he speaks of prime of women his words he must delete
Lemon he thinks he’s witty but his words are not too sweet
But when he speaks of prime of women his words he must delete

One day, the Donald left DC and moved his office south
And no one left in prime time watched the words from Lemon’s mouth
They moved him to a morning show but he’s unhappy there
Because his time there on the screen with women he must share

Lemon he thinks he’s witty but his words are not too sweet
But when he speaks of prime of women his words he must delete
Lemon he thinks he’s witty but his words are not too sweet
But when he speaks of prime of women his words he must delete

One day, there on his morning show where he could be seen daily He spoke of women past their prime to put down Nikki Haley And so he angered half the world when out these words he spit Of things he has no knowledge of if he can’t google it

Lemon he thinks he’s witty but his words are not too sweet
But when he speaks of prime of women his words he must delete
Lemon he thinks he’s witty but his words are not too sweet
But when he speaks of prime of women his words he must delete

#Parody #Ridicule #Alinsky #Biden

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