Political Parody As a Weapon Part LXXXVIII; Rounding third and headin’ for home is a brown eyed handsome man. Whatever happened to the handsome man?
Last week, in Part LXXXVII, a blow was struck on behalf of the Durham report. This week, as a look is taken at how the LA Dodgers have blown their “Pride” celebration, the entendres will continue to double as we step outside the comfort zone of song parody.
The Los Angeles Dodgers Major League Baseball (MLB) franchise came under fire from the right earlier in May when the decided to celebrate their “Pride” Day at the ballpark by honoring the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence (an anti-Catholic hate group that mocks the habit of nuns as it celebrates and promotes sodomy and related behaviors in drag) for its community service. After the Dodgers caved to the pressure and disinvited the drag activists, they were subjected to even more hate from the mainstream media and the LGBTQ+ community, with homosexual lobbyist groups withdrawing their participation in the baseball team’s celebration of their lifestyle and sexual orientation and activities, followed by another reversal.
Among the membership of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence (whose motto is “Go Now and Sin Some More” is the Biden Administration’s former Energy Department appointee, fugitive and serial interstate luggage thief Sam Brinton. Unfortunately, the Dodgers will no longer be honoring his effort to redistribute fashionable women’s clothing from the traveling rightful owners to himself, as well as Brinton’s stewardship of America’s nuclear stockpiles.
Of course, the Dodgers are not the only MLB franchise in the Los Angeles metropolitan area. The Los Angeles Angels play in the American League, and were owned by Disney until 2003. Disney’s returning CEO Bob Iger has long been a social activist with the corporate giant, and has waded into LGBTQ+ fights in the past and in current events. Given that the Angels franchise is available to the right bidder, it would not be surprising to see such a story datelined from Los Angeles in the Spring of 2024:
Disney CEO and Los Angeles Angels General Manager Bob Iger has announced some of the changes that the franchise will be offering now that the team is back in the House of Mickey Mouse. Iger prevailed upon the Disney corporate board to purchase the Angels in January of 2024 for $2.8 billion and place him in the GM position.
Among Iger’s announcements was the honoree for the franchise’s Pride Night, as it was the LA Dodgers 2023 debacle that inspired the CEO to bring his corporate activism back to bear in Major League Baseball. Iger announced that he was ashamed that a team would even briefly back away from its commitment to award the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence for its community service merely because the organization courted controversy due to its hateful actions. In light of this, Iger announced that the franchise would be honoring the historical LGBTQ+ community activism of Ernst Rohm and his Sturmabteilung.
“There were none who did more to promote revolution and the advancement of homosexual activity than Ernst Rohm and his Brownshirts. While some might find his association with Adolf Hitler controversial, I say it is precisely because of his advancement of LGBTQ+ identity that his conflict and contrast with Der Fuhrer was magnified, and he and his comrades were martyred in the Night of the Long Knives.
To celebrate the gay rights organization, the players will be decked out in uniform brown shorts, with rainbow colored armbands featuring a + plus sign inside a circle. “The plus sign is a sign of inclusivity, and we will not rest until all are marching along with us”, Iger claimed.
While some claim that the myth of Nazi homosexuality has been “debunked”, but Iger was dismissive. “The details of his politics are much less important than what he stood for” Iger said, “though for my friends on the left, I will remind them that Ernst’s group was often called ‘beefsteaks’ by the other Nazis, because while they wore brown on the outside, they were red on the inside”.
For those who criticize the team because of the association of the national socialist movement with anti-semitism, Iger also was not impressed. “The night after our Pride Night we are celebrating Jewish heritage night, where all of our Jewish guests will be invited to wear a six point star, and will be gifted a crystal glass with team emblem”. Iger also noted he hoped to get both groups of fans together for the third night of the home stand.
Iger did save the biggest announcement for the end of his presentation, which was a proposed name change for the franchise. “Disney finds that the term “Angel” is too closely associated with the Judeo-Christian religious mythologies, and is not sufficiently inclusive. We believe that the most powerful angel, Lucifer, provides a much more appropriate role model and icon for a team owned by Disney and based in southern California. As a result, beginning next season, we will be playing as ‘The Devils’.”
When asked about the bad luck associated in baseball with “devil” in a team name, Iger remained unmoved. “While Tampa Bay was in last place all but one year when they were the ‘Devil Rays’, and won the league championship once they dumped ‘devil’ from their name, I want no part of what happens in Florida to make things more successful there.”, Iger announced. “Whatever they reject in Florida we’ll take in California”.
While there is talk in the Los Angeles city council of changing the name of the metropolis to “Hell” as its own gesture of inclusivity and rejection of the theological implications of the city’s name, no formal resolution has yet been introduced for consideration. The president of the Hell’s Angels Motorcycle Club mother chapter warned both the city and the ball club that the name and flaming skull were trademarked, and any violations would be met with aggressive litigation.
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