Snark Alert: The Return of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell

Remember way back when Slick Willy Clinton was President. That was before the Army carried rainbow flags in gay pride parades, and the Marine Corps needed public help to find misplaced $100 million F35s. Back in the day, the military brass didn’t want gays in the service. It was some lame homophobic logic about combat readiness – as if that has anything to do with military operations.

President William J. Clinton


Fortunately, it was getting way too hard for a Democrat president to maintain that “no homosexuals in the military” position – at least without losing the all-important biologically confused and reproductively challenged vote. So, our horn-dog in the Oval Office bit his lower lip, felt the pain of the sexually oppressed, and came up with a novel solution. It was called: “Don’t ask, don’t tell.”




Slick’s scheme boiled down to:

My guys don’t really want you gays in uniform, but we won’t be asking about your sexual perversions. So long as you don’t tell us anything that might give us a mental image we can’t forget, we can all play make believe and everything will be cool until my voter base has another hissyfit. But if we accidently find out you’re playing for the other team (sexually, not militarily), we’ll discharge your inappropriately used posterior faster than your Commander in Chief can grope interns in the oval office.

Well, there have been a few changes in the armed services since the dark ages of the unenlightened 90s. Now we’ve got a male Admiral, who wears dresses to the office, yet somehow manages to look even less feminine than Corporal Klinger on MASH. He’s also a pediatrician, so he should know a thing or two about biology – but apparently doesn’t. But, he’s still a board-certified expert about everything to do with children. That’s comforting.

The proper use of pronouns now has its own chapter in the Uniform Code of Military Justice. There are severe penalties for calling a “him” that claims he’s a “her” – but still looks like a “him” – him. Confusion alone should land a few thousand guys/gals/xals in the brig to ponder the logic of it all.

In the 21st century, after induction into the military, you can get your teeth fixed, your vision corrected, and your sex reassigned. Apparently, transsexualism isn’t considered a combat readiness or logistics support issue any longer. I guess the acquisition offices will just start ordering MREs with hormone therapy meds in little rainbow-colored bubble packs included in the accessory pack next to the toilet paper. Easy peasy.

The military has come so far in its quest for total wokeness that I’m surprised there isn’t a MIL Spec for “COEXIST” Hummer bumper stickers – yet. They’d probably cost about 500 bucks each, but would be able to withstand an electro-magnetic pulse capable of turning the lights out in San Francisco faster than Gavin Newsom can.

Well guess what? There’s one thing that hasn’t changed in our Department of Defense. Good ole “Don’t ask, Don’t tell” is still a thing. But it isn’t a sexual preference thing anymore. Now it’s a political preferences thing.

The brass at Minot Air Force Base warned their uniformed staff against going anywhere near the Dakota Patriot Rally. As the warning states, the rally will feature pro-Trump speakers from the Turning Point Action group – a right-wing fringe group who’s extreme ideas only align with about 50 percent of the US population and 100 percent of our white supremacist founding fathers.

The brass advised our soldiers to be cautious, because the event could become confrontational. Apparently, our war fighters don’t do confrontational very well. Who knew? I guess I should have figured that out when the Air Force ceded air superiority to a Chinese balloon. Balloon vs F15? That’s a tough call. We better not risk a jet.

The message from the Minot leadership wrapped up with this little gem:

Participation with such groups as Turning Point Action could jeopardize one’s continued service in the US Military.

Did you follow that? Let me try to translate:

We don’t want you right-wing extremists wearing our uniform at all. But we won’t ask if you’re a MAGA nut, because we’re more tolerant than you. If you are a conservative, we don’t want to hear about it. As long as you don’t act sane – sorry, conservative – we will all continue in our make-believe fantasy world of rainbow snowflakes, solar powered strategic bombers, and flag officers who think Rachel Levine fits in at the O-club. But if you don’t heed our advice, and we catch you at the rally, or wearing a red hat anywhere near our base, you are done soldier. There is no place in this man’s/woman’s/non-binary humanoid’s Air force for you. We’ll have you on a bus back to your racist homophobic pals in flyover country before we get our undies in a bunch and need to lie down.

Well surprise, surprise! It turns out that telling the troops it was against Air Force policy to support conservatism, didn’t go over as well publicly as the Minot command staff expected. They have responded with a new message to base personnel.

Minot Air Force Base is aware that an unofficial message about a local event in the City of Minot was sent in a text message group. The message was based on incorrect data and sent outside of official base messaging platforms. Once the error was identified, base security officials corrected the message traffic to categorize the event as a local political fundraiser, with no security concerns. Further, the updated message communicated there were no issues with military members participating in their personal capacity – in line with their First Amendment rights.

Cute. But there’s something missing from that “correction,” and it’s not rocket science. Allow me to explain it to the guys who operate rockets. It’s missing ACCOUNTABILITY. The message needs the name of the officer who is taking responsibility for fixing the “incorrect data” issue, and it should end with a statement along the lines of: I have spoken to the person responsible for the incorrect message, and informed him/her/xir that if he/she/xi pulls a stunt like that again, his/her/zirs continued service with the military will be jeopardized.

Okay, I feel better now. That’s enough snark for one day. To be clear, I have the utmost respect for those men and women who have volunteered to put themselves at risk in defense of our nation. Having said that, there is something deeply wrong with the leadership of our military.

  • A Lt. Col. testified against the President of the United States in an impeachment proceeding because he disagreed with the President’s foreign policy.
  • A Navy Admiral defied his Commander in Chief’s order to reinstate a Navy Seal.
  • The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs contacted the Chinese and assured them that he’d let them know before we made any surprise military moves against them.
  • That same Chairman, at the urging of Nancy Pelosi, called pentagon officials together and made them vow that they would take no nuclear orders from the National Command Authority, without his express permission.

Those were all acts of insubordination, undermining the orders of their Commander in Chief and the national security policy of the President of the United States. And yet none have been held accountable. When institutions escape accountability, they fail. We’ve seen it at the FBI, DOJ, IRS, DHS, CDC, NIH, DOT, EPA, and every other alphabet soup government agency. Now we’re seeing it at the DoD.

Author Bio: John Green is a political refugee from Minnesota, now residing in Idaho. He has written for American Thinker, and American Free News Network. He can be followed on Facebook or reached at

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