Political Satire: Having trouble surviving these times? You’re not alone. Join us in columnist John F. Di Leo’s exploration of an alternate universe, where we imagine the impossible:
Joe Buckstop, an aging, corrupt old fool, somehow becomes president in his basement, and every night, an aide has to bring him his soup and discuss the events of the day as he prepares to receive his nightly meds…
Note: We continue reprinting roughly every other chapter from Volume Two. In today’s episode, Joe Buckstop’s soup aide, young Rhett Snapper, discusses the anniversary of D-Day with the old man.
D-Day, Memories, and Normandy French Onion Soup
Dateline June 6. Begin Transcript:
“Good evening, sir! Are you ready for some hot soup, sir?”
“Soup is always hot. That’s kind of the point.”
“Well, yes, sir, usually… there are cold soups too, but the cook doesn’t seem to make them.”
“Yeah. Soup should be hot.”
“Well, sir, this sure is. Normandy French Onion Soup, sir.”
“I’ve had French Onion Soup. What’s different about this one?”
“Well, the cook said, it’s made with a lot of cream and apple cider, in addition to the usual. And it’s especially hot because it’s baked in this heavy crock. So don’t touch; it’ll be really hot, sir.”
“Are there crackers?”
“There are always crackers, sir. Soup, crackers, napkins, spoon. Here you are, sir.”
“Hey, this is hot!”
“Yes, sir, that’s why I mentioned it, sir.”
“Normandy. There was something familiar about that. I’m getting the oddest feeling of deja flu…”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Day go by?”
“No, sir.”
“Day lily?”
“No, sir.”
“What am I thinking of… come on, you know the thing… umm….”
“Are you thinking of deja vu, sir?”
“That’s it!”
“You mean, sir, that Normandy was on your mind today, sir, even before we brought the soup?”
“Yes. I mean, no… it wasn’t, but the soup reminded me…. it’s like, Normandy should have been on my mind, but it wasn’t, you know?”
“I think so, sir. Is it like when you remember that it’s somebody’s birthday, but you can’t remember whose, sir?”
“That’s it! Today must be somebody’s birthday.”
“I’m not sure that’s it, sir.”
“Let’s see. Do i know anybody named Norman? There was Norman Schwartzkopf, the general… Norman Fell, the actor… Norman Mailer, the writer…”
“You know all of those famous people, sir?”
“No, I didn’t know any of them. I’m just trying to think of every Norman I can. It won’t take long. I don’t think I can think of a lot of Normans…”
“Perhaps I can help, sir. Today was the 77th anniversary of D-Day, sir.”
“Of what?”
“D-Day, sir.”
“What day?”
“D-Day, sir. The D-Day invasion, sir. At Normandy, sir.”
“Oh. Where’s that?”
“France, sir. Normandy is a province of France, sir. The northern coast of France, sir.”
“Never ceases to amaze me how you can remember all these things, kid.”
“Rhett, sir.”
“Oh, you read about them?”
“No, sir. I mean, yes, sir, I did, but that’s not the point, sir. It’s my name, remember? Rhett? Rhett Snapper, remember?”
“Oh.”
“I know I’m just a temp, but I’ve been here a month, sir, I don’t want to sound whiny, but it’s not exactly great for an employee’s self-esteem if his boss can’t remember his name.”
“Oh, right, that’s true. I should remember it. What’s your name again?”
“Rhett, sir. Like in Gone with the Wind, sir.”
“Yup, that’s it. As soon as I learn something, it’s gone with the wind.”
“Yes sir. So, anyway, sir, Normandy is in northern France, sir…”
“How do you remember these things?”
“Well, sir, it’s not like it’s hard, sir. It couldn’t be the eastern border of France, because that’s Germany… it couldn’t be the southeast, that’s Switzerland and Italy… it couldn’t be the southwest, because that’s Spain. So really, it would have to be the north or the northwest coast, sir, for an amphibious landing, sir. Or that small southern coast, I suppose, on the Riviera.”
“Oh.”
“But I’ve studied it in school, sir. I have the advantage of having had high school history class just a few years ago, so it’s still fresh in my mind. It’s been longer for you, sir, I know.”
“You’re telling me! Over sixty years! And I slept through it then, too!”
“Of course, sir.”
“So why are we talking about it again?”
“Because D-Day – the allied amphibious assault against the Germans that turned the tide in World War II – happened on this day, 77 years ago today, sir.”
“Ohhhh…… I see. 77 years ago, huh?”
“Yes sir. The 160,000 Allied troops of the D-Day Invasion began to arrive on June 6, 1944, sir. It was the biggest amphibious invasion in human history, sir. Several times bigger than when the British landed at New York in 1776, sir.”
“Huh? They did? What did they do that for?”
“In the American Revolution, sir. 1776. You must remember, sir.”
“Oh, no, I’m not that old.”
“No, sir, I mean, the British landed over 25,000 troops and New York that fall and basically kept hold of New York for the entire war, sir.”
“What does that have to do with World War II?”
“Well, nothing, directly, I was just saying, that’s how powerful a huge landing like that can be. You dump tens of thousands of troops on a shore all at once and they start shooting, when the beach had been empty an hour before, and, well, that can be pretty powerful, sir.”
“Oh.”
“So that’s the anniversary today, sir.”
“Oh.”
“My dad says that one of President Reagan’s greatest speeches was his speech on the 40th anniversary of D-Day… He said that some of the veterans of the invasion were there in the audience, and he spoke directly to them, and it was really a powerful moment, sir.”
“Oh.”
“So, do you remember what you did about it today, sir?”
“Huh?”
“Well, you must have given a speech or delivered remarks, this morning, or something like that, right?”
“Why?”
“Well, I didn’t hear it on the news, sir, but I figured you must have, right? I mean, it’s the anniversary of D-Day, one of the most monumental days in human history, sir. I just figured, well, you must have issued a statement or something, right?”
“Why?”
“Well, sir, because, uhh, well, because it’s what you do, that’s all! My dad said that this sort of thing is just, well, it’s what a president does… It’s part of the bully pulpit of the presidency. To remind people of their proud history, and to remind the veterans and their families that we appreciate their sacrifice and their heroism, and to let our current servicemen know that we appreciate them too, and if they are called on to act with such heroism, they too will be remembered, twenty years later… forty years later… seventy-seven years later, two hundred years later. Sometimes, dad says, servicemen need that reminder for morale, to remember that what they are a part of, is, well, it’s permanent, it’s everlasting, that their service is part of America, sir.”
“Mmm..”
“Sir? Umm… Sir? Are you awake?”
“Oh, right. Yes. Of course I’m awake.”
“You fell asleep, sir.”
“Well, I was waiting so long for this soup to be ready to eat, and now I think I can. It’s still warm, but it won’t burn my mouth. I can eat it now. Where are the crackers?”
“Right there, sir. Behind the crock, sir.”
“Oh, goody.”
“You didn’t even issue a brief comment about the D-Day anniversary today, did you, sir? You didn’t work it into a speech or anything, sir?”
“I’ve been working really hard. I don’t remember. Maybe we’ll mention it next week or something. What is it again?”
“D-Day, sir. The 77th anniversary, sir.”
“No, no, that’s not what I mean. What is this soup, again? I keep forgetting the name.”
Copyright 2021-2024 John F Di Leo
Excerpted with permission from Evening Soup with Basement Joe, Volume Two, from Free State West Publishing, available in paperback or eBook exclusively on Amazon.
John F. Di Leo is a Chicagoland-based international transportation and trade compliance professional and consultant. A onetime Milwaukee County Republican Party chairman, he has been writing a regular column for Illinois Review since 2009. His book on vote fraud (The Tales of Little Pavel) and his political satires on the current administration (Evening Soup with Basement Joe, Volumes I, II, and III), are available in either eBook or paperback, only on Amazon.
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