Snark

The Infantry: The Guys Who Get the Dust While Everyone Else Gets the Glory

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The cavalry gets the glory. The infantry gets the dust. For thousands of years, warfare has invented faster horses, bigger guns, tanks, aircraft, drones, and now cyber warriors—but eventually somebody still has to walk onto the objective with a rifle and take the ground. Call them ground pounders, earth pigs, grunts, soldiers, or Marines: they are the infantry. Not everyone should be one, and thank God for that. But every army needs them, because wars may be shaped by technology, artillery, armor, and airpower—but ground is still won by the poor bastard standing on it.

Before You Mock the 6.5 Creedmoor, Learn What “Creedmoor” Means

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The 6.5 Creedmoor has been around for 19 years, and apparently that still hasn’t been enough time for some gun enthusiasts to learn what the word Creedmoor actually means.

Before you utter “6.5 Man Bun” again, try Google.

The Army Is Apolitical. And DFAC Coffee Is Gourmet.

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The Army Chief of Staff is fired. Senior generals depart. The Secretary of the Army resigns. Meanwhile, the Iran war escalates and even tactical nuclear options reportedly enter Pentagon discussions.

Maybe it’s personalities and “woke generals.” Maybe it’s something much deeper happening behind classified doors.

What the hell is going on inside the Pentagon?

Sure, You Can Keep the Rifle. We’ll Just Regulate Everything That Makes It Work.

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“Shall not be infringed” apparently comes with an asterisk. Sure, you can keep the rifle—we’ll just regulate the powder, primers, ammunition, and everything else required to make it go bang. Maryland’s five-pound smokeless-powder limit raises a much bigger constitutional question: Can government regulate around the Second Amendment by controlling what makes an arm functional?

America’s Rifle: The 26 Million People You Didn’t See on the Evening News

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The evening news shows you the criminal with an AR-15. It rarely shows you the millions of Americans who own one, go to work, raise families, shoot matches, hunt, protect their homes—and never hurt anybody. The 2026 National Firearms Survey estimates 26.4 million Americans own an AR-15 or similar semiautomatic rifle. At that point, perhaps we should stop pretending it’s some exotic fringe firearm and call it what it has become: America’s Rifle. Behind every blade of grass? Maybe not—but we’re certainly working on it. God bless America. Shall not be infringed.

Beware the Fudd: He’s Not Extinct—And Kids, You’re Using the Word Wrong

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The Fudd isn’t simply an old guy with a walnut-stocked deer rifle. He’s the gun owner who says, “I support the Second Amendment, but nobody needs *that*.” From $20,000 shotguns to $500 AR-15s—and even the infamous “full semi-automatic”—America’s gun culture has spent decades learning that somebody else’s firearm doesn’t become less protected just because you don’t like it. Beware: the Fudd isn’t extinct. He’s evolved. And kids, you’re using the word wrong.

Dad’s Permanent Trailer Plate Has Entered the Surveillance State

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Dad thought “permanent trailer plate” meant permanent. Government apparently meant, “until you buy another trailer, peasant.” For generations, recycling an old trailer plate was the kind of technically-wrong rural economics nobody noticed unless a cop had an actual reason to look. Today, cameras, databases, and algorithms potentially can notice—and remember—things no human officer ever would have bothered with.

That raises a bigger question than Dad’s Great Trailer Plate Crime Spree: **When technology makes it possible for government to notice nearly everything, should it?**

The FOBbit: How the Army Turns Warriors Into PowerPoint-Slinging Indoor Cats

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The Army has a remarkable ability to take a perfectly functional warrior, promote him a few times, hand him three computer monitors, and turn him into a PowerPoint-slinging indoor cat. Thus begins the evolution of the FOBbit: that mysterious creature who once went outside the wire but now survives on RFIs, synchronization meetings, Green Beans coffee, and Baskin-Robbins. The real horror comes when you finally look down at your ice cream, look at your clean uniform, hit “Send” on another 1600 suspense, and realize the terrible truth: Oh, $h!tt! I’m the FOBbit.

I Don’t Believe in Miracles, Says the Miracle

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Modern man says he doesn’t believe in miracles while standing on a wet rock hurtling through space, made of stardust, possessing consciousness nobody can fully explain, pondering a universe nobody can explain why exists. God? Ridiculous. Ancient aliens? Now you have his attention. Maybe we didn’t stop believing—we just changed the vocabulary and became selectively skeptical about which mysteries are socially acceptable. Watch for AFNN next week as we ask the uncomfortable question: “I Don’t Believe in Miracles,” Says the Miracle.

Welcome to the Pentagon Wars: The National Guard Still Hates Me

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The Pentagon doesn’t fight just one kind of war. Some are fought with tanks and rifles; others with spreadsheets, PowerPoint, and somebody quietly asking, “Where haven’t they spent their money yet?” Born from Robert McNamara’s 1960s-era attempt to bring rational analysis to defense spending, the POM process evolved into an institutionalized food fight where the Active Army, National Guard, and Army Reserve defend their rice bowls while hunting for everyone else’s leftovers. I happened to be pretty good at looking under the fiscal seat cushions—and somewhere, I suspect, a retired National Guard programmer still mutters my name. Welcome to the Pentagon Wars.

The Greatest Generation Didn’t Have A Port Call Scheduled

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The Greatest Generation didn’t have Wi-Fi, DoorDash, FaceTime, scheduled port calls—or an expected return date. They had a war to win. Today’s sailors aren’t the problem; they’re products of a culture that has become extraordinarily good at eliminating discomfort. The question isn’t whether young Americans are “soft.” It’s whether America still teaches resilience before history demands it the hard way.

The Pacific Ocean doesn’t have an HR department, and the enemy doesn’t care about your deployment schedule.

Flock You: The Fourth Amendment Would Like a Word

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America has built a surveillance network King George III could only dream about. License-plate cameras may help catch criminals, but when government can potentially turn millions of innocent motorists into searchable dots on a map, the Fourth Amendment deserves a seat at the table. Catch the car thief. Find the missing child. But when the government wants to reconstruct where ordinary citizens have been, Americans should remember two beautiful words our Founders would appreciate: Flock you.

Feeding the Beast: And Lo, We Built It a Data Center

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What if the Beast of Revelation didn’t rise from the sea—but arrived in a server rack? This fictional, extra-biblical excursion imagines AI as the Beast, data centers as its temples, and humanity enthusiastically feeding it electricity, water, privacy, knowledge, and eventually perhaps our autonomy. The disturbing part isn’t that the machine might conquer us. It’s that we may build it ourselves, connect everything to it, put it in our pockets—and stand in line for the upgrade.

The Carry a Sword Movement: Bring Back the Original Open Carry

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America once produced men who wouldn’t leave the house without a sword hanging from their belt. Washington carried one. Patton designed one. West Point cadets still have them. Yet today, strap on a saber for a trip to Home Depot and suddenly you’re the weird guy. Maybe it’s time to bring back the original open carry. Swords are arms. Shall not be infringed. Support the right. Respect the right. Carry a sword.

When Government Rewards Evil: The Biblical Line Between Obedience and Resistance

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Christians are frequently reminded that Romans 13 tells us to obey governing authorities. Fair enough. But what happens when government reverses its God-given assignment—punishing good, protecting evil, or commanding Christians to violate their conscience? Scripture actually answers that question, and the answer is considerably less comfortable than “just obey.”

Sword and Scimitar: The 1,400-Year History We Somehow Forgot to Mention

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Raymond Ibrahim’s *Sword and Scimitar* commits a dangerous act in modern history: it starts at the beginning. Long before the First Crusade of 1095, Christian lands across the Middle East, North Africa, Spain, and Anatolia had already faced centuries of Islamic conquest and warfare. Through eight pivotal battles spanning more than a thousand years, Ibrahim restores the part of the timeline that somehow keeps falling behind history’s couch cushions. His argument is uncomfortable, provocative, and difficult to dismiss: the Crusades weren’t Chapter One of the conflict—they arrived hundreds of pages into the story. You can debate Ibrahim’s conclusions, but you can’t understand 1095 while pretending 636 never happened.

Snark: Just Eat the Bugs: Washington’s Brilliant Solution to the American Beef Problem

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Perhaps we’ve been looking at America’s beef crisis all wrong. Beef is expensive. The cattle herd is historically small. Drought hammered ranchers. Feed got expensive. Equipment got expensive. Interest got expensive. Land got expensive. Mexican cattle imports were disrupted because a flesh-eating parasite decided to make a comeback. Obviously, the solution is simple. Eat bugs. …

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If Colonel Townsend Whelen Had an iPhone

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Colonel Townsend Whelen spent a lifetime proving that only accurate rifles are interesting. But imagine handing him an iPhone and asking ChatGPT for a 6.5 Creedmoor load. After staring at it for thirty seconds, he’d probably ask, “What the hell is Wi-Fi?” Then he’d type, “Best accuracy load. 140 Berger. H4350. Go.” After 41 years behind a rifle, I did exactly that—and one of the best first-round load developments of my career popped out. Luck? Maybe. Or maybe AI just read a hundred years of load manuals, match reports, and internet arguments in about half a second. Either way, it didn’t pull the trigger. It just saved a little barrel life. And these days, that’s worth its weight in powder.

Facebook Jail: We Did Our Time—Now History Is Doing the Talking

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Remember when asking the wrong question could earn you a 30-day sentence in Facebook Jail? Millions of posts disappeared, accounts were suspended, and countless users earned their digital “street cred” for challenging the Official Truth™ of the day. Then, as the science evolved, some forbidden topics quietly became acceptable discussion. This isn’t just a look back at the COVID years—it’s a satirical reminder that when a handful of powerful platforms decide what’s permissible to say, every free society should ask the same uncomfortable question: **Who decides what the truth is tomorrow?**

If I Were Dr. Evil: I’d Skip the Shark Death Ray and Start Three Wars

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If I were Dr. Evil, I wouldn’t build a death ray—I’d build three crises. Light up the Middle East, keep NATO and Russia occupied in Europe, then watch China eye Taiwan while America tries to put out three fires with one garden hose. The nightmare isn’t one enemy defeating America; it’s several adversaries realizing they don’t have to take turns.