ITEM 1: President Trump gave all active duty military personnel and qualified National Guardsmen a Christmas bonus of $1,776.
They earned it. The U.S. military had a terrific year. The Army shut down the Mexican border and held a real nice parade. Air Force B-2s and Navy Tomahawks shut down Iran’s nuclear program. The National Guard cleaned up Washington and backed ICE and other federal agencies in DC, LA, Memphis and other places. The Navy blew up drug runners from Venezuela and blockaded that country’s oil tankers. The Coast Guard boarded oil tankers.
Trump’s war consigliere, Pete Hegseth, is off to a great start. No wonder the media hates him.
ITEM 2: Karoline Leavitt tweeted, “Military hits best recruiting numbers in 15 years.”
Everyone wants to be on a winning team.
ITEM 3: The Independent reported, “U.S. moves more troops and special ops aircraft to Caribbean as Trump ramps up pressure in region: report.”
Christmas in the Caribbean. Could it be any better than this?
ITEM 4: Libs of TikTok tweeted on Christmas night, “Trump just launched a deadly strike against ISIS terrorists in Nigeria.”
General Washington and Lieutenant James Monroe nod in approval.
ITEM 5: Axios reported, “U.S. murders on pace for largest one-year drop on record.”
A 20% drop. In one year.
Specialist Sarah Beckstrom did not die in vain.
ITEM 6: Jim Acosta said, “What in the world is the president of the U.S. doing in so many photographs with Jeffrey Epstein? How long did it take for it to dawn on you that Jeffrey Epstein was a creep? This friendship went on for years and years.”
Yes, Acosta Living should ask President Clinton why he is in all those photos.
ITEM 7: CNBC reported, “Trump administration to start seizing pay of defaulted student loan borrowers in January.”
We ought to check out SAT scores before loaning any money. You don’t score in the 50th percentile or higher, no money, honey. If you don’t know what a percentile, no college either.
ITEM 8: Congressman Ted Lieu sarcastically tweeted, “The genius of America is that an immigrant like me—with absolutely no connection to the Mayflower—can cross the Pacific and become a Cleveland Browns fan.”
He’ll never face real justice but being a Browns fan is punishment enough.
ITEM 9: Norm Eisen tweeted, “We are suing Trump & his cronies to restore the Kennedy Center’s lawful name.”
Not Normal Norm should file his lawsuit at the Speaker Nancy Pelosi Federal Building, 90 7th Street, San Francisco, California.
ITEM 10: Haruka Suzumori tweeted, “At a hospital in Sichuan, China, someone collapses but no one, including doctors and nurses, decide to help. They ignore him and keep walking. This is the supposed socialist health care system some people keep telling us to implement.”
But it is affordable and that’s all that really matters.
ITEM 11: Nicholas Kristof tweeted his reaction to a Washington Post story: “Heartbreaking story about women and girls raped in Eastern Congo who can no longer get medication to prevent HIV transmission, because of Trump administration’s USAID cuts.”
Grok: Government forces conduct 54% of the rapes.
Hey, I know how to reduce rapes by 54%.
ITEM12: Democrats: Cutting foreign aid kills children.
Also Democrats: Trump shouldn’t give Equatorial Guinea $7.5 million.
EQ is taking illegal aliens off our hands.
ITEM 13: Fox reported, “Trump unveils ‘Golden Fleet’ of Navy battleships, touts them as ‘more powerful than any’ ever built.”
He must have played Battleship as a kid.
ITEM 14: Breitbart reported, “Justice Department Ends Clinton Rule Giving Welfare to Migrants.”
It always go back to Jeff Epstein’s buddy.
ITEM 15: Forget the Bentley. I want this coal-powered truck.
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How much would it cost? My marriage. She still says no.
ITEM 16: NBC tweeted, “Judges who ruled against Trump say harassment and threats have changed their lives.”
NBC three years ago: “Free speech or federal crime? Protesters are still marching outside conservative Supreme Court justices’ homes.”
Hey, judges, consider the pizzas free speech with pepperoni.
ITEM 17: Bernie Sanders tweeted, “We have a MAJOR housing crisis.”
The poors cannot afford three houses like he has.
ITEM 18: Emmanuel Macron tweeted, “France condemns the visa restriction measures taken by the United States against Thierry Breton and four other European figures.”
Remember, you can call them Liberal Tears only if they come from the Liberal Tears region of France.
ITEM 19: CBS News reported, “The U.S. economy grew at a blistering 4.3% annual pace in the third quarter, according to new government data released Tuesday.”
Paul Krugman hardest hit.
ITEM 20: Dow Jones reported, “The U.S. Economy Keeps Powering Ahead, Defying Dire Predictions”
I see. The predictions weren’t wrong. The economy is.
ITEM 21: Peter Navarro tweeted, “Mexico just imposed tariffs of up to 50% on Chinese imports. President Trump’s tariff strategy is becoming the global template.”
Red China hardest hit.
ITEM 22: AP reported, “The Trump administration is recalling nearly 30 career diplomats from ambassadorial and other senior embassy posts as it moves to reshape the U.S. diplomatic posture abroad with personnel deemed fully supportive of President Donald Trump’s America First priorities.”
You clean a house one room at a time.
ITEM 23: In a Drudge-approved post, the Daily Beast lived up to its name by reporting, “Trump and Epstein’s flight with 20-year-old woman revealed in new files.”
Wow. Flying with someone who is not a minor. Now you know why Trump’s not a Democrat.
ITEM 24: JD Vance tweeted, “Just finished PT with the Navy SEALs for 90 minutes. They took it easy on me and I still feel like I got hit by a freight train.”
He should have gone another 19 minutes but the Navy no longer has PT 109.
ITEM 25: Laura Powell, Esquire, tweeted:
Speaking in support of a strike by Starbucks employees, Rep. Pramila Jayapal says “it is about the national fight to break up giant monopolies.”
Were you aware that Starbucks is the only place you can buy coffee? I could have sworn I had seen other coffee shops.
Where’s that Deport button?
ITEM 26: Colombian President Gustavo Petro called for Colombians living in the U.S., Argentina, and Chile to return to Colombia because “they live better here” and people in those three countries voted for “destroying migrant families.”
Juan Valdez is lonely.
ITEM 27: Eric Daugherty tweeted, “In an INCREDIBLE development, 43 critically missing children were just SAVED before Christmas in Florida thanks to federal involvement with local police.”
Santa ain’t alone in making children happy this year. Or old people.
Nevertheless, Grandma got run over by a reindeer.
ITEM 28: Christian Collins tweeted:
In 2023, the Iranian regime seized a U.S.-bound oil tanker because Joe Biden projected weakness.
Democrats said nothing.
Now they’re outraged that President Trump seized a tanker carrying SANCTIONED oil to Iran.
US AID, Mexican drug cartels, Iranian ayatollahs, Hamas leaders, Maduro, Ukraine oligarchs—gotta keep those kickbacks coming or Hunter will go broke.
ITEM 29: KOMO reported, “Hunter Biden says he has no clue how to pay off his $15 million debt.”
He should try painting houses instead of artwork.
Oops, the last guy who took that advice wound up invading Poland. Please subscribe.
SubscribedITEM 30: Former Deputy Assistant AG John Yoo on the Supreme Court ruling against the Trump administration’s deployment of the National Guard: “The Supreme Court is essentially inviting President Trump to send regular armed troops and deploy those to Chicago and Los Angeles before he can send the National Guard.”
His punchline was, “I think a governor would rather have National Guard troops than the 82nd Airborne and the Marine Corps patrolling the streets of Chicago.”
ITEM 31: Elon Musk: “There is only basically one way to make everyone wealthy, and that is AI and robotics.”
Mark Cuban: “We need to start discussing now what a robot tax looks like. I like a straight amount per hour of use, per robot or cobot. Doesn’t matter what the shape or form is.”
New thing comes along. First thing the communists want to do is tax it.
ITEM 32: Ladies and gentlemen, presenting a VP of the European Commission.
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Hey, Russians. Forget Europe. See the USA, rent a Chevrolet. America is asking you to call.
ITEM 33: On April 21, in a Matt Drudge-approved story, the Wall Street Journal reported, “Dow Headed for Worst April Since 1932 as Investors Send ‘No Confidence’ Signal.
“Few think administration’s negotiations with trade partners will yield results soon enough to ease the strain.”
The story said, “The S&P 500’s performance since Inauguration Day is now the worst for any president up to this point in data going back to 1928, according to Bespoke Investment Group.”
So far, the S&P 500 is up 18% year-to-date.
Nobody knows the stock market better than the Wall Street Journal. That’s why I trust Nobody.
ITEM 34: Eric Daugherty tweeted, “Niger just announced it is TERMINATING visa issuance to the United States because of President Trump.”
Good. Say its name wrong and you’re dead.
ITEM 35: Red State reported, “Trump to Make Year-End Peace Push That Even the Nobel Committee Will Find Hard to Ignore.”
Zelensky on Sunday, Bibi on Monday. Ukraine swaps places with the Palestinians?
This article first appeared on Don Surber’s Substack. Reprinted here with permission.
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