Don Surber

Don Surber is a retired newspaperman.He is 69 and lives in Poca, WV, with his wife of 45 years, Lou Ann. They grew up in Cleveland. Three kids. Promoted to Grandfather in 2020.

Springtime for Platner ends

by

As the British would say, the Democrat Party is about to give Graham Platner the Spanish archer, aka, the El-Bow. The Nazi-tattooed misogynist mess who raises oysters for his mommy’s restaurant has begun to slip in the polls made public—an indication that Democrats are horrified by the results of their more accurate internal polling.

On Monday, he suspended his campaign, which paves the way for replacing him before the weekend deadline.

Why they try communism

by

Roger Kimball wrote, “Why socialism will fail,” a pretty nifty if overly intellectualized piece that encapsulates the common smug capitalist prediction of doom because “sooner or later you run out of other people’s money.”

Hahaha, right?

Really? Well, Congress ran out of other people’s money in the 1980s. We have a national debt approaching $40 trillion—$40 million million. Maybe we’re the socialists but we just won’t admit it.

Trump’s Supreme victory: Justices helped the president Slaughter the deep state’s hold on the republic.

by

Bummed by the news reports about the Supreme Court as it flooded the end of June with key decisions? Don’t be because the headlines are as misleading as a date with a tranny without being told she is a he.

Reporters cover the courts about as well as they cover the White House, election polls and war.

Obama’s red revolution: Communists take credit for the works of capitalism

by

Donald John Trump’s magical powers include the ability to make people reveal who they truly are. For example, a decade ago, John Kasich was billed as a conservative governor from Ohio.

He was no more conservative than Paul Ryan or Mitt Romney. This weekend, Kasich said:

The SCOTUS decision said Haitians are going to have to be removed from Springfield, Ohio. Things in Haiti are deteriorating. Sending people back to Haiti to me is crazy. I wish Congress would extend TPS for Haitians.

On January 15, 2010, Obama granted Haitians Temporary Protected Status after an earthquake. That was 197 months ago. The law says TPS lasts 18 months.

The Declaration of Dependence: The Loyalists sent their own letter to London. It did not go well for them

by

On Saturday, the nation celebrates its 250th anniversary in this Year of the Bicentennial+50. The Continental Congress declared independence on July 2, 1776. Two days later, they debated and edited the Declaration of Independence. On July 8, 1776, Colonel John Nixon publicly read the Declaration aloud in Philadelphia’s State House yard (now Independence Square). This was accompanied by bell ringing (including the Liberty Bell), cheers, and some military displays.

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE NEWS with Don Surber

by

Don Surber shares his unique take on this week’s news items. Enjoy.

ITEM 1: Sam Stein whined, “SCOTUS just sided with the administration’s desire to end Temporary Protected Status for Haitians. 350k of them now at risk of immediate deportation.”

The cat “pawsed” long enough from poll-writing duties to meow a sigh of relief.

ITEM 2: AP reported:

The Supreme Court sided with the Trump administration Tuesday in an immigration case dealing with the government’s power over green card holders accused of crimes.

The 6-3 decision centers on an immigration officer’s 2012 decision to put lawful permanent resident Muk Choi Lau on immigration parole when he returned from a short trip to China because he had been accused of a counterfeiting crime.

Lau argued that overstepped the officer’s authority, and the decision wrongly allowed the Department of Homeland Security to swiftly begin deportation proceedings after he pleaded guilty to selling counterfeit clothes in New Jersey.

In the Three Stoogettes dissent, KBJ said this put Muk Choi Lau in “immigration limbo.” I agree. He shouldn’t be in immigration limbo. He should be in prison in his home country.

ITEM 3: Prices for SpaceX fell to normal after the sugar rush of its IPO. This means Elon Musk is no longer a trillionaire.

I am setting up a GoFundMe to get him back to that status. Oh, the money won’t go to him. That would be charity and he would never accept. Instead, I will use the money to buy SpaceX shares to get the price back up and Make Elon A Trillionaire Again because I’m such a swell guy.

ITEM 4: The New York Post reported, “Acting AG Todd Blanche announces 455 people charged for $6.5 billion in health care fraud schemes.”

Comment from Lucianne.com: “Pam Bondi was unavailable for comment—something about a nail parlor appointment.”

ITEM 5: JPMorgan Chase fired Angie Báez, 40, as its $350,000 Executive Director of Community and Industry Engagement for Card and Connected Commerce, for stealing a New York Knicks trash can following the team’s NBA championship victory.

Before you trash her, remember she was smart enough to snag a $350,000-a-year gig with just a two-year degree from a community college.

DEI Card. Don’t leave home without it.

ITEM 6: Liberals are upset by (spins wheel) Trump administration women are having babies.

Abortion. Anti-natalism. We haven’t had governors this opposed to childbirth since Herod.

ITEM 7: Via Power Line, “Air conditioning torn from homes under net zero clampdown.”

Hard to sell global warming to people with AC.

ITEM 8: A federal judge handed out sentences of 30 years to 100 years in prison to 8 Antifa members who attacked an ICE facility in Prairieland, Texas.

Apparently George Soros doesn’t provide legal aid to his employees.

ITEM 9: Basil the Great tweeted:

A French woman was given a six month suspended sentence and a €3,000 fine after her home was invaded by a Tunisian migrant who sexually assaulted her.

She appeared on national television to discuss her ordeal and said “the main danger for women in France is Black African and Arab immigrant men.”

The Police then charged her with “incitement to racial hatred.”

I suggest she spend another €3,000 and buy a pet pig to protect her. Name it Hal L.

ITEM 10: Pocahontas tweeted, “If Elon Musk paid my ultra-millionaire wealth tax, we could pay for child care for all three and four year olds in America.”

If federal tax and import policy supported more high-paying jobs for fathers, child care for most 3- and 4-year-olds would be called Mommy again.

ITEM 11: France played Iraq in the FIFA games.

Of course the Muslim team won. I just don’t know which one.

ITEM 12: Kevin Sorbo tweeted, “A Muslim woman in a hijab just said that ‘America deserved 9/11’ and won her primary in NY. That’s what the Democrat Party has become.”

Which is the bigger crime today: being patriotic or islamophobic?

ITEM 13: Collin Rugg tweeted:

Louisiana pastor beats up a man who allegedly threatened to r*pe and kill his wife and grandchildren.

Pastor Tony Spell of Life Tabernacle Church says he was working on a church bus when the neighbor’s son started shouting at him.

Spell said that it is his job as the natural protector to protect his church and family.

Police arrested the preacher. Should have made a whip of cords.

ITEM 14: REPORTER: “A new UK Prime Minister will be installed soon. Do you want to be the first person on his list to visit the country?”

TRUMP: “No.”

Just as well. The new prime minister undoubtedly will be more comfortable in Tehran or some other Muslim city.

Like London.

ITEM 15: From England:

We gotta stop that kid.

(Alternative) He’ll outgrow it and become a kindergartener who shoots someone each week.

ITEM 16: Patriot Pulse reported, “MLB Warned Christian Players for Writing Bible Verses and Harmeet Dhillon Just Made Them Regret It.”

If Black Lives Matter, then Bible Verses Matter too.

ITEM 17: The Washington Free Beacon reported, “‘We Could Make Prisons Obsolete’: James Talarico Called To Slash Police Budgets and Spend the Money on Social Programs.”

Good idea but executions are better and cheaper. Hang a few shoplifters, shoplifting drops.

ITEM 18: President Trump had a closed door luncheon with Senate Republicans.

Unlike Al Capone, he did not need a baseball bat to get his point across. The next day, Bill Cassidy and Rand Paul meekly changed their votes against Iran, flipping the vote on a resolution denouncing the Iranian war.

ITEM 19: Brandon Gill v. Food Stamps Advocate:

GILL: “Is your organization funded by organizations that make money from food stamps?”

WITNESS: *Silence*

GILL: “Do organizations who profit off food stamps fund your organization?”

WITNESS: “I can’t comment to that.”

GILL: “Does General Mills fund your organization?”

WITNESS: “I don’t have access to that information.”

GILL: “I do. It’s right here. They do fund your organization. Do they profit off food stamps?”

WITNESS: “Retailers are the major beneficiaries.”

GILL: “Do you think that’s a conflict of interest? They’re profiting off your advocacy. Do you think that’s a conflict of interest?”

Also a foolish federal judge ruled that the Trump administration cannot stop the use of food stamps to buy soda pop. Coca-Cola and Pepsi must be a food group alongside Cheeto’s, candy corn and bourbon.

One outa three ain’t bad.

ITEM 20: The Athletic—which serves as the sports section for the New York Times—reported, “Caitlin Clark leaves Indiana Fever game with back issue.”

The back issue was Alyssa Thomas, who knocked her down punched her in the throat while Clark was on her back.

Nearly 63 years ago, the NYT reported that JFK left a parade in Dallas after a splitting headache.

ITEM 21: Fox News tweeted:

A 6-year-old boy was found floating unconscious in a Florida pool. Seconds later, an ICE officer jumped in to save him.

ICE law enforcement officer Gregory Simmonds spotted the child in distress in Pasco County on May 16 and immediately pulled him from the water.

The child wasn’t breathing, and Simmonds began life-saving CPR at the scene until the boy regained consciousness.

Simmonds then arrested the boy’s parents and deported them. Heart-warming story.

I went too far, didn’t I? I apologize and blame the cat.

ITEM 22: John Bolton copped a plea, forfeited his pension, agreed to a $2,250,000 fine and still faces up to 5 years in prison (likely zero) because he did not want to risk losing his moustache.

The Trumpenfreude is strong with this one.

ITEM 23: Experts predicted the FIFA World Cup would be a disaster because of Trump and the tougher scrutiny of foreign visitors. The tournament just set an attendance record—breaking the record set in 1994 when the USA last hosted it.

Maybe Democcrats can throw some algae blossoms in the stadiums to distract attention.

BEST OF TWITTER:

One word.

Smart kid.

What’s the frequency, Kenneth?

Slappy Robot.

Faith.

You can subscribe to Don’s Daily Substack Here.

This article first appeared on Don Surber’s Substack. Reprinted here with permission.

If you enjoyed this article, then please REPOST or SHARE with others; encourage them to follow AFNN. If you’d like to become a citizen contributor for AFNN, contact us at managingeditor@afnn.us Help keep us ad-free by donating here.

Substack: American Free News Network Substack
Truth Social: @AFNN_USA
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/afnnusa
Telegram: https://t.me/joinchat/2_-GAzcXmIRjODNh
Twitter: https://twitter.com/AfnnUsa
GETTR: https://gettr.com/user/AFNN_USA
CloutHub: @AFNN_USA

Did we keep a republic?

by

On September 17, 1787, the final day of the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia, Benjamin Franklin, 81, shared with his fellow delegates his assessment of the new Constitution:

I confess that there are several parts of this Constitution which I do not at present approve, but I am not sure I shall never approve them: For having lived long, I have experienced many instances of being obliged by better information, or fuller consideration, to change opinions even on important subjects, which I once thought right, but found to be otherwise.

Where’s the regime change? It is in Iran because killing the ayatollah created a power vacuum.

by

The Clara Peller Company of the RINO Regiment of the Dividers Division is chirping, “Where’s the regime change?”

You remember Clara. She was the 66-year-old manicurist hired to ask, “Where’s the beef?” 42 years ago in a memorable Wendy’s commercial.

She had a legitimate, um, beef. Many a fast food hamburger in 1984 was all bun and little burger.

Today, those who oppose Making America Great Again—both foreign and domestic—are demanding regime change. Where’s the regime change they demand.

Why Americans reject metric: The joke is true. The American revolution was about weights and measures.

by

Comic Nate Bargatze did what was once thought impossible. By playing General Washington, he brought comedy back to SNL after a 30-year absence with two skits called Washington’s Dream in which the general shares his vision of America.

The Obamausoleum opens; A fitting tribute to an unfit man

by

The Obamas opened his presidential center (not library because that would require reading) on Thursday.

The duo gave speeches, which were really lectures. Mister Obama drones less than Al Gore but he is just as sophomoric in his mannerism and sophist in his reasoning. Both men received Nobel Peace Prizes. Two decades after Gore’s, the inconvenient truth is he lied to make money and remain relevant.

“Hello. I’m the Boss.” President Trump projects strength and testosterone. Obama and Biden projected men who sit when they pee

by

The president is the boss because he acts like one.

Any American president should be the boss. The reserve currency throughout the world is the U.S. dollar. The European Union’s attempt to supplant it with the euro has failed. While its share of global reserves is an impressive 20%, the United States is the lion and the lion’s share is three times that of the Europoors.

Victory in Iran: Trump did it with Saudi Arabia, the United Arab Emirates, Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, Oman AND Israel on our side.

by

Move over, Marilyn Monroe. Your happy birthday to President Kennedy is nothing compared to Trump ringing in his 80th with a UFC bout, the Marine Corps Band and a flyover by the Thunderbirds and Blue Angels over the mall with its restored reflecting pool that no longer suffers the aftermath of the Kenyan Klown’s benighted presidency.

Also on Sunday, Iran’s third-string regime waved the white flag and gave up.