It’s the candidates, stupid

Democrats should be in the driver’s seat this fall. Mid-term elections usually go to the party out of power. The SAVE Act won’t be passed in time to stop fraud and corruption at the polls. The president is unpopular. The war is unpopular. The economy is as slow as Jessica Tarlov. And MAGA is almost as enthusiastic as Detroit Tigers fans.

The problem for Democrats are the openly communist Democrats who primaried the ones who can pass for normal. The crop of Democrat nominees this year look like they should live at 1313 Cemetery Lane with their children, Pugsley and Wednesday. Click, click.

Let’s start with Morticia, who was played by Kamala two years go.

Today, Democrats likely will nominate Francesco Hong today. If elected, she would be the first woman governor of Wisconsin, its first Asian governor, and its first bipolar governor.

She is a restauranteur—or was until her restaurant folded last year.

In a 2023 interview with Meal Magazine, she said, “At 18, I had a mental breakdown. I didn’t actually walk at my high school graduation because I had been hospitalized for a week at a child psychiatric hospital. I just felt like nothing had meaning anymore. It was a numbness that took over, and a pain that I couldn’t describe. I couldn’t feel anymore, and that scared the hell out of me. And I found myself self-harming to feel something.”

When asked about cutting, Hong said, “It was cutting. I was diagnosed with bipolar disease. I was taking SSRIs and I’d overdosed on lithium. I didn’t know why I couldn’t connect with people deeper, and that pushes you into isolation.”

Darrell McGraw served on the West Virginia Supreme Court for 12 years and then as the state’s attorney general for 20 years. He was DSA when DSA wasn’t cool. He also was bipolar and had episodes that flared up. I witnessed one. It was not pretty.

But a case for the role of Morticia could be made by Melat Kiros. At 29, she primaried a 30-year congresswoman in Colorado, who was the most leftist member of that state’s congressional delegation.

Colorado Newsline reported, “Kiros was fired from her position at the New York office of law firm Sidley Austin in late 2023, after she posted an open letter defending students protesting Israel’s war in Gaza from charges of antisemitism. She moved back to Denver, where she was raised after her family immigrated from Ethiopia when she was 11 months old, and worked as a barista before and during her campaign.”

Click, click.

Then there’s Gomez. Last year, he was played by Mamdani.

This year, Abdul El-Sayed gets the role. He likely will win the Democrat nomination for the U.S. Senate in Michigan. He bills himself as a physician and has a medical degree but he is not licensed as a doctor in Michigan or anywhere else.

El-Sayed supported erecting the Ground Zero mosque near the World Trade Center site, describing it in a 2010 column as an “exemplary response” to the attacks that would “transform grief into hope.”

His pal at rallies is Hasan Piker, a news celebrity who said “America deserved 9/11.”

El-Sayed argued that does not constitute an endorsement of those specific remarks, while emphasizing their shared economic and anti-war views—the war being the one against the Iranian regime, which has cried Death to America for 47 years.

Well, Obama survived Jeremiah “God Damn America” Wright’s reaction five days after 9/11. Ilhan Omar dismissed 9/11 as “some people did something.” The power of the media to turn Muslims into the victims of 9/11 shouldn’t shock anyone who ever worked at a newspaper.

Then there’s Uncle Fester. Tampon Tim played him in 2024 as Democrats sought the white male vote. They presented him as a high school football coach and war hero. Indeed, he said in 2018, “We can make sure that those weapons of war that I carried in war is the only place where those weapons are at.”

Walz never was in a war. He retired after 24 years in the National Guard to avoid deployment to Iraq in 2005.

This year, two Maine Democrat nominees for the U.S. Senate vie for the role of Uncle Fester. The first one was a rich kid who cosplayed being an oyster farmer. Democrats were OK with his Nazi tattoo, misogynist posts online and him saying instead of shooting an intruder, he would rape him but not in a homosexual way.

After his nomination, the allegations of his rape of women in a heterosexual way soured voters. Polls showed his rapid decline and he withdrew. Failed gubernatorial candidate Troy Jackson replaced him on the ballot.

Jackson is a lumberjack who hasn’t jacked any lumber in 28 years. He’s shacked up with a cousin for 29 years, with whom he had two children.

Click, click.

(Yes, today’s newsletter is click, click bait.)

Finding a new Pugsley after Fire Alarm Puller Jamaal Bowman lost two years ago is a little harder because the IQ required is so low. Thankfully, Democrats nominated James Talarico for U.S. Senate in Texas. He plays with dolls—Tony Fauci dolls.

But a case alsocould be made for Scott Wiener, who seeks to replace Nancy Pelosi, attended and praised San Francisco’s Folsom Street Fair, which has included public “piss play” in kiddie pools by fetish groups. He authored decriminalizing giving AIDS to people, as well as having sex with minors. Strait-laced people are not the ones obsessed with sex.

And there’s California congressional nominee Randy Villegas. He is Wiener-lite becauseas a member of the board for the Visalia Unified School District, he re-hired a pedophile.

Click, click.

Finally, there’s the daughter, Wednesday Addams. (Democrats have not had a good Lurch since John Kerry lost to Bush 22 years ago.)

The nominees for Wednesday are:

Darializa Avila Chevalier, who primaried Congressman Adriano Espaillat. She called the United States a “fucking disgrace.” She supports abolishing borders, the police and prisons.

JoAnna Mendoza, who is the Democrat nominee to unseat Republican Congressman Juan Ciscomani. She’s a retired Marine DI and lesbian—who mysteriously married a Syrian man in 1998. The marriage last 16 days.

Washington state Congresswoman Marie Gluesenkamp Perez beheaded a chicken while in college, which explains why DSA did not primary her.

And the winner is: Congressional nominees Sarah Trone Garriott of Iowa who officiated at a Satanic wedding. Nice day for a black wedding.

What all these rejects share in common is their unfitness for office as communists seek the worst candidates because if elected, they will more likely bring chaos than normal people would.

Ah for the good old days when Democrats let a klansman and a rich kid who left a woman to die underwater in the Chappaquiddick run the Senate.

Oh, there are a few old codgers screaming at clouds. James Carville said, “I am not going to be in the same party with Hasan Piker. I can tell you that right now. If he becomes a force in the Democrat Party, I’m out of here. I have no intention of ever being in the political party with that guy.”

Somebody needs to inform Carville that Democrats don’t want him because he’s 81.

An equally impotent Bill Maher said, “I would vote for Sara Palin” over a DSA candidate. Who cares? She ain’t on the ballot.

Just remember, this year’s Democrat nominees may be creepy and kooky, mysterious and spooky—all together ooky—but there is a good chance they will win in November.

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This article first appeared on Don Surber’s Substack. Reprinted here with permission.

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