With apologies to Johnny Cash and Ghostriders in the Sky I humbly present; Grifter’s Lament—A Parody with Purpose
The deal was cut with Slo-Joe, on a 60s stormy day,
He turned his back on Catholics to join the Baptist fray.
When round the congregation, he didn’t say a word,
Cause the congregation stared at him, and thought, “Who is this nerd.”
Afterwards he met with them their plans to Freedom Ride,
He would have been beside them but his clothes were not yet dried.
For days and nights he thought of them and watched them on tv,
And thought since I am there in heart, it’s truly happening to me.
Slo–oh’o–Joe, Slo–oh’o–Joe,
Destroying the econ–o–my.
Telling lies all day and night so heroic he would seem.
He weaved his way through politics on a grifter’s scheme.
And with his little spawn from Hell you know the “s.o.b.”
They chose to sell our country out, to get a pat from Xi.
Now Slo-Joe he maintains his job is full transparency,
But when it comes to classified, it looks opaque to me.
He’s made more money in his life by access to his job,
The people of our country though, with his policies he robs.
Slo–oh’o–Joe, Slo–oh’o–Joe,
Destroying our coun-n–try.
Now that dog-faced pony soldier, his life is in a mess,
He even has a grandchild to the press he’ll not confess,
His brain’s deteriorating with every passing day,
As dementia has its way with him, along life’s great highway.
He wanders here, he wanders there, he wanders through the night,
Looking for that nowhere man to lead him to the light.
To prove he is still relevant he cusses, yells, and screams,
But on this road he walks alone, along with broken dreams.
Slo–oh’o–Joe, Slo–oh’o–Joe,
You’ve, no, place, left, to, go.
(Whispering in background while chorus repeats)
Afghanistan, no. Ukraine, no. Southern border, hell no.
Nowhere. Left. To. Go.
No Joke.
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