ITEM 1: X reported, “Trump touted secure borders, steady wages, and an economic boom ahead, crediting tariffs for surprise revenue that funds the $2.5 billion one-time payment—$1,776 each to active-duty personnel and qualifying reserves.”
That’s the spirit! The checks already are posting.
ITEM 2: NBC reported, “Rep. Ilhan Omar says her son was pulled over by ICE agents in Minnesota.”
That means they stopped her nephew too.
ITEM 3: Derrick Evans tweeted, “The U.S. federal government has lost 271,000 workers since President Trump took office.”
I hope they are never found.
ITEM 4: Breitbart News tweeted, “A woman is accused of shoplifting in Hartford, Wisconsin, during a Shop With A Cop event at Walmart.”
She got mixed up. Next week is Boost With Mother Goose.
ITEM 5: Chile elected the son of a Nazi as its president.
Poland, you have been warned.
ITEM 6: Our favorite president said, “I’m doing what no politician of either party has ever done—standing up to the special interests to dramatically reduce the price of prescription drugs.”
Fact-Check: Actually, by blowing up speed boats, he’s reducing supply and raising prices for fentanyl.
ITEM 7: Ahead of Trump’s prime-time announcement about drugs, Media-ite reported, “‘War is Coming’: Tucker Carlson Says a Member of Congress Told Him What Trump Is Announcing Tonight.”
Must have been a member of Qatar’s congress.
ITEM 8: OANN tweeted, “Arkansas becomes the first state to drop PBS television services, citing financial concerns and federal funding cuts. Officials say the move ends the state’s $2.5 million annual membership dues to PBS.”
This will push Arkansas back into the 1950s. Can West Virginia tag along?
ITEM 9: CBS tweeted, “U.S. government admits role in deadly midair collision that killed 67 people near D.C. airport.”
I figured that out in January when the DEI pilot flew her helicopter into the plane.
ITEM 10: The Jeff Bezos Post tweeted, “Serbians handed in guns after two attacks. Montenegro said it would crack down on firearms. Sweden pledged to tighten gun laws. While gun-control measures divide politics in the U.S., they are a common response to mass killings in many countries.”
Australia banned guns after an attack. Now Australia will ban guns again after another attack.
ITEM 11: Breitbart reported, “All net job growth is going to native-born Americans as foreign-born employment continues to decline, a new jobs report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics issued on Tuesday reveals.”
Americans. Doing the jobs illegal aliens no longer can do.
ITEM 12: A shooter killed two students and wounded nine others during final exams at Brown University. For once, the press is upset.
Reporter: Why didn’t the siren emergency system go off?
Brown University President: “That’s not a system we would ever use in the case of an active shooter.”
Reporter: “It does say on the website that it is for an active shooter.”
Brown University President: “It depends on the circumstances.”
Brown is the poison ivy of the Ivy League.
ITEM 13: Rhode Island cops couldn’t find a needle in a needle stack.
Eventually, the killer solved the case by committing suicide.
ITEM 14: Fox tweeted, Minnesota “Attorney General Keith Ellison announced a settlement on Tuesday with Kia and Hyundai over anti-theft issues with their vehicles that led to those vehicles being associated with countless crimes in the Twin Cities and beyond.”
Next, Ellison will sue the families of murder victims because their relatives were associated with crimes.
ITEM 15: This Is Money reported, “Rolls-Royce in jet engine snub to Labour: Engineering giant threatens to move project to U.S. or Germany.”
That’s the way big business Rolls.
ITEM 16: Defiant L’s tweeted, “Stephen A. Smith reacted to Trump targeting DEI, “They say they want the most qualified, but what they’re really saying is, ‘We want white dominance.’”
So Smith must want black dominance, right?
ITEM 17: Ron Howard tweeted with a video, “James Woods Tears Up Over ‘Infuriating’ Remarks About ‘Patriot’ Rob Reiner: ‘Because You Disagree With People, Doesn’t Mean You Have to Hate People.’”
And yet Reiner hated Trump and every one of his supporters.
ITEM 18: Moscow, December 2025. The Russians are still 50 years behind us.
Lucky bastards.
ITEM 19: AP reported, “Ford scraps fully-electric F-150 Lightning as mounting losses and falling demand hits EV plans.”
This happens when the government orders you to build stuff nobody wants.
ITEM 20: NBC tweeted, “Two nonprofit groups launch an ad campaign offering legal information and confidential advice to help U.S. troops who believe they may have received unlawful orders.”
Drill sergeants gave me illegal orders when they told me to drop down and give them 20. Can I sue?
ITEM 21: AP reported, “President Donald Trump filed a lawsuit Monday seeking $10 billion in damages from the BBC, accusing the British broadcaster of defamation as well as deceptive and unfair trade practices.”
BBC suffers TDS.
ITEM 22: BBC reported, “Canada’s population drops as country caps immigration.”
Big news—if true.
ITEM 23: Defiant L’s tweeted, “Hungary has moved to criminalize NGO and other groups who assist illegal migrants. Naming it the Stop Soros law.”
More like Stop The Invasion. The last time Hungary had to fight anti-Semitic invaders was in World War II.
ITEM 24: Piers Morgan tweeted on X, “Is it just me, or is this platform being over-run by horribly abusive trolls? So many friends of mine have had enough of it, and stopped using X.”
The next tweet in my timeline quoted James Carville on Trump: “I wouldn’t piss down his g-damned throat if his heart was on fire.”
ITEM 25: Alanis Morissette said, “I don’t want a narcissist or a sociopath or a psychopath in a position of leadership political or otherwise.”
Finally, someone in entertainment speaks out against Obama.
ITEM 26: Ontario PM Doug Ford announced Canada will pour billions in investment to turn Niagara Falls into the Las Vegas of the North mega casinos, a new theme park, and a plan to double tourism.
Ford’s economic model is a Las Vegas that suffers high unemployment as online competition and casinos in other states cut into the market. Maybe he can start a newspaper while he’s at it.
ITEM 27: CBS reported, “Milwaukee judge found guilty on obstruction charge after allegedly helping migrant evade arrest.”
The happy ending is ICE deported the man she tried to hide. No Juan is above the law.
ITEM 28: CNBC reported, “Kennedy Center to be renamed ‘Trump-Kennedy Center,’ White House says.”
To appease the Kennedy family a bridge in Chappaquiddick will be renamed the Ted Kennedy Bridge.
ITEM 29: I would have sold naming rights. Maybe Michael & Son Services—the biggest plumbing/HVAC/electrical firm in DC with 654 employees. It would become the Michael & Son Center for the Performing Arts.
When you need a plumber, hire a pro. Nixon hired amateurs and look what happened to him.
ITEM 30: USA Today tweeted, “Jimmy Kimmel says ‘no one respects’ Trump and ‘world is laughing at him.’”
Oddly enough no one respects Kimmel and no one laughs at his jokes.
ITEM 31: Dov Kleiman tweeted, “Heartbreaking: Rams star WR Puka Nacua revealed that he CANNOT AFFORD to buy a home in Los Angeles and has to rent an apartment.
“Nacua will make only $1 million this year; he has to pay $520,000 in taxes and comes home with $480k.
“The NFL needs to raise rookie contract pay.”
No. California needs to cut taxes.
ITEM 32: The New York Times buried this in Paragraph 12 of a story on how Epstein and Trump were besties:
Over the years, Mr. Epstein or his partner, Ghislaine Maxwell, introduced at least six women who have accused them of grooming or abuse to Mr. Trump, according to interviews, court testimony and other records. One was a minor at the time. None have accused Mr. Trump himself of inappropriate behavior.
Ah, but what about these 4 girls?
 |
ITEM 33: The war on drugs has Maduro looking for the exit. The U.S. needs a replacement.
Magills tweeted, “Okay, you got this, Marco Rubio. You always wanted to be president, just never thought it would be of Venezuela.”
ITEM 34: People magazine reported, “Landman: Billy Bob Thornton Describes The View as a ‘Bunch of Pissed Off Millionaires Bitching About’ President Donald Trump.”
The women are angry because he won’t date them.
ITEM 35: Democrat Mitt Romney wrote in the New York Times, “Tax the Rich, Like Me.”
Someone please tell Mittens you can legally donate your money to the government. I did.
ITEM 36: Kaitlan Collins said, “When Biden first took office in 2020, the NYT wrote a story about how quiet the weekends were because for reporters, every weekend had just been, like a seven-day work week. And now we’re back to that.”
Trump is making reporters work 80 hour weeks like he has done since he was 16.
ITEM 37: Mike Netter tweeted, “A growing dispute is unfolding as some Muslim immigrant business owners across the U.S. warn they may shut down gas stations, laundromats, and car washes, saying they no longer feel safe operating their businesses. Several owners claim they are considering pulling their investments and returning to their countries of origin, citing fear and backlash they say intensified after President Trump announced new safety and vetting measures targeting a small group of high-risk countries.”
This is devastating news. Without the Muslims, who will defraud Minnesota and kick back money to Democrats?
 |
ITEM 38: NYT reported, “R.F.K. Jr. Likely to Swap U.S. Childhood Vaccine Schedule for Denmark’s”:
The shift would mean fewer shots recommended for children. But a Danish health official found the idea baffling, saying the United States was getting “crazier and crazier in public health.”
What is the problem? I thought the socialists wanted us to adopt the European health system.
ITEM 39: Kurt Schlichter tweeted, “They are madder at the guy Reiner slandered for a decade than at the guy who murdered Reiner.”
This article first appeared on Don Surber’s Substack. Reprinted here with permission.
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