Humanity, Humility and Humiliation; The PM/Restocking Manager at the Chesapeake, VA Walmart store, killed six of his co-workers…and then himself. All of us on the outside of the story are shocked. Maybe…for a day or two. But then we move on to the next shooting, the next liar on Wall Street, the next political battle in Congress, or the next fall out from the far reaching, systemic corruption in Washington, D.C.. We all pay our taxes and fund a government that is too big to succeed and too self-interested to ever care one whiff about any of us…the people who pay for EVERYTHING. But I digress.
How many of the readers have ever worked a retail job? How many of the readers have ever worked at Walmart? How many of the readers are African American? How many of the readers have felt humiliation…so profound, you really don’t care what you do next? One would think that if an American of any color/creed were raised by two loving parents, in a normal family and normal community, perhaps that American can figure out that “humiliation” can happen to anyone…at any time for any reason. But if you let said humiliation consume you, that would be your choice. My Mom called it “free will.” Come to think of it, I haven’t heard anyone use the term “free will” in quite some time. Have you?
I am not African American, but I’ve spent enough time among African Americans to witness said “humiliation.” I have not worked at Walmart, but I have worked retail for a big international company and I do know what “humiliation” feels like. I had college and grad school classmates approach me at my retail job and say straight to my face, “what happened to you!” I had women who once socialized with me…until they found out I worked retail! I learned very quickly that any routine banter between the sexes that one might experience anywhere in our culture is no longer permitted when you are a “lowly” retail worker. I know this is true because my retail bosses told me so! You can get fired for that! But the humiliation did not consume me. Why? I had fellow male workers who experienced the exact same thing. Our collective reaction pointed to a well-grounded optimism that “this too shall pass.” Further, I have enough business ventures and creative outlets to have a healthy focus on “the future.” But what if I felt like I did not have a future? More on that later.
From the above picture, one wonders where and why this picture was taken. Andre Bing was a well groomed young man who clearly cared about his appearance. Are there any smiling pictures of Andre Bing? Or did the Virginia DMV picture display just enough “hostility” to make Andre Bing look like yet one more, “angry black man.” Walmart clearly saw enough in Andre to make the 31 year-old a manager among his peers. Walmart doesn’t give just anyone responsibility over their employees. So what went wrong with Andre? Well…he told us what went wrong in a note that was preserved on his phone.
In the rambling screed, Bing said he was offended because his coworkers compared him to serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer. “I would never have killed anyone that entered my home,” he said, calling his fellow employees “idiots with low intelligence” who tormented him with what he described as “evil twisted grins.” “Sorry God I’ve failed you, this was not your fault but my own,” he wrote. “I failed to listen to the groans of the holy spirit which made me a poor representation of You.” “My only wish would have been to start over from scratch and that my parents would have paid closer attention to my social deficits…Sorry everyone but I did not plan this, I promise things just fell in place like I was led by the Satan.”
Was it Brian Pendleton (38) and Lorenzo Gamble (43), both overnight Custodians who teased Andre? Could be. Was the younger Andre (31) promoted past them and they were both pissed off? Could be. What role did Tyneka Johnson (22) play in this? Would Tyneka tease her 31 year old manager? Maybe…but unlikely. More likely, Brian, Lorenzo and Andre all wanted to date Tyneka. To curry favor with Tynkea, did Brian and Lorenzo “gang up” on Andre? All speculation…but it is not a stretch. It is very, very unlikely that Randy Blevins (70), Kellie Pyle (52) and Fernando Chavez-Baron (16) would compare their new manager to Jeffrey Dahmer…right? Either those three were shot because they witnessed the shooting, or because they “looked the other way” while the teasing became part of the evening’s “routine.” All that…or Andre was “just another angry black man…who acted out.” Or was this all SATAN’s doing? What does the reader think?
To unpack the “murder/suicide note,” Andre clearly had enough “church going” to reference God, the Holy Spirit, and Satan. Of course CNN, MSNBC and other liberal media outlets would not ever get into such a conversation about the “fallen nature” of humanity and how we must be CAREFUL to not engage the evil that permeates our world. To this point, is there SOME OTHER REASON why so many black youths are busy killing each other daily on the streets of big U.S. cities? What OTHER factors besides “evil” could be in play? Well, here are two…to chew on.
Defense. The Streets of Chicago are run by African American gangs. The older members use the younger members to sell drugs and guns, commit robberies and murders…because minors don’t face the same harsh justice as adults. If you grow up in certain neighborhoods and don’t join a gang, you will probably have to move out of that neighborhood. And who has the money to do that? There are more than a few You-Tube videos where the young man just graduates from high school, and while still in his graduation gown, receives his first gun from his new gang.
Humiliation. First…some background. Between sophomore and junior year, I transferred from my public high school to a boarding school in another state. But I was friendly with my football and basketball teammates from back home. Many of my old mates would play basketball at one particular suburban playground. This park had two basketball courts, both with lights for evening play. On summer nights, the ice cream truck would visit and so would the girls. Back in the 1970’s and 80’s I was the only white guy (Euro) who played hoops at this park. A game at this park was not a casual affair. Routinely cars from neighboring counties would show up. If a car pulled up and five guys got out, they were from West Philly High, Overbrook High, North Penn High, Norristown High…you get the picture.
To be sure, THOSE games were called “Pride Games.” Since I am the token Euro, I was not to be called on to play in a game/war to “defend the park.” In the Summer of 1984, the Villanova Varsity pulled up to play. But it was only 2PM and no “A Team” players were around. Me and four “B Teamers” beat the Villanova Varsity by five. The next Spring, that same Villanova team won the NCAA title (1985). Technically speaking the ‘Nova beat down was a “Pride Game.” But since absolutely NO ONE saw it, it did not really count. But there was one Saturday, on Mother’s Day Weekend 1989, when Norristown showed up. Since one of the Park’s “A Team” (i.e. Division 1 players from Texas Abilene, Norfolk State, SMU and Cornell) was not available, I was asked to play! With about FIFTY people watching, I performed well and we won. I only tell those two stories to tell this one.
Near the end of the summer of 1986, I brought myself and four Euro friends to that same park. The five of us are basketball “schmoes” who would play well into our 20’s, 30’s, 40’s and 50’s. We would play very competitive ball whenever the opportunity presents itself. The same trash talk and not so friendly banter would result from any competitive situation. But believe me, we did not talk trash in any game we played at the “black park.” We knew we were “outsiders” and we comported ourselves that way. But after the second win in a row, the third game would get intense. Why? Was this a “Pride Game” and the locals were not meeting their implied duties? Maybe. But I thought it had more to do with the girls who were the “witness” to the losses…and more importantly, to the “local losers.” The girls teased the boys without any thought of the outcome.
To this point, think about the stories you hear that lead the 11 PM local news. Every weekend, doesn’t someone get shot outside of a bar…late at night? Does the reader think someone accidentally spilled a drink on another? Or could it be someone felt humiliated, and somewhere in the mix, there was a woman involved? To this point, back when there were just a few hundred agents (think Pre- “Jerry Maguire” movie days), I was an NFL Agent. For ten years, I would routinely tell my players nothing good happens after 2AM. I and many other agents, made FOUR POINTS, with great emphasis:
- “Don’t buy gaudy expensive jewelry and automobiles. You are painting a target on your back for thieves and gold diggers.”
- “Stay away from women you do not know. They KNOW when they are ovulating. They will get you drunk, have sex with you and then birth your baby. Once that happens, the woman will file a paternity suit and secure 20% of your income for the next 18 years. Even if you survive the league and get a second contract, after local, state and federal taxes, and the lost income of eighteen years PER BABY …you could be more BROKE than you were in college. Your career is over, your money is gone and you will still owe on your house, your cars and your parent’s house, their cars and YOUR BABIES.”
- “When you got out with your friends, do not drive your own car. Call a cab and leave before closing time.”
- “Don’t argue with fools. Because if you do, the fool will want to challenge you to show his girl how tough he is. Walk away…you have a future, the fool does not.”
Beer Goggles aside, bourbon can easily cloud anyone’s judgement…and so does humiliation. Did the girls teasing the boys at the park, stop and think about the damage they were doing to the same boys they had known their entire lives? Did the boys have the required coping skills to deal with the humiliation being dolled out by the thoughtless girls? Most did…but one did not. The tallest player made it very plain to us that he is going to his car and “will be back.” None of us stayed to find out what “will be back” meant.
In our tragic story from Chesapeake, VA, Andre Bing probably gave warning signs of the growing humiliation he felt at work. But no one paid any mind of what boiled below the surface. Did Andre reach out to his parents? Did Andre reach out to the Walmart manager who hired him? Did Andre reach out to his parish priest? Were there signs that were missed by everyone in his orbit? I will take a flyer on this and say yes.
We haven’t discussed what part historic discrimination/slavery played in the Bing tragedy. Most Euros will say, “but that was 200 years ago.” In response, most Africans will reply, “Wrong. Slavery was institutional racism for 246 years, with another 100 years of Jim Crow Laws. Systemic racism in the U.S. was legal until 1965.” That said, we are but two generations removed from systemic racism in our country. Will it take another twelve generations to finally feel like we can “get along?” After the nationwide violence and looting that took place after the murder of George Floyd…it might take twelve generations to overcome slavery.
Fourteen GENERATIONS of systemic RACISM is the SCAR on the personality of our country. To compare institutionalized racism of Africans in our country to anyone else’s experience is UNDOABLE. For example, for 300 years, my Irish-Catholic ancestors experienced systemic racism at the hands of the English. When the potato famine hit, we escaped Ireland and the English and came to the U.S.. And what happened then? To earn our citizenship, the U.S. government gave the Irish guns to go fight the Civil War. Similarly, newly freed African slaves were offered benefits if they too would go fight in the Civil War. But when the war was over, did Africans find a “new homeland?” Like European immigrants, did Africans flee their home country’s oppression? Nope.
Marcus Garvey and others started a “Back to Africa” movement…but it didn’t last. Freed slaves had no idea what their home country was. They had no knowledge of their African tribe, family or religion. That’s what happens when you are kidnapped from your village and bought, sold and bred like cattle. In other words, the humiliation of slavery is hard to shake for African victims and European perpetrators. Anyone with deep knowledge of the real history of the United States knows this is true. But things may be worse TODAY than ever before. Why?
What role has Social Media assumed in our country’s collective tragedy? If we are not part of the FABULOUS world presented by Facebook, Instagram and Tik Tok, are we losers, not invited to the party? To this point, the school shooter in Uvalde, TX was communicating on-line with a pretty, rich girl in California. To curry favor with the “influencer,” he displayed his newly purchased ammo and automatic weapon. He TOLD HER, he killed his grandmother and was going to shoot up a school! How many active shooters have gone live on-line during their heinous act? Today, thanks to social media, anyone can be live on the internet to secure their 15 seconds of fame, no matter how that fame is procured. To this point, I will make a little leap here, but not very far. Stick with me…I will steer this back to Andre Bing’s tragedy.
Let us say you are a male, born in 20th Century China and you come of age in the 21st Century. Unfortunately for you, the Communist Party banned multiple births among married couples. But the couples were given the choice to legally abort the less desired female babies. So lucky you…you are a boy and you were born.
If you were smart, you got into University…but perhaps you didn’t get into the RIGHT University, and therefore, you didn’t get the job you wanted. Your parents are not connected with the Communist Party. Or you didn’t get into University and you now work in a factory, making something to be sold in Paris, Milan, New York, etc. But here’s the rub…you can’t find a girlfriend/future wife!
A generation after the “only one child” and “make it any sex you want”…there are not enough girls! You are one of 31 MILLION Chinese males who cannot find a spouse/mate. Without a wife, you have “no partner” and no one to co- parent with you. In other words, you have no family of your own…and YOU HAVE NO FUTURE. There will be no children or grandchildren to take care of you in your old age. You will die alone.
How long will it be before you feel compelled to join the Army and invade another country, simply because you don’t have anything better to do? Afterall, there are more single women available in Taiwan, Vietnam, etc. …than there are in mainland China.
To be sure, the Chinese Communist Party knows full well they have a serious demographic problem. So they, like the U.S. military, opened up recruitment to women…to help attract more men! And look, they even put the marching women in skirts! You can’t make this stuff up!
To compare and contrast Chesapeake, VA with Anytown, China, Andre Bing had a way better shot at a FUTURE than many young Chinese men. How many of the 31 MILLION CHINESE MEN would want a 40 hour a week job at a Walmart in coastal Virginia? How many would want to work with peers who were women? And when you are not at work, you can munch on hot dogs and beer on the boardwalk at nearby Virginia Beach. And in the Spring, Summer and Fall…the women are walking on the boardwalk and best of all…at the Beach, and they are looking really good! Doesn’t sound half bad does it? But Andre didn’t see things that way.
Why was Andre not optimistic?
Why was Andre consumed with humiliation?
Why did Andre lack the coping mechanisms required to survive on our barbaric planet?
Andre’s letter implies his parents failed to recognize his “social deficits” and therefore they were culpable for his dark path and his acting out. Maybe. Were there long discussions of “temptation,” and “free will” in the Bing household? How often was “responsible” and “accountable” discussed?
When my children were young and they did some thing they thought was “wrong,” they would routinely say, “Papa, don’t tell Mommy.” I would reply, “I won’t tell her…because you will.” I raised my children to be responsible and accountable. To close the commentary:
just because you want a gun, doesn’t mean you should buy a gun
just because you bought a gun, doesn’t mean you should carry the gun on your person
just because you carry the gun around, doesn’t mean you should point the gun at someone
just because you point the gun at someone, doesn’t mean you should pull the trigger
just because you pulled the trigger, doesn’t mean you should kill someone.
Five moments of “free will”, five moments of humanity, lost in the darkness of humiliation
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“Sorry everyone but I did not plan this, I promise things just fell in place like I was led by the Satan.” Like I was led by Satan.
He was blaming this on Satan, his parents for not teaching him enough, and on his peers. A very simple dark impulse on top of a probably very complicated and confused life.
It’s not my place to pass judgement on him, but if one cannot see a corrupted and confused man, setting aside any thoughts about race which should be set aside, when you look at the fact that we have only one point of view to base any judgement on, it’s throwing darts at a dart board made of rock.
He made choices. He was an adult. He was also a flawed man. We are all flawed. His choices suggest to me that he had a religious background, and if his note was genuine, he still had not reached a mature enough level to deal with what society can throw at you. And then went to a dark place, still unsure, and, in my opinion went to blaming it on Satan, which is fine with Satan because the deed was then done. He was incapable of facing man’s judgement, by the act of killing himself. That kind of made his last act, one of damnation, and not of repentance, but that is best left up to his Creator.
Satan knows God’s Law better than we do, and he confuses those who are weak into performing acts of evil by deception and temptation.
All I can think of is to say that the best we will ever do, to right all the wrongs that happen to men, is to walk the straight and narrow path, and to show those the way who are weak. There are not enough who walk that straight and narrow path, to set the example for more to walk it with them.
Perhaps the only difference between Andre and I is that I was raised in a family who gave me a foundation to live by, and his was a bit less solid. But when we play the game of blame, we always seem to go back to one set of circumstances, being his parents, and not their parents and so on. I’ll bet that there are more than one problem that may never be found that could possibly explain why he did this.
I have had some very dark impulses in my life. Maybe the answer to why I didn’t act on them can be found by my being taught the difference between good and evil, and a profound fear of the punishment that would await me. And as Bonhoeffer, Solzhenitsyn and others have said, if you fear God, you have no need to fear man, said in their own ways. But that also exposes the difference between the one who is instructed and the one is isn’t, in the ways of the Commandments.
It’s that foundation that ensures making the choice between good and evil a right one.
One thing that is bothersome is that he blamed it on Satan, when he might have made an attempt at repentance. Then he killed himself.
Perhaps it is humiliation, but I would rather say that he is more a product of the society he was surrounded by, and in many ways, we are all a part of that.
““People speak sometimes about the “bestial” cruelty of man, but that is terribly unjust and offensive to beasts, no animal could ever be so cruel as a man, so artfully, so artistically cruel.”
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky
There are those who are so cruel, and don’t even realize how cruel they are, when it comes to treating thy neighbor. Then, there are those who do know just how cruel they are, and they are the ones who rejoice in it.
Walk that straight and narrow path. That’s the best we can do. Even that tells us that we are still fallen, until we take out the trash of the society that we created.
Perhaps just as important as the note left by Mr. Bing is the circumstance of whom he chose not to shoot, and told her to leave the break room.
Yeh, that throws in another thing to chew on, about the idea that someone was ridiculing and she might have been an innocent, for lack of a better word. It would be interesting to hear what she has to say.