ITEM 1: “A skyscraper went into space, returned to earth, and parallel parked.” — Sylvia Smith.
Musk passed his driver’s license test.
ITEM 2: The Daily Beast reported, “Transgender Models Make History at Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.”
The secret now is what is under the underwear.
ITEM 3: Israel ended its war this week.
ITEM 4: The Atlantic reported, “Trump Is Speaking Like Hitler, Stalin, and Mussolini.”
I’m impressed that he speaks German, Russian and Italian.
ITEM 5: Using DNA, scientists have determined that Christopher Columbus was Jewish.
This makes Columbus Day the first Jewish holiday celebrated in the USA. I’ll gladly give up bacon one day a year for Ole Chris.
ITEM 6: Kamala Harris on Columbus Day, “European explorers ushered in a wave of devastation, violence, stealing land, and widespread disease.”
She has them confused with the illegal aliens she let in.
ITEM 7: Sprinter News tweeted, “American President Joseph Biden publicly humiliated Vladimir Zelensky by planning a visit to Germany almost immediately after canceling the meeting in Ramstein, said British expert Alexander Mercuris.
“He said, ‘Washington plans to humiliate Zelensky in the worst possible way. Biden cancels the meeting in Ramstein, and then plans to go to Germany, but for completely different reasons. This is the clearest signal that the Americans have had enough and are leaving. For them, the Ukraine project is over, and the head of the Kyiv regime and his compatriots were left alone.’ ”
Bribes collected, Ukraine kicked to the curb.
ITEM 8: CBS reported, “Jimmy Carter votes in Georgia, fulfilling wish to cast ballot for Harris.”
In a few months, he’ll become a permanent Democrat voter.
ITEM 9: The Prime Minister of Israel tweeted, “A reminder to the French President: It was not a UN decision that established the State of Israel but the victory that was achieved in the War of Independence with the blood of our heroic fighters, many of whom were Holocaust survivors, including from the Vichy regime in France.”
It is one thing to surrender. It is another to surrender and say here, take the Jews too.
ITEM 10: Joe Biden said, “She beat Trump so badly in the debate, he’s scared to death to beat her again.”
The passive-aggressive Joe is the best Joe.
ITEM 11: Kamala went on Fox to be interviewed by Bret “Panda” Baier. It went worse than expected.
Benny Johnson tweeted, “Bret Baier says Kamala’s staff was urgently requesting to end the interview: ‘I’m talking, like four people, waving their hands like, ‘It’s gotta stop!’ ”
Putin and Xi still are all-in for her.
ITEM 12: John Hasson tweeted, “Kamala claims in this clip that she prosecuted the Guadalajara cartel. But she became a deputy prosecutor in 1990, which is AFTER the cartel fell apart.”
Be that as it may be, she still nailed Al Capone and Don Corleone, right?
ITEM 13: Breaking911 tweeted, “The Small Business Administration has run out of money to help hurricane victims.”
How convenient when so many red states are underwater.
Meanwhile, the agencies that put illegal aliens in luxury hotels never will run out of money as they are better financed than Ukraine.
ITEM 14: Iran International English tweeted, “The fire at Iran’s Petro Shushtar refinery erupted after a tank truck collided with petroleum tanks, the governor of Shushtar said.”
Was the tank truck driver Mohammed Saad? Mo Saad for short.
ITEM 15: The Jeff Bezos Post reported, “Researchers are using AI technology to capture wolves’ howls and their locations in Yellowstone National Park, to help prevent them from being shot.”
From importing assassins to open borders to Venezuelan gangs, is there no threat to our lives and livelihoods that this government does not embrace? We need a government to protect us from the government.
ITEM 16: The Hill reported, “Obama faces backlash for comments toward black men.”
His race card expired 10 years ago.
ITEM 17: Real Clear Investigations reported, “When the FBI originally released the final crime data for 2022 in September 2023, it reported that the nation’s violent crime rate fell by 2.1%. This quickly became, and remains, a Democrat Party talking point to counter Donald Trump’s claims of soaring crime.”
How did the government achieve this drop in crime? The FBI report left out 1,689 murders and around 80,000 violent crimes as the crime wave surged 4.5%.
ITEM 18: The story said, “The FBI isn’t the only government agency that has been revising its data. The Bureau of Labor Statistics massively overestimated the number of jobs created during the year that ended in March by 818,000 people.”
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and anything the deep state says.
ITEM 19: Grok tweeted, “At Ethel Kennedy’s memorial service held on October 16, 2024, at the Cathedral of St. Matthew the Apostle in Washington, D.C., there was notable attention drawn to interactions among high-profile attendees, particularly involving former President Barack Obama and President Joe Biden. According to posts on X, Obama appeared visibly upset with Biden, leading to speculation about the nature of their conversation. This exchange was observed during a time when the memorial service was honoring Ethel Kennedy, who passed away at the age of 96.”
Keep it classy, Democrats.
ITEM 20: The College Fix reported, “Transgender coach, rehired due to ‘transphobia’ concerns, resigns after porn video surfaces.”
Of course he made a video. His sole identity is his sex. The only surprise was it was with an adult human.
ITEM 21: Trump attended the annual Al Smith fundraising dinner. Kamala didn’t attend but Trump provided enough laughs for two.
Trump said, “There’s a group called White Dudes for Harris but I’m not worried about them at all, because their wives and their wives’ lovers are all voting for me.”
And, “Unfortunately, Governor Walz isn’t here himself. But don’t worry, he’ll say that he was.”
And, “If the Democrats really wanted to have someone not be with us this evening, they would have sent Joe Biden.”
And, “Well, I had better wrap up, because Mayor Adams told me earlier that I needed to make this one very quick. The city has reserved this room for a large group of illegal aliens coming in from Texas.”
ITEM 22: Market Watch reported, “The Dow Jones Industrial Average’s strong year-to-date return translates to a 72% probability that the Democratic candidate, Vice President Kamala Harris, will win the presidential election in November.”
My Ouija board says Jill Stein.
ITEM 23: USA Today reported, “How a ‘horrible perfect storm’ fueled a 65% increase in homicides committed by kids.”
Electing Democrat mayors, do-nothing prosecutors and letting in millions of teenagers — “kids” — created a perfect storm all right.
ITEM 24: Breitbart Politics reported, “Trump-Vance Now Seen More Favorable and Caring than Harris-Walz.”
Caring about Americans instead of criminal alien lives matters.
ITEM 25: 538 capitulates and for the first time in three elections makes Trump the favorite as TIPP Insights cut Kamala’s lead to 2 points.
Don’t get cocky. 538’s final forecast gave Hillary a 71% chance of winning in 2016.
ITEM 26: AP reported, “Cuba’s grid goes offline amid a massive blackout and after a major power plant fails.”
The story said, “Various calls by The Associated Press seeking to clarify the extent of the blackout on Friday weren’t answered. In addition to the Antonio Guiteras plant, Cuba has several others and it wasn’t immediately clear whether or not they remain functional.”
Communism. Stopping climate change, one third world country at a time.”
ITEM 27: Greg Price tweeted, “Hamtramck, Michigan, is the only Muslim majority city in America. The city’s Mayor, Amer Ghalib, endorsed President Trump and just presented him with a certificate of appreciation.”
They love him in Riyadh, too.
ITEM 28: The University of Virginia’s Gretchen Walsh set three women’s swimming records in a meet last night.
And she did it with an automatic transmission, and not a stick shift.
ITEM 29: AP tweeted, “New York City’s $4 billion shelter system rife with mismanagement, nepotism, investigators say.”
That was the real purpose of the shelters.
ITEM 30: Just the News tweeted, “Harvard sees $150 million drop in donations for 2024 fiscal year amid backlash for anti-Semitic protests.”
Sinwar’s war is doing to American universities what Dylan Mulvaney did to Bud Light.
ITEM 31: Vanity Fair tweeted, “A second Trump presidency could mark the end of something we certainly don’t want to lose: democracy as we know it.”
We, who?
ITEM 32: The New York Post reported, “WNBA will lose $40 million this season and its NBA investors are growing impatient.”
The league is a scam designed to pay high salaries to non-players. But record sellouts and interest this year have shined the light on this. The IRS may want to see if it was just a tax shelter for the NBA.
Wasn’t this the plot Mel Brooks used in The Producers?
This article first appeared on Don Surber’s Substack. Reprinted here with permission.
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