ITEM 1: ICE has solved LA’s traffic problems at rush hour, taking thousands of cars off the roads.
Wow, Trump is solving climate change too.
ITEM 2: NPR said, “Kerr County struggled to fund flood warnings. Under Trump, it’s getting even harder.”
No problem. Defund NPR and give the money to fund flood warnings.
ITEM 3: Breitbart reported, “Sen. Jim Banks (R-IN) has placed a hold on the promotion of an Air Force colonel advocating for military promotions based on race and gender, not merit.”
The colonel is a white male so he should be happy. By denying him a promotion, Banks is doing what the colonel advocates.
ITEM 4: Charlie Kirk tweeted:
Net job gains/losses since January:
American-born workers + 2,000,000
Foreign-born workers (-) 543,000
Americans are doing the jobs illegal aliens won’t do.
ITEM 5: NBC tweeted, “The AI chatbot Grok, which is produced by Elon Musk’s xAI, wrote numerous anti-Semitic social media posts Tuesday after the artificial intelligence company released a revamped version of it over the weekend.”
Grok got accepted to Columbia?
ITEM 6: Peter St Onge, Ph.D., tweeted, “Pharmaceutical ads could be banned from television. CNN says it could cripple them.”
It’s a two-fer. It fights drug pushers and CNN.
ITEM 7: Jasmine Crockett on the Texas flood, “The sad part is how this impacts me.”
Oh how she suffered. She was out of the news for 3 days—3 whole days.
ITEM 8: The New York Post tweeted, “State Department cuts over 1,300 staffers as part of sweeping overhaul.”
Judging by the accompanying photos, it was a weeping overhaul.
It sucks but better things will happen if you hire yourself and move forward.
ITEM 9: Mike Pence: “I mostly heard people saying—we want to get back to what the Trump-Pence administration was advancing.”
The White Jasmine.
ITEM 10: Looking for a job?
That’s it. I ate my last Dave’s Single.
ITEM 11: The Washington Post reported, “Social Security pulls field office staff to answer overwhelmed phone line.”
How dare that Orange Man make the staff answer the phone.
ITEM 12: Dr Strangetweet or How I Learned to Love the RT tweeted:
“Superman is an immigrant!”
Okay, fine. If an immigrant can fly and rescue people, he can stay. If not, he needs to go.
I am so glad that I grew up in a time when the big question was who is more powerful Superman or Mighty Mouse?
ITEM 13: Tish James tweeted, “No one should fear being questioned, detained, or deported by unidentified masked agents when taking their kid to school, going to work, or attending church.”
No one should fear being sued for taking out a loan and paying it back with interest.
ITEM 14: Scott Bessent said, “We will be taking about $100 billion in tariff income thus far this year, and that’s with the major tariffs not having started until the second quarter—so we could expect that that could be well over $300 billion by the end of the year.”
That’s $3 trillion over 10 years. Looks like the national debt will stop growing. Of course, I said the same thing about kudzu.
ITEM 15: Muslim podcaster Kareem Rahma interviewed Kamala last fall. She told him bacon is a spice. Things went downhill from there.
He did not release the interview because he did not want to be blamed for her trainwreck on Election Night. Good move.
ITEM 16: CBS reported, “The Secret Service suspended six personnel without pay as the agency faced intense scrutiny after the assassination attempt against President Trump in Butler, Pennsylvania, nearly a year ago.”
Wow, it only took a year to do what they should have done on the Monday after the attempt.
ITEM 17: Then: We’ll live in West Virginia a few years and then move back to Cleveland.
Now: Return? I ain’t empty old RC bottle.
ITEM 18: Troublemaker Stephen Moore tweeted:
Top 5 states people are leaving the fastest? New Jersey, Illinois, New York, California, and Massachusetts.
No surprise they’re deep blue with high taxes.
Biggest inbound migration? West Virginia!
Instead of Welcome to Wild, Wonderful West Virginia, we need to post signs that say Move Along, Nothing To See Here.
ITEM 19: Joe Biden’s doctor took the Fifth Amendment when Congress asked him if he covered up the president’s senility.
This is all because Democrats refused last year to take the 25th Amendment.
ITEM 20: The New York Post reported, “Rock band with more than 1 million Spotify listeners reveals it’s entirely AI-generated—down to the musicians themselves.”
60 years ago TV didn’t need no AI to create The Monkees. They were pretty good, too.
ITEM 21: WLT Report reported, “President Trump Responds to Florida Renaming Road After Him.”
They ought to name this road in Philadelphia Democrat Drive.
ITEM 22: NBC tweeted, “Immigrants [illegal aliens] and their loved ones are denouncing what they allege are terrible conditions at the state-managed immigration detention facility in the Florida Everglades that officials have named Alligator Alcatraz.”
(In Andy Rooney voice) Ever notice that the media ignored the complaints of J6 detainees. I wonder why that is.
ITEM 23: Politico reported, “At least 2,145 senior-ranking NASA employees are set to leave under a push to shed staff, according to documents obtained by POLITICO — potentially spelling trouble for White House space policy and depriving the agency of decades of experience.”
The story also said, “The departures follow a proposed White House budget for 2026 that would slash NASA’s funding by 25 percent and cut over 5,000 staff. The cuts, if enacted by Congress, would force the agency to operate with the smallest budget and staff since the early 1960s.”
That small staff at NASA in the 1960s put men on the moon. This group left two astronauts in space for 8 months with no way down. Fortunately, Elon Musk came along and brought them home.
ITEM 24: National Economic Council Director Kevin Hassett said, “Now, it’s in the data that [tariffs] are not causing inflation. In fact, import prices are going down. Inflation right now is lower than its been, by every measure, in more than four years—and tariff revenue is through the roof.”
No inflation? Oh that’s just ducky. There goes my Social Security COLA raise next year.
ITEM 25: Fox reported, “Native Hawaiian man could face longer prison sentence after conviction for hate crime against white man.”
Kaulana Alo-Kaonohi appealed his 6 1/2-year sentence. Prosecutors counter-appealed. Sometimes you just take the L.
ITEM 26: Tyler Watt, Member of Provincial Parliament of Ontario, said, “10,000 layoffs. 600 college programs cut. Ontarians are ready to train for jobs in health care, clean energy, and advanced manufacturing, but Doug Ford’s cuts to colleges are shutting them out.”
Oh no. What will Canada do without Indigenous Studies?
ITEM 27: Elon Musk’s third party will be the end of MAGA.
REPORTER: “How do you feel about Elon Musk starting a new political party?”
SAM ALTMAN: “I haven’t had a chance to read about it … I was a Democrat for a long time, and I don’t generally feel represented by the sort of mainstream Democrats anymore.”
Mmm. Maybe not.
ITEM 28: The New York Post reported, “UN says millions will die by 2029 if HIV funding programs aren’t replaced.”
So replace them, you heartless bastards.
ITEM 29: Salena Zito tweeted, “Trump’s near-death experience in Butler is the foundational moment of his 2nd term. Not only did it galvanize people it’s also hard to separate the attack & the miraculous split-second turn of his head from the sense of urgency with which he’s governed.”
Tomorrow is the anniversary.
ITEM 30: The Babylon Bee tweeted, “Republicans Unveil Debt Plan: Transfer Balance To Capital One Credit Card With 0% Intro APR.”
Forget AI. I want the Babylon Bee to run the world.
ITEM 31: Karoline Leavitt tweeted, “Trump’s Education Department Ends Free Tuition For Illegals.”
So much for my plan to go back to college as an illegal alien.
ITEM 32: Steve Bannon said, “This is why Trump picked Sean Duffy as interim head of NASA. When everyone was worshipping Elmo Musk, Duffy called him a liar to his face about laying off air traffic controllers.
“Now that Duffy’s in the room, SpaceX contracts are about to get real scrutiny.”
Duffy is the transportation secretary. Starships are modes of transportation. Having him run NASA makes sense.
ITEM 33: The Telegraph reported, “Women who claimed Brigitte Macron was a man are cleared of defamation.”
Michelle is getting very nervous.
ITEM 34: The Daily Wire reported, “Pentagon Ditches Admiral Who Allowed Drag Queen Performances On Aircraft Carrier. Admiral Michael Donnelly was about to be promoted to his 3rd star and command the entire 7th fleet.”
Note to admirals: Don’t allow Brigitte Macron to board your ship.
This article first appeared on Don Surber’s Substack. Reprinted here with permission.
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Beat review! Thanks!