ITEM 1: Zero Hedge reported, “Super Flu Surging in 45 States, Doctor Visits Reach 30-year High and It’s Likely to Get Worse.”
It’s an offshoot of the Hong Kong Flu of 1968.
That’s right, soon everybody’ll be Kong Flu fighting.
ITEM 2: PJ Media reported, “Something Kind of Funny Happened in Caracas. It was apparently the Presidential Guard spotting unidentified flying objects overhead and unleashing hell upon them, probably thinking it was, indeed, the United States. But it was actually—wait for it—their own drones. These dudes were, by all accounts, shooting up their own equipment and wreaking havoc on the streets. You can’t make this stuff up.”
This is why Sheriff Taylor made Barney carry his bullet in his pocket.
ITEM 3: Jeff Bezos’ Washington Post reported, “U.S. reduces number of warships near Venezuela after Maduro raid.”
North to Havana, we go north, the gold rush is on.
ITEM 4: Roman Helmut Guy tweeted an oft-forgotten history, “The USA has a long history of not respecting Denmark’s rightful claim to Greenland. For example, when Denmark surrendered to the Nazis in just 6 hours, the USA refused to honor Nazi Denmark’s legitimate claim to it, instead illegally defending Greenland for the rest of the war.”
A little exaggeration. Germany didn’t want Greenland because there were no Jews there to send to concentration camps.
ITEM 5: Politico reported, “The Transportation Department is seeking to scrap the use of automated traffic enforcement cameras in Washington, a move that would cost the city millions in lost revenue but would likely be cheered by many drivers in the nation’s capital.”
It will decrease expenses for drivers.
ITEM 6: The Washington Free Beacon reported, “Michigan Senate Candidate Abdul El-Sayed Identified Himself as an Egyptian Citizen When He Became a Columbia Professor. Now His Campaign Says He ‘Made a Mistake.’”
Move over Senator Pocahontas. Here comes Senator King Tut. Born in Detroitlonia, moved to Ann Arborzona. Senator Tut.
ITEM 7: The Atlanta Fed announced, “The GDPNow model estimate for real GDP growth (seasonally adjusted annual rate) in the fourth quarter of 2025 is 5.4 percent on January 8, up from 2.7 percent on January 5.”
But the experts said deporting illegals and imposing tariffs would destroy our economy.
ITEM 8: Rupert Murdoch’s Wall Street Journal reported, “The U.S. trade deficit shrank dramatically in October to its lowest level since 2009, the Commerce Department said Thursday, an unexpected twist in a year of volatile trade flows that have been buffeted by the Trump administration’s steep tariffs.”
Unexpected means “darn it, Trump was right.”
ITEM 9: Fox reported, “President Donald Trump on Wednesday signed a presidential memorandum directing the U.S. to withdraw from 66 international organizations, ordering executive departments and agencies to cease participation in and funding of entities the administration says no longer serve U.S. interests.”
God’s got the whole world in His hands.
The whole world’s hands are in our pockets.
ITEM 10: Reuters reported, “Last spring, a group of officials from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services was drafting a proposal to halve the recommended limit for alcohol consumption for men to one drink a day, according to two former government sources and a document seen by Reuters.”
The Department of Leave Me the Hell Alone recommends no Nanny State recommendations a day.
ITEM 11: AP reported, “Venezuela released a number of imprisoned high-profile opposition figures, activists and journalists—both citizens and foreigners—Thursday in what the government described as a gesture to seek peace less than a week after former President Nicolás Maduro was captured by U.S. forces to face drug-trafficking charges.”
There goes Trump pardoning insurrectionists again.
ITEM 12: Bobby Kennedy Jr. released the new food pyramid.
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Oops, that isn’t the government’s. That’s mine.
ITEM 13: Legal Insurrection reported, “Audit Finds Minnesota DHS Produced False Documents In Behavioral Grant Program.”
No bid contracts. Back dated contracts. No documentation. Social justice mongers make far more money than war profiteers. Best of all, you can collect for daycare centers without children.
ITEM 14: The Korean Herald reported, “The final hearing in former President Yoon Suk Yeol’s insurrection trial got underway at a Seoul court Friday, with attention focused on whether prosecutors will seek the death penalty or life imprisonment.”
Well, he wanted to be president for life.
ITEM 15: The Middle East Eye reported, “The United Arab Emirates has restricted funding for citizens to study at British universities over tensions with the UK for its decision not to ban the Muslim Brotherhood as a terrorist organization.”
The British caliphate is too radical for UAE.
ITEM 16: Sure Trump arrested a dictator. Sure he nuked Iran’s nuke program. Sure his tariffs raised billions for the government and protected American companies. But what has Trump done to make housing more affordable, huh? Answer me that!
CNBC reported, “Mortgage rates drop to lowest level in nearly 3 years as Trump orders buying of $200 billion in mortgage bonds.”
Never mind.
ITEM 17: Politico reported, “The Republican-led House Oversight and Government Reform Committee is threatening to hold former President Bill Clinton and former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton in contempt of Congress if they fail to appear for closed-door depositions next week as part of the panel’s investigation into convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.”
I still maintain that contempt of Congress is more than a right; it is a patriotic duty.
ITEM 18: Still it would be nice to watch Hillary lie and sweat.
They can hold the hearing on the day after Presidents Day, which happens to be Not Your President Day.
ITEM 19: The Daily Mail reported, “Family member says Renee Nicole Good ‘should have minded her own business’ in Minneapolis ICE shooting.”
She should have learned to drive as well.
HEY GROK! “How far down is the Drudge Report traffic since its 2016-2019 peak?”
Grok replied, “From the 2016 peak: The drop is extreme when comparing peak monthly pageviews (~1.47B) to today’s ~35M visits (note: visits and pageviews aren’t identical metrics, but the scale shows a reduction of well over 95–98% in raw volume terms, factoring in high repeat visits during 2016).”
ITEM 20: On Monday, Colombian President Gustavo Petro challenged President Trump to arrest him.
When asked about overthrowing Petro, Trump said, “Sounds good to me.”
Colombian President Gustavo Petro said President Trump allowed him to speak for 40 of the 55 minutes of their first ever phone call, joking that he was “Latin American” while Trump was “very American, pragmatic.” Petro said the conversation gave him the opportunity to present a different perspective on drug trafficking and Venezuela, adding that during Trump’s 15 minutes, the U.S. president told him there have been “as many lies about you as there have been about me,” Petro told CBS News.
Petro must have realized that there is an empty jail cell next to Maduro.
ITEM 21: Kevin O’Leary aka Mr. Wonderful, tweeted:
Venezuelan heavy oil is back and yes, it’s hammering Canadian bitumen prices.
After a decade of pipeline paralysis, Canada has nowhere to send its oil except one route. Now Venezuela shows up with the same product and undercuts the market.
Here’s my prediction: that oil isn’t headed to Texas refineries, it’s going straight into the U.S. strategic reserve.
Let’s see, Maduro, Petro and now Carney—Trump is ridding our hemisphere of the commies.
ITEM 22: The Commerce Department tweeted:
Secretary Lutnick breaks down the historic Japan deal and how it benefits the American taxpayer by lowering the deficit:
“What we came up with was $550 billion. This is not foreign direct investment—it’s not Toyota building a factory in America. This is them financing any project we want to build in America. All the tariff money goes into the Treasury. It reduces our deficit and is essentially taxes paid by others.”
If that’s imperialism, then it is good to be an imperial. Just ask Little Anthony. He turned 85 this week.
ITEM 23: U-Haul announced, “U-Haul Growth Index: Texas Back on Top as No. 1 Growth State of 2025. Florida ranks 2nd for net gain of one-way customers; California last for sixth year in a row.”
Instead of building a high-speed railroad, Governor Brylcreem should build a wall to keep his citizens in.
ITEM 24: Polymarket tweeted, “France delays this year’s G7 summit to avoid conflict with UFC event planned at the White House on Donald Trump’s birthday.”
Qui est ton Daddè, Macron? And ne pas sayez votre spousé.
ITEM 25: Gateway Pundit reported, “Federal prosecutors have launched a new criminal investigation into New York Attorney General Letitia James over financial transactions with her longtime hairdresser, Iyesata Marsh. The New York Times and CBS reported that the new investigation, which is still in the early stages, is being led by the Northern District of New York and the Western District of Louisiana.
“Marsh was indicted by a grand jury in the Western District of Louisiana in December on charges of bank fraud and identity theft related to the purchase of a Land Rover.”
Tsk-tsk, Tish. Your tush is about to be indicted.
ITEM 26: On December 5, MSNBC reported, “Minneapolis police chief warns officers: Stop unlawful force by ICE or lose your job.”
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Last night, Julio Rosas tweeted, “Minneapolis Police, including Chief Brian O’Hara, were just chased down and attacked by anti-ICE rioters while escorting a squad car out of the protest area.”
Chief O’Hara foolishly thought the anarchists were going after ICE only. Maybe Commissioner Gordon will flip on the Bat Signal and have Batman save him again.
ITEM 27: Congressman Tim McBride released a video where he says, “We can’t let Trump pretend to be a cowboy.”
While roaming the halls of the Capitol in a skirt and calling himself Sarah.
This article first appeared on Don Surber’s Substack. Reprinted here with permission.
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