Satire
In a groundbreaking move to level the playing field of physical appearance, the U.S. government has declared war on good looks, proclaiming it unfair that some individuals are born with naturally striking features while others are left grappling with the genetic lottery of “ugly” genes. Enter the latest mandate: masks, not just for pandemics anymore, but as the great equalizer of attractiveness.
Under the guise of promoting fairness and equity, citizens are now required to wear masks whenever in public, effectively hiding their faces and erasing any advantages bestowed by symmetrical features, chiseled jawlines, or dazzling smiles. This revolutionary measure aims to ensure that the “ugly” populace has the same opportunities and privileges as their more aesthetically blessed counterparts.
The new mask mandate has sparked both amusement and bewilderment, with citizens donning an array of creative and quirky face coverings to comply with the decree. From comically oversized noses to whimsical animal designs, the masks have become a canvas for self-expression in this quest for egalitarian beauty standards. Proponents of the mandate point to its potential to reduce discrimination based on looks and foster a more accepting and diverse society.
As citizens adjust to the new norm of masked encounters and masked compliments (because who can tell if you’re smiling?), one thing is certain: beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, but in this masked era, everyone gets a shot at anonymity and a level playing field in the grand pageant of life. It’s just not fair some people are born with good looks.
If you enjoyed this article, then please REPOST or SHARE with others; encourage them to follow AFNN. If you’d like to become a citizen contributor for AFNN, contact us at managingeditor@afnn.us Help keep us ad-free by donating here.
Substack: American Free News Network Substack
Truth Social: @AFNN_USA
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/afnnusa
Telegram: https://t.me/joinchat/2_-GAzcXmIRjODNh
Twitter: https://twitter.com/AfnnUsa
GETTR: https://gettr.com/user/AFNN_USA
CloutHub: @AFNN_USA