ITEM 1: Breitbart reported that Kamala “Harris said to a Georgia Voter: I Washed My Collard Greens in a Bathtub.”
I’m confused. When did McDonald’s start selling collard greens?
ITEM 2: The Hobo of Rehoboth left the beach to campaign in Pittsburgh at a Labor Day labor rally. He called it the “Greatest manufacturing city, county in the world, state in the world, city in the world.”
The best part was the video showing everyone acting like they understood exactly what he said.
ITEM 3: The Daily Mail reported, “Shocking leak suggests your phone really is listening in on your conversations.”
I suspected that when my phone began groaning at my dad jokes.
ITEM 4: Yahoo reported, “49ers first-round pick Ricky Pearsall shot while being robbed.”
Don’t worry. It’s California where the prosecutors are so tough that I am sure the assailant will get a roughing the receiver penalty and be ejected from the game.
ITEM 5: The Eagles and the Packers played the first NFL game ever in Brazil on Friday.
Darius Slay of the Eagles blasted the league for sending players “somewhere with a crime rate this high.”
Dude, somebody has to play San Francisco.
Chicago.
Detroit.
ITEM 6: WHTM reported, “Nearly 700 soldiers with the Pennsylvania National Guard will soon be deploying to Africa.”
Many are happy to leave Philadelphia for someplace safe.
ITEM 7: AP reported, “Oregon’s first-in-the-nation experiment with drug decriminalization came to an end Sunday, and possessing small amounts of hard drugs is once again a crime.”
This is your city on drugs.
 |
Any questions?
ITEM 8: Monica Showalter reported, “Illinois’s Pritzker signs law banning hotel mini-shampoos, to save the planet.”
Any planet that cannot survive a small bottle of shampoo ain’t worth saving.
ITEM 9: Life News reported, “Kamala Harris’ FBI Fails to Report Child Sex Crimes, But Prosecutes Pro-Lifers.”
Well, if the child molesters were Republican, she might.
ITEM 10: Senator Josh Hawley tweeted, “The agents assigned to President Trump in Butler PA were pulled off child exploitation cases and thrown onto Trump’s protective detail with nothing more than a 2 hour online training. And we know this ONLY because of brave whistleblowers.”
It was a twofer for Biden. He protected his pedo pals while leaving Trump unprotected.
ITEM 11: NRA-ILA reported, “Never Enough: German Government Pushes Knife Control in Wake of Terror Attack.”
How about a little Illegal Alien Animal Control?
ITEM 12: Collin Rugg tweeted with video, “John McCain’s son, Jimmy, says he is so disgusted that Trump would turn Arlington into a campaign backdrop that he is voting for Kamala. Ironically, in 1999, John McCain himself used Arlington National Cemetery as a campaign backdrop in a political ad.”
Jimmy is still on active duty.
ITEM 13: Liz Cheney tweeted on August 11, 2020, “Kamala Harris is a radical liberal who would raise taxes, take away guns & health insurance, and explode the size and power of the federal gov’t. She wants to recreate America in the image of what’s happening on the streets of Portland & Seattle. We won’t give her the chance.”
NYT on Wednesday, “Liz Cheney, a Top GOP Trump Critic, Says She Will Vote for Harris.”
She spends twice as much money on makeup as most women because she has two faces to put on every day.
ITEM 14: Her father also endorsed Kamala, saying, “In our nation’s 248-year history, there has never been an individual who is a greater threat to our republic than Donald Trump.”
Cheney added that Trump also has weapons of mass destruction.
QUESTION OF THE WEEK:
 |
Why is that bear licking Gavin Newsom’s ear?
ITEM 15: The New York Post reported, “Kim Jong Un executes 30 officials over floods in North Korea that killed 4,000.”
When I take over the world, I’m making him my director of personnel.
ITEM 16: CNN reported, “Judge delays Trump’s sentencing until after the election.”
Democrats learned from the mugshot. Imprisoning him now would have led to a 50-state sweep.
OLD POST OF THE WEEK: A year ago, I endorsed Trump in the primaries for the third time.
Many readers are under the impression that they have a choice in next year’s presidential election. Allow me to disabuse them of this false notion. Alvin Bragg, Jack Smith and Fani Willis took away the right of Republicans to choose a presidential candidate by indicting President Donald John Trump. Because the charges are bogus, we must re-elect him or government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall perish from the earth.
Anyone care to argue?
ITEM 17: Debajit Sarjarian tweeted, “Greta Thunberg was reportedly arrested at an anti-Israel protest in Denmark blocking the entrance to a Danish university which cooperates with Israel for the development of new green technology.”
Well, what do you expect? You stole her childhood. Now she’s siding with the terrorists.
ITEM 18: AP reported, “The commander of a Navy destroyer that’s helping protect the San Diego-based aircraft carrier USS Theodore Roosevelt in the Middle East has been relieved of duty about four months after he was seen in a photo firing a rifle with a scope mounted backward.”
Rifle. I was in the Army but I think they need cannons on those ships.
ITEM 19: Fox reported, “Former President Trump and his running mate, Ohio Sen. JD Vance, have sat down for at least 35 interviews since the Harris-Walz ticket was formed, compared to a single non-scripted interview for the Democratic presidential hopefuls thus far.”
She won’t talk because she’s a word salad tosser.
ITEM 20: Net Zero Watch tweeted, “Volvo has ditched plans to sell only electric cars by 2030 amid waning demand for battery powered vehicles.”
Fads fade.
ITEM 21: Speaking of fading fads, Life News reported, “De-trainsitioner Sues Planned Parenthood for Pushing Radical Trans Agenda on Her.”
De-transitioner. If the surgery is so life saving, why are people trying to reverse it? Anyone know a de-chemotherapy person?
ITEM 22: Josh Kraushaar tweeted, “Hearing lots of rumbling today that Harris camp regretting not picking Shapiro.”
Walz single-handedly put Minnesota in play. If you’re a man and your nickname is Tampon Tim, that is not a good thing. If you are a woman, it is even worse.
This article first appeared on Don Surber’s Substack. Reprinted here with permission.
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