Remember the Phantom Zone? It was a parallel dimension that Krypton placed its criminals in, according to Superman comics. In other words, it was imaginary.

Washington DC is a Phantom Zone but sadly it is real. Liberals keep talking themselves into a lather over imaginary threats to America.

The latest lather was summed up best in the New Republic headline, “Trump Plans $92 Million Military Parade—Honoring Himself.

“Donald Trump is pulling straight from the dictator’s playbook.”

The story cited a story in City Paper, which reported:

Trump Will Get His Showy (And Likely Expensive) Military Parade in D.C.

Trump’s 2018 plans for a parade of military tanks and planes down Pennsylvania Avenue NW were scuttled. But this year no one will stop him.

President Donald Trump for years has lusted after a big military parade over which he could preside—just like he sees leaders do in other mostly authoritative countries.

During his first term in 2018, Trump wanted a grandiose military parade on the streets of D.C.

But Trump angrily and reluctantly canceled his plans after military leaders said it would cost $92 million and after District officials complained that heavy military equipment—tanks and planes included—would tear up the roadways and cost $21 million just for parade public safety.

Now, second-term Trump apparently won’t be denied.

I will sieg your heil and raise you a jawohl.

The story about the showy and expensive parade is based on a complaint by Arlington County Board Chairman Takis Karantonis, who said, “It’s not clear to me what the scope of a parade would be, but I would hope the federal government remains sensitive to the pain and concerns of numerous [military] veteran residents who have lost or might lose their jobs in recent federal decisions, as they reflect on how best to celebrate the Army’s anniversary.”

Army’s anniversary?

Huh?

How did that get in there? I thought the parade was to celebrate mein Führer’s 79th birthday, not the stupid Army’s anniversary. OK, its 250th anniversary. Oh and it is also Flag Day. Oh and it is on a Saturday.

But other than that, it is just a waste of time ego trip for—as the City Paper reminded us—a convicted felon.

Never mind that the source of this news tip said, “It’s not clear to me what the scope of a parade would be,” the whole matter of having a military parade to honor an entire military service is an insult to the sensitivities to a group of vets who may lose their jobs because of Trump.

But this caterwauling about a military parade would not be a story without the input of America’s oldest fart, Bill Kristol, who wrote:

Such grandstanding seems like a classic pride-goeth-before-the-fall moment. So I’m marking down June 14, 2025 as the coming high water mark of Trump’s hubris. And it’s an apt date—the 85th anniversary of the Germans entering Paris on June 14, 1940.

Now we are getting somewhere. That is real research right there. Trump is not celebrating his birthday but rather the Nazis defeating Paris.

Wow. Old Fred and Mary Trump were good. They deliberately planned The Donald’s birth to fall on the sixth anniversary of Hitler taking Paris.

Kristol was not through. He declared as unconstitutional Trump’s decision to hold a parade to celebrate the Army’s 250th anniversary:

The Founders understood the dangers of hubris. They built a system to provide guardrails against it. The separation of powers is a key part of that, as ambition was to counteract ambition. Other features of the American republic, ranging from the the Electoral College to the very size of the republic, were designed to limit the ability of one hubristic man to take over and exert unchecked power. And political parties, which emerged in the 19th century, were also designed to channel and limit the sway of any one individual.

These guardrails have been weakened. That’s our fault, not Trump’s. Trump’s hubris may be his weakness, but his success has been our failure. But perhaps by June we will awaken and begin to act to rectify our failure.

The Founding Fathers were not gay Founders. They were the men who founded the Army, the Navy and the Marines. Later, they made the president the commander-in-chief. The American people made Donald Trump president. That’s fact, not hubris.

But Kristol said we have achieved Peak Trump. Sell, sell, sell.

Where have I heard this before?

Oh yes, he tweeted that on July 22, 2015, back when Twitter was the place journalists told you what they had for lunch.

Kristol said, “We are past PEAK TRUMP! Sell-by date approaching. Plan EXIT STRATEGY before Iowa! ADIOS amigo! #ArtOfTheWithdrawal.”

Maybe we should delay the parade until the 10th anniversary of Peak Trump on July 22.

TDS is so tedious.

Kristol’s cries of Peak Trump in 2015 became so cringe-worthy that even liberals mocked him. Eric Levitz of New York magazine filed a report on January 29, 2016, “The Donald’s Debate Boycott Officially Pays Off, As Bill Kristol Predicts Trump Has Peaked.”

I am laughing because the lefty loon writer was right.

DC is not alone in the Phantom Zone. Wall Street too lives in a parallel dimension. Jim Cramer ranted about tariffs hurting stocks and interfering with the right to stocks always going up and up but never down.

Such an entitled man. He is as angry as Marvin the Martian. Thank goodness Jim doesn’t have an Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator to obliterate Earth.

But for real stupidity, none top DC.

The national media sadly have not reached Peak Idiocy, but the Daily Beast came close with its headline, “Trump Orders Four Mile Military Parade for His 79th Birthday.”

Fortune said, “Trump is reportedly planning the military parade he has long wanted for his 79th birthday.”

The Hill, too, ran a similar headline, “Trump planning military parade through DC for 79th birthday.”

That link is to the ABC affiliate in Salt Lake City, which carried the story. The media has become the journalistic equivalent of the coronavirus.

Kristol and the rest of the DC media are taking plans for a celebration of the Army’s Semiquincentennial and making it about Trump.

And he’s the one with the problem? Right.

This article first appeared on Don Surber’s Substack. Reprinted here with permission.

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