ITEM 1: Science Alert said, “Owning a Cat Could Double Your Risk of Schizophrenia, Research Suggests.”
Or it could be schizophrenics are twice as likely to own a cat.
ITEM 2: Adam Johnston tweeted:
Less than 3 minutes into the Ken Burns documentary on the American Revolution, and we get:
1. White people are bad.
2. Native Americans had a centuries-old democracy before British colonists arrived.
3. Benjamin Franklin copied the Native American blueprint.
Did Burns mention cannibalism by the Iroquois? History teachers always leave out the juicy stuff.
ITEM 3: The American Farm Bureau Federation announced its “40th annual Thanksgiving dinner survey provides a snapshot of the average cost of Thanksgiving staples that make up a classic holiday feast for 10, which is $55.18 or about $5.52 per person. This is a 5% decrease from 2024.”
That’s another thing to be thankful for this year.
ITEM 4: AP reported, “Philippine President Ferdinand Marcos Jr. says many of at least 37 powerful senators, members of Congress and wealthy businesspeople implicated in a massive corruption scandal involving flood control projects will be locked up in jail by Christmas.”
The shoes are on the other foot—all 3,000 pairs of them.
ITEM 5: Patrick De Haan tweeted, “Hurricane season has just 2 weeks remaining, but so far, for the first time in a decade: ZERO hurricanes made U.S. landfall. ZERO Gulf hurricanes.”
Climate change led to a shortage of hurricanes.
ITEM 6: Al Jazeera reported, “Saudi Crown Prince promises trillion-dollar investments with U.S.”
It is amazing what you accomplish when your president doesn’t call a head of state a murderer.
ITEM 7: Trump threw a state dinner for the prince. Guests included Elon Musk, Tim Cook and some soccer guy.
Anna Lulis tweeted, “Cristiano Ronaldo was almost aborted. His mother drank boiled black beer to end his life in the womb. God intervened.
“Ronaldo survived. He became the world’s greatest athlete and is now walking the White House halls showing millions: his life matters.”
ITEM 8: Eric Daugherty tweeted, “Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent just personally held up the FIRST USA-made rare earth magnet in 25 years, manufactured in South Carolina. Bessent says the Trump economy is about to SURGE into 2026.”
It’s a MAGA magnet.
ITEM 9: Jeff Epstein emails flooded the zone this week. Libs of TikTok posted one and tweeted, “Wait so Hakeem Jeffries invited Epstein to a dinner to solicit money from him in 2013, AFTER Epstein was convicted for procuring a child for prostitution???”
Jeff Epstein, D-Rainmaker.
ITEM 10: So how are liberals who quit Twitter doing in their new home, BlueSky?
Stephen L. Miller tweeted, “BlueSky is currently accusing Keith Olbermann of being a pedophile.”
(Quietly closes door, turns and walks away.)
ITEM 11: CBS reported, “Bill targeting White House ballroom donations introduced by Democrats.”
Trump builds good things, Democrats destroy them.
ITEM 12: The New York Times reported, “President Trump’s sweeping tariffs took a toll on trade in August, as imports of goods and services dropped 5.1%, to $340.4 billion, after taxes on exports from roughly 90 countries went into effect on August 7, newly released data from the Commerce Department showed Wednesday.”
Our exports remained unchanged. Tariffs set another record.
Just what does Trump think he’s doing by making America great again?
ITEM 13: ABC reported, “Just as SNAP benefits were reinstated for millions of Americans following the reopening of the federal government, many are now set to permanently lose them.”
The 186,000 dead people on SNAP will starve.
ITEM 14: NYT reported that George Conway may run for Congress against JFK’s grandson and Bill Clinton’s daughter.
Finally, someone big enough to fill Jerry Nadler’s seat.
ITEM 15: Scott McClallen reported, “Florida Congresswoman Charged With Stealing $5 Million in FEMA Funds.”
Remember, all Democrats are presumed innocent until some judge throws out the charges.
ITEM 16: The Guardian reported, “The State Department is proposing to suspend 38 universities including Harvard and Yale from a federal research partnership program because they engage in diversity, equity and inclusion hiring practices, according to an internal memo and spreadsheet obtained by the Guardian.”
Possible replacements include Liberty University and Brigham Young University. They have better football teams.
ITEM 17: John Hinderaker reported, “Former Harvard President and leading Democratic Party intellectual Larry Summers has announced that he is “stepping back” from public activities as a result of his relationship with Jeffrey Epstein, as revealed in Epstein’s recently released emails.”
His trips to Epstein’s island were just to recruit middle-school girls to someday enroll at Harvard.
ITEM 18: Congresswoman Ilhan Omar tweeted, “Governor Abbott called CAIR, the largest Muslim civil rights organization, a ‘terrorist organization’ and said Muslims are a ‘threat to our freedom.’ The normalization of anti-Muslim hate speech is vile.
“This bigot should have no place in elected office.”
Eyal Yakoby tweeted, “CAIR was designated as a terrorist organization by the UAE in 2014. Are you saying that the United Arab Emirates is Islamophobic?”
ITEM 19: Rapid Response 47 tweeted:
Over the past year:
2.5M native-born Americans GAINED employment; 670K foreign-born workers LOST employment.
3.4M native-born Americans JOINED the labor force; 708K foreign-born workers LEFT the labor force.
Illegal aliens. Stealing the jobs Americans want to do.
ITEM 20: Six Democrats released a video encouraging military personnel to disobey Trump’s orders—after labeling the J6 protests an insurrection. Trump called their acts sedition and reminded them if guilty, they could be sentenced to death.
Don’t get my hopes up, Trump. I’m still waiting for Hillary’s prison term to begin.
ITEM 21: AP reported, “The Trump administration announced on Thursday new oil drilling off the California and Florida coasts for the first time in decades, advancing a project that critics say could harm coastal communities and ecosystems, as President Donald Trump seeks to expand U.S. oil production.”
Republicans may as well write off California in the next election. Sigh.
ITEM 22: NYT reported, “Family Affair: Commerce Secretary’s Sons Cash In on A.I. Frenzy.”
Change the name to Biden and there is no New York Times investigation.
ITEM 23: Trump offered a 28-point peace plan for Ukraine, which includes giving up land and not joining NATO.
In 1994, Clinton convinced Ukraine to give up its nukes. Never give up your nukes, folks.
ITEM 24: The Financial Times reported, “The plan, and the scale of U.S. pressure on Ukraine, has blindsided European leaders and their national security teams, who on Friday were rushing to devise a coherent response to Washington, people involved in the frantic diplomatic talks told the Financial Times.”
They need more time to respond. They’ve only had 3 years to come up with their own peace plan.
ITEM 25: Fox reported, “Rep. Eric Swalwell, D-Calif., announced on Thursday he is launching a campaign for California governor in 2026.”
Watch out because Katie Porter is boiling potatoes.
ITEM 26: The WLT Report reported, “On Thursday afternoon, President Trump welcomed a large group of recently freed Israeli hostages and their families at the White House.”
Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear yarmulkes.
ITEM 27: The New York Post reported:
Dr. Jeffrey Epstein, the Long Island neurosurgeon Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-Texas) suggested could be the notorious sex trafficker, told The Post Thursday about the masterstroke of revenge he could dish out on the loud-mouthed congresswoman who dragged his name through the mud.
“I think that I should contribute money to Jasmine Crockett and then let everybody know that she also took money from Jeffrey Epstein,” Epstein told the Post.
You don’t have to be a brain surgeon to figure out how to get even, but it helps.
ITEM 28: The Daily Signal reported, “Two lawmakers are working with the Trump administration to roll back a Biden-era regulation forcing taxpayers to pay for unaccompanied illegal alien children in the U.S. to travel to get abortions.”
Children?
Find out who knocked them up and throw them in prison—or a wood-chipper.
ITEM 29: Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene gave the nation six weeks notice that she is quitting Congress on January 5.
Democrats already are filling in the mail-in ballots for the special election to replace her.
ITEM 30: Mamdani visited the White House and so charmed Trump that the president appointed him to replace MTG in Congress.
ITEM 31: ABC tweeted, “States, counties and schools have stepped in to improve safety amid an uptick in e-bike injuries, while federal regulatory efforts stagnate.”
Oh no. Kids are having fun. The Burgermeister Meisterburgers of the land must regulate, regulate, regulate.
ITEM 32: The Financial Times reported, “Donald Trump agreed to attend Davos in January after organizers gave assurances that overtly woke topics would not feature prominently at the annual Alpine gathering, according to people familiar with the talks.”
The globalists caved in and lost. Viva Lost Davos!
FINALLY, here. Have a good cry.
This article first appeared on Don Surber’s Substack. Reprinted here with permission.
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