Don Surber’s Weekly Highlights…UPDATED. Maduro In US Custody

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE WEEK “At least seven explosions and low-flying aircraft were heard around 2 a.m. local time Saturday in Venezuela’s capital, Caracas.”

ITEM 1: Melissa Chen tweeted, “So NPR’s investigation is on Nick Shirley.”

Investigating Somalian fraudster and their Democrat enablers may get NPR charged with committing journalism.

Besides unlike Leslie Nielsen, you can call him Shirley.

ITEM 2: Fox reported, “Actor George Clooney, along with his wife Amal Alamuddin Clooney, and their two children, have become French citizens.”

Trump is self-deporting celebrities one communist at a time.

(Alternative ending: Ne pas lettez le door hittez vous on zee oui oui on zee way au revoir.)

ITEM 3: Variety reported, “George Clooney: ‘Bari Weiss Is Dismantling CBS News as We Speak.’”

Shouldn’t he have to say that in French now? I could givez him some lèssons, no?

ITEM 4: The Wall Street Journal reported, “Why a $500 Steak Dinner Only Yields a $25 Profit.”

The story didn’t mention taxes. I will. The city of Chicago and Illinois get $53.75 in sales taxes for that dinner—$58.75 if the restaurant is downtown.

ITEM 5: J. Michael Waller tweeted:

Trump’s sanctioning of Venezuelan oil and seizing or blockading the tanker ghost fleet is having stupendous repercussions:

1. Severe weakening of the Maduro cartel regime.

2. Severe weakening of the Cuban Communist regime.

3. Choking off Iranian Revolutionary Guard, which took Venezuelan oil to sell for cash.

4. Leaving Chinese Communist Party without reliable oil from Venezuela and Iran.

Side benefit, the shah’s son may return.

ITEM 6: The New York Post reported, “At least seven explosions and low-flying aircraft were heard around 2 a.m. local time Saturday in Venezuela’s capital, Caracas.

“It was not immediately clear what was behind the explosions. Venezuela’s government, the Pentagon and White House did not immediately respond to requests for comment.

“People in various neighborhoods rushed to the streets. Some could be seen in the distance from various areas of Caracas.”

Maybe it was meteors.

One meteor struck the Mausoleum of Hugo Chávez. Instant cremation.

ITEM 7: Right Angle News Network tweeted, “In a 5 to 4 decision, the Salem City Council in Oregon has appointed Kyle Hedquist, whose sentence for murdering a 19 year old in 1995 and leaving her in a ditch was commuted in 2022, to the police oversight board and civil commission.”

Democrats get away with murder.

ITEM 8: AP reported, “Saudi Arabia bombed Yemen’s port city of Mukalla on Tuesday after a weapons shipment from the United Arab Emirates arrived for separatist forces in the war-torn country, and warned that it viewed Emirati actions as extremely dangerous.”

Hard to tell the good guys from the bad guys.

ITEM 9: AP reported, “The CIA was behind a drone strike last week at a docking area believed to have been used by Venezuelan drug cartels, according to two people familiar with details of the operation who requested anonymity to discuss the classified matter.”

Pretty easy to tell who the good guys are. Unless you’re a Democrat.

ITEM 10: Israeli President Netanyahu said, “We decided to break a convention, or create a new one, and that is to award the Israel Prize, which in almost our 80 years we’ve never awarded it to a non-Israeli, and we are going to award it this year to President Trump.”

What a Nobel effort by Israel.

ITEM 11: The New York Times reported, “States Have More Data About You Than the Feds Do. Trump Wants to See It.”

NYT framed this as protecting privacy. It’s like saying taxes protect you from buying too much stuff.

ITEM 12: People magazine reported Prince William makes $30 million a year off his crown.

America does not have royalty. We have the NBA where 60 players make that much or more. Until he can dunk and hit treys, he’s overpaid.

ITEM 13: The Financial Times said, “The U.S. dollar is heading for its steepest annual drop since 2017, with Wall Street banks predicting further weakness next year as the Federal Reserve presses ahead with interest rate cuts.”

And what happened in 2017? Imports fell, exports rose and unemployment hit 50 year lows.

ITEM 14: The Guardian reported, “They tried to smear him as an anti-Semite—but Mayor Zohran Mamdani walks in a rich Jewish tradition.”

He was sworn in with the Koran.

ITEM 15: The New York Post reported, “Misspelled Minnesota day care Quality ‘Learing’ trucks in children after viral fraud video: ‘Never seen kids go in there until today.’”

That was not a typo. It was a Learing Center where people study one of Shakespeare’s plays.

ITEM 16: Deputy HHS Secretary Jim O’Neill tweeted, “We have frozen all child care payments to the state of Minnesota.”

Maybe Tim Walz can help with the children until all this is straightened out. He is a teacher after all. And he can bring tampons for all the boys.

ITEM 17: The Tennessee Star reported, “Latest FBI Release of Covenant School Manifesto Files Appears to Confirm Trans-Identified Killer Bought Guns with Pell Grant Money.”

Somalis aren’t the only ones fleecing taxpayers.

ITEM 18: President Macron offered to hold a national tribute to Brigitte Bardot, her family turned it down and said he’s not welcome at her funeral. Far-right, ultra-extremist Marine LePen with OxyClean, will attend.

Macron can send George Clooney to represent him.

ITEM 19: The Jerusalem Post reported, “Two Oklahoma Jewish organizations have come together to launch a program to assist Canadian Jews in relocating to Tulsa.”

Welcome to the 21st century’s underground railroad.

ITEM 20: Crown Prince Reza Pahlavi to Iranian people: “My compatriots, at this moment, the Islamic Republic has reached its end and is in the process of collapse. Khamenei has gone into hiding underground like a scared rat, and has completely lost control of the situation. What has begun cannot be reversed. The future is bright, and together we will break through this dark wall.”

America, we now know why the CIA backed the Peacock Throne until Jimmy Carter came along.

ITEM 21: The New York Post reported, “Florida state officials move to ban paper straws at restaurants, citing ‘concerning health risks.’”

California bans plastic straw while Florida may ban paper. I liked it better when restaurants decided which straws to use.

ITEM 22: Florida’s ban is based on paper straws having PFAS. Hey Grok, “What is the risk of death from PFAS if you use a paper straw every day for 30 years?”

Grok: “The risk of death specifically from PFAS exposure via daily use of a paper straw for 30 years is extremely low—likely on the order of 1 in tens of thousands to millions, depending on the specific brand and assumptions about PFAS types and leaching.”

A million to one! That means over the next 30 years 23 Floridians could suffer Death by Paper Straws. We should add a paper straw to the game Clue. Colonel Mustard in the Billiard Room with a Paper Straw.

ITEM 23: Hey Grok, “What is the risk of death if you use a plastic straw every day for 30 years?”

Grok: “The risk of death from using a plastic straw every day for 30 years is extremely low—essentially indistinguishable from zero based on current scientific evidence.”

California is solving imaginary problems while ignoring illegal immigration, drug abuse and keeping water in reservoirs.

ITEM 24: Collin Rugg tweeted:

Woman in the Swiss ski bar fire which killed [40 people] says she witnessed a miracle, says the flames completely avoided her friend, who sat down with a cross in his hand when he became trapped.

“A friend of mine couldn’t get out, and he just sat down and held his cross in his hand. The fire just avoided him. The fire didn’t touch him. The fire was all around him but not on him.”

Praise God.

Amen.

ITEM 25: Axios reported, “U.S. measles cases reach highest level in over 30 years: CDC.”

And yet somehow we survived 1992.

ITEM 26: AP reported, “The Trump administration is facing a new legal complaint from a group of government employees who are affected by a new policy going into effect Thursday that eliminates coverage for gender-related care [cosmetic surgery] in federal health insurance programs.”

Sex dysphoria is a mental disorder. Why not try a lobotomy first?

ITEM 27: The Daily Mail reported, “Seattle’s new socialist mayor pledged to ‘stand with Somali health childcare providers’ as she took a shot at Donald Trump during her inauguration. Katie Wilson, 43, has drawn scrutiny for openly taking money from her parents to fund her life, and for her so-called communist plans to remake the Emerald City.”

Why are taxpayers providing childcare? I mean other than for the fraud and kickbacks to politicians.

ITEM 28: The New York Post reported, “Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Lee Zeldin is hitting the brakes on $2.3 billion left in spending from the Biden administration’s electric school bus program—following backlash over New York Gov. Kathy Hochul’s mandate and as the vehicles have been breaking down in the cold and failing to be produced in a timely manner to districts.”

They cost more than $300,000. I know how to save the planet and make kids healthy again. Have them walk to school.

ITEM 29: PJ Media reported, “Russian Official Uses Simpsons Meme to Mock ‘Comrade Mamdani.’”

They told me we won the Cold War. Then America went commie.

ITEM 30: Breitbart reported, “Trump Ending Automatic Green Cards for Migrants Marrying U.S. Citizens.”

Old virgins hardest hit.

ITEM 31: ABC’s Jonathan Karl interviewed Nancy Pelosi. He didn’t bring up insider trading.

She must be sharing her stock tips with him.

ITEM 32: Lawrence Person reported, “Spielberg Schindler’s List Foundation Now Funds Anti-Israel Groups.”

The worst part is all of those people who saw the film and forgot the message.

ITEM 33: Marc A. Thiessen of the Washington Post wrote, “The 20 best things Trump did in 2025.”

When shutting down the Mexican border is listed as No. 18, you know TrumpAmerica had a great year.

ITEM 34: Jeb! tweeted, “The Islamic Republic does not represent the great Iranian people. President Trump continues to demonstrate historic leadership on Iran.”

There IS a cure for TDS.

FINALLY, Zineb Riboua tweeted, “At the end of the day, it is absolutely crucial for any leader around the globe to believe that the United States can get him if it wants to. That belief is deterrence. And that type of willpower is the backbone of national security.”

Meteor showers are cleansing.