The media continues reporting on the obvious, the bizarre and the ironic, often erroneously. American Free News Network contributor Don Surber adds his laugh-out-loud, make-you-think perspective to each instance of noteworthy reporting. Comments open to everyone today. Happy Easter.
ITEM 1: Zero Hedge opined, “It’s Past Time To Privatize The Post Office.”
It has been thanks to e-mail and online banking.
ITEM 2: The New York Times reported, “FEMA Official Says He Teleported to Waffle House. Experts Are Dubious.”
I thought the guy was nuts. Then the experts weighed in.
ITEM 3: We have experts on teleporting?
Scotty must have beamed them up.
ITEM 4: Varad Mehta asked, “What happened to the TSA lines?”
ICE came. ICE saw. Illegal aliens scattered.
ITEM 5: Variety reported, “Sony Pictures is eyeing a biopic of legendary news anchor Walter Cronkite.”
That would be a good role for Jussie Smollett, or should he wait until the Dan Rather biopic comes along?
ITEM 6: So how are things working out for that socialist heaven called Spain?
“Spain passes Romania and becomes the EU country with the highest risk of child poverty.”
ITEM 7: Morocco World News reported, “Morocco has awarded a contract to Israeli defense manufacturer Elbit Systems for 36 Atmos 2000 self-propelled artillery pieces, replacing its previous supplier KNDS France, according to multiple sources cited by French newspaper La Tribune on Saturday.”
Winning wars is a good marketing strategy.
ITEM 8: On Tuesday, AP reported, “Trump’s go-to moves to influence the markets are increasingly falling flat as the Iran war drags on.”
On Friday, CNBC reported, “U.S. payrolls rose by 178,000 in March, more than expected; unemployment at 4.3%.”
ITEM 9: The same press that declared after two weeks that Operation Epic Fury was a forever war also told us Kamala lost because her campaign was only 107 days long.
She did slightly better than Iran.
ITEM 10: On Thursday, Russia asked Israel and the United States to ensure a ceasefire while it evacuates all Russian staff from the Bushehr nuclear power plant in Iran.
Putin’s exact words were, “Don’t tase me, bro.”
ITEM 11: No one on the New York Times copy desk knows what the Atlantic is.
Sad.
ITEM 12: Bret Baier reported, “President Trump’s ballroom project has tonight received approval from a key federal planning agency, days after a federal judge ordered construction to halt.
“The National Capitol Planning Commission approved the construction on federal property today.”
If judges had their way, he’d need their permission to use the bathroom.
ITEM 13: Axios cried, “Hegseth’s wartime firing of top generals stuns officials: ‘It’s insane.”
Lincoln fired Generals George B. McClellan, Ambrose Burnside, Joseph Hooker, John Pope, Irvin McDowell, and John C. Frémont.
FDR fired Admiral Husband E. Kimmel and General Walter Short—who were in charge of Hawaii and the fleet on Pearl Harbor Day.
Truman fired General Douglas MacArthur.
Obama fired General David McKiernan.
ITEM 14: This is your New York Times on Biden.
This is your New York Times on Trump.
Any questions?
ITEM 15: LeBron James said about playing for Memphis, “I’m f***ing 41 years of age. You think I want to do sh** in Memphis on a random Thursday? I’m not the first guy in the NBA to talk about this. You guys got to move the team… go over to Nashville.”
Memphis is 63% black. Nashville is 24% black.
ITEM 16: Obama’s ambassador to Russia Michael McFaul tweeted, “Did we join the UK in support of their war against the Falkland Islands? No.”
Chris Skorina replied, “We sure did. The UK requested and received significant, logistical and intelligence support from the U.S. during the 1982 Falklands War. The Reagan administration supplied essential missiles, fuel, satellite intelligence, and use of the Ascension Island base to aid the British.”
Oh and Britain didn’t attack the Falklands. It owned the islands and defended them. Argentina tried to seize them.
ITEM 17: Reagan and Thatcher were best buds.
Trump has support from the leaders of most Muslim nations except England, France and Germany.
ITEM 18: CNBC reported, “Social Security needs money to fix its shortfall. The question is, who will pay?”
The rest of the government ran out of money long ago. Just put it on the tab, boys.
ITEM 19: Mayor Britt Smiley of Providence, RI, ordered the removal of a mural of slain Ukranian refugee Iryna Zarutska saying it was divisive, but there are at least four tributes to George Floyd.
She’s in good company. They took down their century-old statue of Christopher Columbus, who discovered savages lived in America. Iryna Zarutska made the same discovery.
The César Chávez statue still stands tall in Davis Park.
ITEM 20: Eric Daugherty reported, “It was just revealed that the Chinese suspects who tried detonating an IED at a US Air Force Base were BIRTHRIGHT CITIZENS of ILLEGAL ALIENS.”
Their parents arrived here in 1993 but were kicked out in 1998, but they were born here and remain patriotic—to Red China.
Merrick Garland had no trouble prosecuting Trump and his supporters.
ITEM 22: The Supreme Court voted 8-1 to strike down Colorado’s ban on Christian conversion therapy for homosexuals. The decision took 27 pages. KBJ dissent took 35.
I asked AI to sum up her argument. It said, “Diversity argle bargle cisgender argle bargle discrimination.”
ITEM 23: The New York Post did a story on California’s covid unemployment scam after the federal government opened the door to the U.S. treasury.
Whistleblower Haywood Talcove tweeted, “At one point, California had more people applying for unemployment than there were adults in the entire state. $32.6 billion. Gone. Prisoners collected. Dead people collected. I warned them. I begged them not to let the money go out like that. They suspended every rule anyway. The tools to stop this exist. So why are the doors still open? 30 years tracking fraud. This is the biggest in American history.
“It didn’t have to happen. And it doesn’t have to continue.”
That’s just one state.
ITEM 24: The New York Times reported, “ActBlue May Have Misled Congress on Vetting Foreign Donations, Its Lawyers Warned.
“The Democratic fund-raising group is facing investigations from the Justice Department and congressional Republicans ahead of the midterm elections.”
This was a 4,000-word innoculation. Imagine how diseased Democrat fund-raising is.
ITEM 25: Iran knocked down an F-15. Retired Marine Joey Jones said not to worry:
I was bleeding out of 4 limbs with a punctured lung and I never thought for a second people wouldn’t take care of me. We had Army helicopter pilots, they would land on a bomb to come get us!
Army helicopters rescued the crew. There are no reports they had to landed on a bomb.
This time.
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This article first appeared on Don Surber’s Substack. Reprinted here with permission.
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