Americans: The naivety of the latest would-be Trump asinine is amazing. Much like Charlie Kirk’s assassin who apparently did not know about touch DNA, did not notice the security cameras all over his former university, did not know that a would-be criminal should never take his cellphone with him and did not know that police can read a suspect’s texts (with a search warrant, of course), Allen grossly underestimated the layers upon layers of security surrounding President Trump, VP Vance and cabinet members. I suspect that the number of guests (2,300) was dwarfed by the number of Secret Service, DC police, National Guard and hotel security, carrying guns.
Democrats had been working on Cole Tomas Allen for sometime as evidenced by the relatively articulate “manifesto” he left behind. “I experience rage thinking about everything this administration has done,” he admits as he is about to ruin his life. He admits that he has been wanting “to do something” for a long time. I can’t help but wonder what tipped him over the edge:
Was it Democrat Senator Cory Booker’s April 18th speech which likely gave him a sore throat, screaming & shouting through the entire 30 minutes wherein he screamed that Democrats “need foot soldiers?” Was it Democrat House Leader Hakeem Jeffries’ April 21st post on X or his April 22nd press conference in Washington DC wherein he declared“We are in an era of maximum warfare everywhere, all the time?”
Democrats and the fake media are now promoting the anti-semitic, racist, Jihadist, Marxist podcaster Hasan Piker. On April 23rd, he was on the New York Times’ newly launched podcast spewing his special kind of hate, promoting not only political assassinations, but assassinations of unknown CEOs. He even created a new word, a new justification for these premeditated murders: “social murder.” I would laugh at this jackassery if so many Useful Idiots didn’t believe this and might act upon it, hoping to become another martyr for The Left.
BEGINNING OF MANIFESTO
Hello everybody!
So I may have given a lot of people a surprise today. Let me start off by apologizing to everyone whose trust I abused.
I apologize to my parents for saying I had an interview without specifying it was for “Most Wanted.”
I apologize to my colleagues and students for saying I had a personal emergency (by the time anyone reads this, I probably most certainly DO need to go to the ER, but can hardly call that not a self-inflicted status.)
I apologize to all of the people I traveled next to, all the workers who handled my luggage, and all the other non-targeted people at the hotel who I put in danger simply by being near.
I apologize to everyone who was abused and/or murdered before this, to all those who suffered before I was able to attempt this, to all who may still suffer after, regardless of my success or failure.
I don’t expect forgiveness, but if I could have seen any other way to get this close, I would have taken it. Again, my sincere apologies.
On to why I did any of this:
I am a citizen of the United States of America.
What my representatives do reflects on me.
And I am no longer willing to permit a pedophile, rapist, and traitor to coat my hands with his crimes.
(Well, to be completely honest, I was no longer willing a long time ago, but this is the first real opportunity I’ve had to do something about it.)
While I’m discussing this, I’ll also go over my expected rules of engagement (probably in a terrible format, but I’m not military so too bad.)
Administration officials (not including Mr. Patel): they are targets, prioritized from highest-ranking to lowest
Secret Service: they are targets only if necessary, and to be incapacitated non-lethally if possible (aka, I hope they’re wearing body armor because center mass with shotguns messes up people who *aren’t*
Hotel Security: not targets if at all possible (aka unless they shoot at me)
Capitol Police: same as Hotel Security
National Guard: same as Hotel Security
Hotel Employees: not targets at all
Guests: not targets at all
In order to minimize casualties I will also be using buckshot rather than slugs (less penetration through walls)
I would still go through most everyone here to get to the targets if it were absolutely necessary (on the basis that most people *chose* to attend a speech by a pedophile, rapist, and traitor, and are thus complicit) but I really hope it doesn’t come to that.
Rebuttals to objections:
Objection 1: As a Christian, you should turn the other cheek.
Rebuttal: Turning the other cheek is for when you yourself are oppressed. I’m not the person raped in a detention camp. I’m not the fisherman executed without trial. I’m not a schoolkid blown up or a child starved or a teenage girl abused by the many criminals in this administration.
Turning the other cheek when *someone else* is oppressed is not Christian behavior; it is complicity in the oppressor’s crimes.
Objection 2: This is not a convenient time for you to do this.
Rebuttal: I need whoever thinks this way to take a couple minutes and realize that the world isn’t about them. Do you think that when I see someone raped or murdered or abused, I should walk on by because it would be “inconvenient” for people who aren’t the victim?
This was the best timing and chance of success I could come up with.
Objection 3: You didn’t get them all.
Rebuttal: Gotta start somewhere.
Objection 4: As a half-black, half-white person, you shouldn’t be the one doing this.
Rebuttal: I don’t see anyone else picking up the slack
Objection 5: Yield unto Caesar what is Caesar’s.
Rebuttal: The United States of America are ruled by the law, not by any one or several people. In so far as representatives and judges do not follow the law, no one is required to yield them anything so unlawfully ordered.
I would also like to extend my appreciation to a great many people since I will not be likely to be able to talk with them again (unless the Secret Service is *astoundingly* incompetent.)
Thank you to my family, both personal and church, for your love over these 31 years.
Thank you to my friends, for your companionship over many years.
Thank you to my colleagues over many jobs, for your positivity and professionalism.
Thank you to my students for your enthusiasm and love of learning.
Thank you to the many acquaintances I’ve met, in person and online, for short interactions and long-term relationships, for your perspectives and inspiration.
Thank you all for everything.
Sincerely,
Cole “coldForce” “Friendly Federal Assassin” Allen
PS: Ok now that all the sappy stuff is done, what the hell is the Secret Service doing? Sorry, gonna rant a bit here and drop the formal tone.
Like, I expected security cameras at every bend, bugged hotel rooms, armed agents every 10 feet, metal detectors out the wazoo.
What I got (who knows, maybe they’re pranking me!) is nothing.
No damn security.
Not in transport.
Not in the hotel.
Not in the event.
Like, if I was an Iranian agent, instead of an American citizen, I could have brought a damn Ma Deuce^ in here and no one would have noticed s–t.
Actually insane.
Oh and if anyone is curious is how doing something like feels: it’s awful. I want to throw up; I want to cry for all the things I wanted to do and never will, for all the people whose trust this betrays; I experience rage thinking about everything this administration has done.
Can’t really recommend it! Stay in school, kids.
END OF MANIFESTO
Follow me on X Diane L. Gruber
Another Useful Idiot Seeks Martyrdom
When will Democrats run out of their supply of Useful Idiots seeking martyrdom? Secret Service Deputy Director Matthew Quinn said the shooter was trying to carry out a “national tragedy” while all eyes were on the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. Cole Tomas Allen underestimated the protective capabilities of the US Secret Service, and was stopped at …
^A “Ma Deuce” is a Browning M2 .50-caliber heavy machine gun, a US military staple for nearly a century, usually tripod-mounted.
The author, Diane L. Gruber, is a First Amendment advocate who writes for Substack. She calls her Substack newsletter America First Re-Ignited. Follow me on X @DianeLGruber.
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