Parody As a Weapon Part XXXI

Last week, in Part XXX, we remained once again in the realm of song parody, and sang along with The Kinks as we watched Joe Biden wander around in his State of Confusion at the State of the Union and beyond. This week, we will remain nearby in the realm of song parody and television theme songs as we further dissect (or at least cut up) the evil Russian dictator and his incompetent American counterpart.

A news item covered by many outlets this week covered the story of a Russian athlete who won a gymnastics competition appeared on the winner’s stage sporting a “Z”, which has been adopted by Vlad Putin as a symbol of support for his invasion of his sovereign neighbor Ukraine. While the sputtering outrage at the victorious gymnast would have been non-existent had he worn the symbol for another group (e.g. Black Lives Matter) whose admiration for Marxist-Leninist expansionism is a matter of record, it has been reported that disciplinary action awaits the revanchist athlete.

Of course, it appears that in addition to invading a sovereign neighbor, Putin is also guilty of cultural appropriation by adopting the “Z” as a symbol for his war, as it has long been in use as a symbol of pride with Latin-American culture. In addition to being the name of a group of crime cartel enforcers who created their own cartel (Los Zetas), the sign of the Z has since at least the 1820s been the mark of the bold renegade Zorro. For those unfamiliar with the Disney-produced television series in the late 1950s-early 1960s (or worse, whose minds were polluted by subsequent revisionist versions of the hero), Zorro was the nom de guerre of the resistance fighter whose foppish nobleman persona was his pretextual cover as he fought against the brutal and repressive regime ruling California at the time. (The regime dealt with its critics by cutting out the tongues of those who spoke against it, which is likely under consideratio by the current dictator Gavin Newsome and the cancel culture that reigns there). The hero who carved the sign of the “Z” with his sword was portrayed by Guy Williams, who later in the 1960s would portray the patriarch of the Robinson family in the series “Lost in Space”. The episodes would feature the theme song performed by The Wellingtons (whose theme song career would also continue later into the 1960s with “Gilligan’s Island”). The theme song was also covered by The Chordettes, who had bigger-selling hits with “Mr. Sandman” and “Lollipop”.

Apparently the former KGB colonel was not as well-versed in western popular culture and may not have been aware that his symbology in the use of the “Z” was already claimed. Still, given the lack of respect for the intellectual property of others that is at the heart of so many communist regimes, and the use of historical revisionism and projection to deny competing claims, even if he was aware, this would not likely have inhibited Putin.

However, as appropriation is a game more than one can play, I will be borrowing the tune to re-make the theme into an ode to the current user of the sign of the “Z”. Since the song is so brief, in addition to using it for Putin, I also have composed a version for the current occupant of the White House, who is in many ways a false friend of Ukraine. Many believe it was Biden’s provocative weakness that emboldened the neighboring dictator, and helped place it in the circumstances it currently experiences. As such, a theme song that likely played in Corn Pop’s head as he wielded his rusty razor to protect himself from the much bigger lifeguard that was tormenting him at the Prices Run pool will be used to mock that same lifeguard, who is now also known by the nom de guerre of Brandon.

 

Out of the east,
there’s a bloodsucking beast,
He’s a Russian known as Putin.
With the gas receipts paid
Now Ukraine he’ll invade,
With a “Z” the sign for Putin.

Putin, Putin, an enemy of the free,
Putin, Putin, invades to the sign of the Z.

Civilians he’ll kill,
As your gas tank you fill
To fund the war of Putin.
But the folks in Ukraine,
They don’t merely complain,
But back at his soldiers they’re shootin’

Putin, Putin, an enemy of the free,
Putin, Putin, invades to the sign of the Z.

Putin, Putin, Putin, Putin, Putin…

(and for domestic consumption)

Born there in Scranton,
as he says in his rantin’,
Comes the big guy known as Brandon.
He gets ten percent
as his son collects rent,
A “B” that stands for Brandon

Brandon, Brandon, the people all say “Let’s Go”,
Brandon, Brandon, as our land is covered in woe.

He is confused,
As his bills are refused
To Build Back Better for Brandon.
Putin’s army is swarming,
but Joe fears global warming,
This very senile Senor Brandon.

Brandon, Brandon, the people all say “Let’s Go”,
Brandon, Brandon, as our land is covered in woe.

Brandon, Brandon, Brandon, Brandon, Brandon …

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