Once upon a time, there was the Jerry can—a marvel of German engineering that made carrying and pouring fuel as easy as pie. With three genius handles, a smooth-pouring spout, and a design so efficient it could float on water, it was adopted by militaries around the world and became the gold standard of fuel containers. Then came the U.S. government. Never ones to let a perfectly good thing thrive, bureaucrats and regulators decided to “improve” the fuel can by introducing safety features. Fast forward to today, and we’re all stuck with gas cans that don’t pour, don’t vent, and definitely don’t work without spilling more fuel on your boots than in your lawnmower.
What was the government’s great contribution to fuel can design? Enter the “spill-proof” nozzle, a contraption that requires three hands, two degrees in engineering, and a prayer to actually use. Press this, hold that, tilt carefully, and maybe—just maybe—you’ll get some gas into your tank. But more often than not, you’ll get a hand cramp and a splash of unleaded straight onto the driveway. Ironically, in their attempt to “prevent spills,” these regulations have created gas cans so wildly inefficient that spilling fuel is practically guaranteed. It’s like watching someone redesign the wheel and ending up with a triangle.
Why did this happen? Because a few bureaucrats who’ve clearly never poured gas in their lives decided we needed to save the environment from tiny fuel spills. Meanwhile, the actual environmental damage comes from everyone throwing their useless “safety” cans in the garbage after the nozzle breaks. Want a gas can that works like the old Jerry can? Tough luck. You’ll either pay through the nose for an imported version or spend hours on YouTube figuring out how to hack the “safety” nozzle back into something functional.
This is America’s trajectory in a nutshell. Instead of creating things that work, we create red tape. Instead of solving problems, we regulate solutions into extinction. Somewhere, a politician is patting themselves on the back for “fixing” the gas can problem, while the rest of us are stuck spilling half a gallon of fuel on the lawn just to fill a chainsaw. If these folks had been around in WWII, soldiers would have had to pause mid-battle to figure out how to operate a government-approved gas can with an instruction manual the size of the Bible.
So the next time you’re wrestling with your “spill-proof” can while muttering curses under your breath, remember: this is what happens when bureaucrats think they know better than engineers. The Jerry can was a masterpiece of simplicity. Today’s gas cans are a masterpiece of inefficiency. It’s proof that in modern America, nothing escapes the clutches of government meddling—not even a gas can
If you enjoyed this article, then please REPOST or SHARE with others; encourage them to follow AFNN. If you’d like to become a citizen contributor for AFNN, contact us at managingeditor@afnn.us Help keep us ad-free by donating here.
Substack: American Free News Network Substack
Truth Social: @AFNN_USA
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/afnnusa
Telegram: https://t.me/joinchat/2_-GAzcXmIRjODNh
Twitter: https://twitter.com/AfnnUsa
GETTR: https://gettr.com/user/AFNN_USA
CloutHub: @AFNN_USA
I have two five-gallon gasoline cans in my shop. I was fortunate enough to find an old, non-‘safety’ nozzle, and I now switch it back and forth to fuel up my lawnmower. It’s a pain in the butt, but it works.
It would work better if the gasoline cans were vented, something I could easily achieve by just drilling a small hole in the right spot, but I haven’t done that yet, because I want to prevent gasoline splashes in the bed of my truck when I’m hauling them.
The old gas cans were not broken, but the government decided that we needed to fix them.