BREAKING: Marco Rubio Appointed as Interim Grand Nagus of the Ferengi Alliance

BREAKING NEWS: Dateline: Washington, DC and Ferenginar, Ferenginar

President Trump announced today that not only in the spirit of  international relations, but also interstellar amity, he has given U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio, permission to accept the position of Interim Grand Nagus of the Ferengi Alliance.

The offer from the Ferengi Alliance, was tendered as the position of Grand Nagus became vacant after a long simmering dispute between the incumbent and President Trump over tariffs on Gold-Pressed Latinum. The dispute escalated and resulted in Trump dispatching Federation Marines to Ferenginar to take Grand Nagus Zek into custody and bring him before a Federation Tribunal.

The opposition party and according to some, the actual winner of a hotly disputed election, wanted its candidate to be immediately installed as Grand Nagus. Their candidate, Rom, the co-owner of a combination gambling den and brothel on a Federation space station, stated that given Rubio’s interim appointment, he was willing to step aside until the political situation became more clear and the price of Latinum stabilized.

When questioned about his authority to take such an action, President Trump quoted the Federation Charter, that specifically gives him the personal power to take any steps he deems necessary to keep order and make sure that the Galaxy adheres to The Trump Rules of Acquisition.

U.S. Secretary of State/Ferengi Grand Nagus designee Rubio, answered some questions from reporters as he was about to board an express space shuttle for Ferenginar to be sworn in.  When asked about his already staggering workload, he quipped that he needed (yet) another side hustle to get some extra cash, as his wife wanted some new shoes.

AFNN will keep you posted as this Interstellar event plays out.

Gannet,
AFNN Alpha Quadrant, Editor at Large

UPDATE: AFNN’s intrepid investigative reporting staff has uncovered an interesting report. According to unnamed sources within the Ferengi Commerce Authority, Academy of Acquisition (the main training facility for Ferengi Starship Captains) has ordered 10,000 copies of Trump’s, “The Art of the Deal.”

Stay Tuned.

Hat tip to one of AFNN’s best writers, Dave Cloft, who built the featured image for this article.

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