I’m having a problem using the president’s formal title and name together. It’s not a matter of Republican disrespect for a Democrat. I referred to both Barack Obama and Bill Clinton by their presidential titles. It’s a matter of legitimacy. Over half of all Americans now believe that fraud affected the outcome of the last Presidential election. The Arizona election audit didn’t prove that the Donald won, as many hoped. But it did prove that we don’t really know who won that state. Given the election shenanigans around the country in November 2020, there is certainly justification to question the outcome. As Democrats are now learning, an inauguration does not bestow legitimacy. Hence, I refuse to use the word combination “President” and “Biden” unless the election is fully investigated and litigated. That will never happen, so I’ve been on a quest to find just the right moniker for our current useful idiot in the Oval Office.
Many writers (myself included) have referred to Joe as President Asterisk – or President * for short. It’s meaning is self-explanatory (see above explanation of legitimacy vs inauguration). Our current President will always have an asterisk (or similar footnote) in the history books as the one president whose election remains questioned. But that reference fails to capture how truly awful Joe is. It is possible to be illegitimate, and still be competent – but he isn’t.
I’ve referred to Joe as President Gremlin a number of times. A gremlin is a mischievous mythical creature that’s said to cause trouble to machinery. It’s a monkey wrench in the precision machinery, or a Biden in our national machinery. According to mythology, gremlins transform from cute cuddly creatures into malicious destroyers if they’re given water. There’s no word on if Joe’s handlers have given him any water, but he certainly breaks everything he touches.
- Broken border – check
- Broken domestic energy production – check
- Broken economy – check
- Broken national security – check
In under a year, he even started a civil war amongst the Democrats (note the Rashida Tlaib rebuttal to Joe’s State of the Union Speech). So, he even broke his own party. With all the water he must have had, I hope he doesn’t have a bedtime “accident.”
The Dems actually like to promote the nickname “Lunch-Bucket Joe.” He’s just an average blue-collar guy that understands the concerns of working Americans. He even claims he’s been a coal miner and a truck driver. What total horse hockey. The last time Joe carried a lunch-bucket, it had a picture of a mouse and his girlfriend on it, and he was on his way to the 3rd grade. He has been on the government payroll for his entire adult life (local, state, federal, China, Ukraine, or Russia). As a government employee, he has amassed a $9 million fortune and owns two mansions. His knowledge of working Americans is limited to how much he pays them to maintain his various estates. Given his border policies, he seems to be looking for cheaper labor.
We could call him PINO (President In Name Only) Biden. He did say he’s part of the Harris administration – raising the question of who’s actually in charge. At best, he’s a part time president. He calls a lid at 3:00 every afternoon for his daily ice cream run. That leaves at least 15 hours a day that someone else is holding down the fort. But, as long as he keeps his mouth shut, he has a great tailor, and looks presidential. Maybe he’s a President In Suit Only (PISO).
In a televised July 2021 address, Joe appeared with food stuck to his chin. An aide tried to rescue him by passing him a note which read, “Sir. There is something on your chin.” Joe being Joe, he held the note up backwards for the camera, so his viewing audience could read it. Some have since referred to him as Joe Chin. Unfortunately, that nickname has a horrible double meaning. I can’t express how malicious and racist this moniker is given its implication that Joe is somehow connected to the Chinese. Joe is in no way in the pocket of the Chinese. He earned his 9 million bucks the old-fashioned way – congressional insider trading. In fact, his son Hunter earned every penny he made from the people’s paradise of China through ingenuity and hard work – and from the Ukraine and Russia too. In fact, he has never been in the money for influence business. Hunter’s laptop reference to “10 percent goes to the big guy” is a reference to Joe’s charitable giving and in no way implies any illegal activity. Hunter, like his father is just a regular guy that works hard to make an honest living. He has recently transitioned to the art world, where hard work and dedication have earned him a place among the world’s best artists – commanding up to half a million bucks per painting – from the Chinese.
I’ve never used the moniker, but some seditious white supremacists have referred to Joe as “Pedo Joe.” He does tend to make sexualized comments about little girls. He’s also been known to do a bit of inappropriate hugging. But, none of that makes him a pedophile – it makes him a creep. Of course, he does tend to do that stuff on camera – which also makes him an idiot. We may need to reassess this nickname if his daughter’s diary ever becomes public – but that won’t happen with the FBI on the case.
How about President Cockwomble? Legend has it that the word originated in Scotland in an online chat about football (soccer for us American yahoos). Per the Urban Dictionary, a cockwomble is:
A person, usually male, prone to making outrageously stupid statements and/or inappropriate behavior while generally having a very high opinion of their own wisdom and importance.
Oh yeah, I think that captures it all.
- Male – check, he, him, and his are his preferred pronouns
- Prone to stupid statements – check
- Behaves inappropriately – yup
- High opinion of his own wisdom – the man actually thinks he’s presidential material, so heck yes
I think we have a winner. It’s just too perfect. President Cockwomble it is. My colleague, Dave Agusta, has suggested that we embrace the British tradition combining royal titles with places of birth. That would make Joe’s long title: President Asterisk, Cockwomble of Scranton.
PS: We may still need to reconsider “Pedo Joe” if the FBI ever concludes their multi-year investigation of the biggest heist of the 21st century – the theft of Ashley’s diary.
This article was first published by The Blue State Conservative.
Author Bio: John Green is a political refugee from Minnesota, now residing in Idaho. He currently writes at the American Free News Network and The Blue State Conservative. He can be followed on Facebook or reached at greenjeg@gmail.com.
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I found it almost impossible to write President Biden in the beginning. It still doesn’t come easily. The man has always been a buffoon. But with his slide into dementia, he’s become dangerous.
A dangerous buffoon, who was never very smart, but thinks he is, and is sliding into dementia. What could be more dangerous.
Alas! On my poor site — which you should be reading every day! — I use honorifics when referring to people, and I do use “Mr Biden” as required, “Mr Putin” and even “Mrs Clinton,” but I, too, kind of choke up when I have to refer to “President Biden.”
No, it’s not that I believe he won the election due to fraud; I do not. Rather, I believe that the ridiculous expansion of unchecked and unverified mail in balloting, pushed by so many states due to the COVID-19 panicdemic, pushed many people who were normally too lazy to go to the polls to actually vote, and that’s what led to his victory.
Rather, my reluctance — which I do force myself to overcome at times — is due to the fact he is such a lousy President. someone who makes Jimmy Carter and Barack Obama look good by comparison. To me, he is the dummkopf from Delaware!
I agree with your take on the election. But I happen to consider all of that mail in balloting part of the fraud. Much of it was done against the will of state legislatures. In some cases, the secretaries of state entered into consent decrees with those pushing the mail in balloting. That would be people who wanted mail in balloting, agreeing with other people who wanted mail in balloting, to get around state restrictions on mail in balloting, to fool the courts. I consider that fraud even though it may not meet the legal definition.
The good people of Scranton would never wish to see that title conveyed. I’m not sure my suggestion of a title should be mentioned without an asterisk, or two, about the thief. He is most definitely not the President, as far as I am concerned.
Perhaps the appropriate title he should have is “Prisoner #….”, after he would be convicted for treason. After he swore an oath to protect and defend the Constitution, all he has done is betray it. That is treason, no matter how many votes he “won” by.