Every year, millions of people endure the biannual stupidity of Daylight Saving Time (DST), and we have a handful of historical geniuses to thank for this life-ruining ritual. Sure, they thought they were solving big problems, but instead, they handed future generations a headache disguised as innovation. Benjamin Franklin joked about saving candles by waking up earlier, and people were dumb enough to run with it. Yes, folks, this is why satire needs a disclaimer: Franklin was trolling, but the world took him seriously. And here we are, centuries later, living his joke as reality.
Let’s not forget George Hudson, the entomologist from New Zealand who wanted more daylight to collect bugs. Bugs. This guy rearranged human sleep cycles for insects. His brilliant idea eventually snowballed into one of the most pointless societal disruptions ever devised. Imagine being so into your hobby that you screw over billions of people every year. Bravo, George. You’ve given us heart attacks, car crashes, and sleep deprivation, all so you could get a better look at beetles after work. Truly the MVP of bad ideas.
Then there’s William Willett, the British builder who took DST to the next level. Upset that people were sleeping in during summer mornings, Willett decided the best solution was to change everyone’s clocks. Not their routines—their clocks. He didn’t invent alarm clocks or suggest personal accountability; no, he lobbied for the entire world to turn time into a circus act. His idea didn’t gain much traction in his lifetime, but Germany picked it up during World War I to “save fuel.” Because what better way to fight a war than to confuse everyone’s internal clocks?
Fast forward to today, and the stupidity continues. Modern science has thoroughly debunked any significant energy savings from DST, and studies show it increases accidents, heart attacks, and even mental health issues. But hey, why let facts get in the way of tradition? Governments everywhere cling to DST like a bad habit they just can’t quit. At this point, you’d think we were honoring some sacred rite instead of perpetuating the legacy of a few historical morons who didn’t think this through.
So, next time you’re stumbling through your day after losing an hour of sleep, just remember: your misery was set in motion by old men who thought messing with time was a good idea. Their “innovation” has killed people, disrupted lives, and made the world just a little more miserable twice a year. We should have ended this nonsense decades ago, but instead, we keep turning our clocks forward and back, like obedient little lemmings. Well done, humanity. Well done.
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