We love to brag that the Constitution keeps us free from a national religion. No pope in Washington. No king demanding tithes. No state-sanctioned creed. But let’s stop pretending: America has a religion. And many in this country practice it. It’s not Christianity, Judaism, Islam, or Buddhism. It’s Satanism.
Not the goat-head, robe-wearing kind. The philosophy kind. The kind Anton LaVey scribbled down in the 1960s when he founded the Church of Satan and declared: “Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence.” Translation? “If it feels good, do it.” That’s the real American gospel today.
The Hippie Revolution Never Ended
We act like the Woodstock crowd grew up, got jobs, and joined the PTA. They didn’t. They just moved their slogans into Madison Avenue ads and Hollywood scripts. The hippie mantra of the ‘60s—“do your own thing”—is now the banner over our entire culture. Marriage? Optional. Sex? Anything goes. Responsibility? Out of style. Self-control? Oppressive. It’s not rebellion anymore; it’s the air we breathe.
Hedonism Is Our Sacrament
Americans won’t crack open a Satanic Bible, but they live by its first commandment every day: indulge. From fast food to porn, from Instagram fame to binge-watching, we treat pleasure like a constitutional right. Companies literally market sin as self-care. Every ad screams the same sermon: “You deserve it. Buy it. Eat it. Sleep with it.”
Nihilism With a Smile
LaVeyan Satanism also teaches that humans are just animals, death is the end, and meaning is whatever you make it. That nihilism is now mainstream pop wisdom. Only we’ve rebranded it: “You only live once.” “Live your truth.” “Follow your heart.” It sounds cheery until you realize it’s the exact same philosophy that says life is pointless, morality is fake, and the grave has the last word.
The Church of the Self
So no, America doesn’t have a state church of crosses and hymnals. Our church has mirrors. Our sermons are Instagram captions. Our sacraments are shopping sprees and hookup culture. Our priests are celebrities. And our god? Ourselves. The creed of the land is simple: “Me first, me last, me only.”
Call It What It Is
Most Americans would recoil if you told them they’re practicing Satanism. But that’s exactly what they’re doing. LaVey would laugh at how thoroughly his anti-values have conquered a nation that still thinks it’s “Judeo-Christian.” The truth is harsher: our national faith is selfishness. Our altar is ego. Our destiny is nihilism with a Netflix subscription.
So yes, the Constitution still forbids a national religion. But the culture has already chosen one. And the country is worshiping at its altar every single day.
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