Q: Sean!!! Are you going to write anything about how poorly Ingrid Andress sang our national anthem at the Home Run Derby? It’s an attack on our country!!! If you stay silent on this you are a complete wuss!!!!
A:
Q: My dad let me read one of your books, I finished it and gave it a one-star review on Amazon… It was so hard to get through such a weird mess… I left you a bad review and, believe me, I don’t enjoy leaving bad reviews.
A: I can see how hard this is for you.
Q: How do you write something new everyday? Or the better question is, WHY do you write everyday when nobody *#$%ing cares what you have to say? Who even are you?
A: I think you meant “every day.” Maybe you should turn autocorrekt of
Q: Sean, your a fool. You wrote that you believed God rescued you from a traffic accident. If that were true, then God chose NOT to save millions of other people who have met tragic ends, such as the passengers on the Titanic?
A: It’s you’re, not “your.”
Q: I saw your band playing on Facebook, and you guys really suck.
A: You should see us when we drink.
Q: I don’t know how I stumbled on one of this author’s books… But I wish I had those three hours of my life back.
A: Just think. You could’ve been watching “Titanic.”
Q: You are fond of saying how much you love America, I wonder if you realize how screwed up this &*$# country is? How can you still love something so $%&*ing dysfunctional?
A: You should meet my family sometime.
Q: I just have one word of criticism: Your work is all the same. Someone told me you were a columnist, but I disagree. A columnist finds something new to talk about. All you do is repeat yourself and write about your dogs and random kids and Waffle House.
A: You’re wrong. Sometimes I also write about Cracker Barrel.
Q: Last night I decided to write to you after reading something you’d written about angels. Apparently I disagree with everything you believe… Angels are NOT REAL! And the fact that you claim most Americans believe in angels is more than enough evidence to prove they are not real. Anything “most Americans” believe in is probably a crock of lies.
A: Like the First Amendment?
Q: How can you think the South is so great? How can you not be ashamed of being from there? I would be SO, SO embarrassed if I were from the South.
A: Trust me, we’d all be more embarrassed for you.
Q: I’m an award-winning journalist… Currently I work as an adjunct professor at a community college. One of my students brought in one of your essays because he was confused, thinking it was actual journalism. I had to correct him immediately. What is found on Facebook is not journalism… So my question is: How much of your writing is true, and how much is complete bull excrement?
A: You first.
Q: My mom is turning 76 tomorrow, and her favorite thing to read is when you respond to mean comments in a column. Her name is Phyllis, maybe you could write something for her? Honestly, anything you can do, no matter how small, will totally make her day.
A: I’ll see what I can do.
Questions: SeanDietrich@gmail.co
Visit the Sean of the South Website
Find out where you can see Sean live.
Originally published on Sean’s website. Republished here with permission.
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