Parody As a Weapon: Part XXXIV

Patsy Cline, I Go Out Walking’ YouTube ScreenGrab

Earlier this month, in Part XXXIII, while still in the realm of song parody, we reviewed the left’s inability to tell men from women, boys from girls, and innies from outies. This week, we remain in the comfortable and familiar environs of song parody, as we follow the steps of the White House staff as they are required to respond to the current occupant’s gaffes.

On the last Saturday in March, the current occupant of the White Hose gave a speech in Poland after meeting with refugees fleeing Putin’s invasion of Ukraine. After completing his prepared remarks, Biden strayed from his script, and invoked God’s name and called for Putin’s removal from office. As his words seemed to convey the message that the policy of the US with respect to Russia was one of regime change, White House staff was immediately required to walk back his remarks, though Biden himself claimed that they weren’t doing so, and then promptly reframed his words as an expression of moral outrage, rather than a demand that Putin “cannot remain in power”.

Of course, this was not the only confusion that Biden caused by his utterances during the current unpleasantness. Biden told US troops in the 82nd Airborne deployed to Poland of the sights they would observe in Ukraine, even though there has been no authorization to send them there. Biden also told the press that should Putin’s forces use chemical weapons, the US would respond “in kind”, not apparently realizing that his choice of words was announcing that the US response would be to use chemical weapons against Russia. When asked about these gaffes, Biden revealed US troops were training Ukrainian troops in Poland, apparently spontaneously declassifying information previously unreleased. It should surprise no one, though, that a serial fabulist who constantly misuses the word “literally” would have difficulty understanding the literal meaning of his own verbal outbursts.

Upon his return to the US, Biden has continued his tradition of interacting with crowds through false claims of his own biography. He recently claimed falsely once again that he used to drive a truck. One of the problems encountered by pathological liars is that they lose track of their lies, and confuse the details of the events they invent. It is a fact that Biden’s first wife and one child were killed by a truck in 1972, and Biden has falsely claimed that the driver was intoxicated, when in fact he was cleared of responsibility for the collision in an investigation by Delaware State Police.

Of course, this is not the first time that Joe Biden has had difficulty with details getting in the way of a good story. While in law school, the former vice president under Barack Obama received a failing grade in a class for taking credit for the work of others (i.e. plagiarism) without proper attribution. Biden has reportedly claimed this was due to his lack of understanding of footnotes, though a more critical look at his career seems to suggest that Joe Biden lacks understanding of many things, with the nature of the truth being at or near the top of the list.

Many of Biden’s fabulist utterances are largely harmless attempts to make him appear either better as a person or closer to where he perceives his audience to be, such as his story of his confrontation as a teenage lifeguard with Corn Pop and his rusty razor (leaving out the detail that his nemesis was 5’ 3 ½ ” and 135 pounds) or his invented tales of his civil rights sit-ins and HBCU attendance. As a senator, there was limited damage that he could do as he spun his tall tales after a lunch with the Kiwanis Club or at a public works ribbon cutting.

As someone currently occupying the office of President of the United States, though, Biden’s relationship with reality and the truth are under much more scrutiny, and he continues to be lacking in this regard. While it is the belief of a large plurality that his staff are the ones who are actually setting and controlling US policy, it is certainly clear that they are the ones forced to clean up after his loose lips.

When one considers all the walking back of his remarks that his staff is required to do, it is not difficult to imagine that this is a task required around the clock. Once one thinks of such movement in the early hours of the a.m., the musical stylings of the late, great cross-over country/ pop singer Patsy Cline comes to mind, with her hit “Walking After Midnight” seeming to be a worthy tune to appropriate to memorialize the exercise that Biden is requiring his staff to engage in:

They go out walkin’ back his remarks
Each time he ad libs
Just like he likes to do, They’re always walkin’
back his remarks, ‘cause they’re not true

As far as Putin he wants regime change
Well, that’s just real strange
If that’s what he wants to do, They’re always walkin’
back his remarks, ‘cause they’re not true

At times he’ll blurt out our state secrets
Much to his staff’s regrets
They just can’t keep his mouth shut
And in his mushy weak brain
Thinks our troops will go to Ukraine
He keeps talking out of his butt

They’re always walkin’ back his remarks
Each time he ad libs
Just like he likes to do, They’re always walkin’
back his remarks, ‘cause they’re not true

His words can fertilize a big crop
Just like his tale of Corn Pop
Or back when he once drove a truck
But don’t you know this old fool
No longer speaks of law school
When he thought footnotes were bad luck

They’re always walkin’ back his remarks
Each time he ad libs
Just like he likes to do, They’re always walkin’
back his remarks, ‘cause they’re not true

 

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