Those who know me know that I write my thoughts, but I am not a whiner. So some thoughts about the retirement process, and if anything comes across as whining, you know me better than that. Just raw thoughts.
First, what they say is true… retirement from the military is a process, not an event. It takes more time, research, and planning than I expected. At least if you want to be conscientious, which I do. For instance, which is the best TriCare option to choose for future needs? That takes some reading and comparisons. And it turns out that it is a very personal choice. My family has particular needs that are ongoing, and that influences the choice. But when is the right time to make the switch? Not yet. I know that much.
And then there are the purely practical questions like when to turn in gear and turn in the ID Card. I still have no clue on those points, but I’m working it.
Then there is the question of the future routine and future purpose in life. There is a quote that says something like: “For those who have fought four it, life has a flavor the protected will never know.” But does it really? It seems to me that for those who have fought for it, the rest of life has a dullness that the protected could never understand. At least, that is my inclination some days. Other days, there is a sense of relief that I will never again have to travel to a war zone. And don’t get me wrong… my wartime experience is quite mild and lame compared to so many others. I am not claiming to be shit compared to them. Just thinking out loud, as it were.
But purpose. People need a purpose to feel like their lives have meaning. I suspect (anecdotally without study) that many of the 22-a-day do what they did because they lost their sense of purpose and never found a new one. With a sense of purpose, you lick your wounds and drive on. Without a sense of purpose, you lick your wounds and dwell on them. And in dwelling on them, it becomes a downward spiral that can only truly be overcome with a renewed sense of purpose. I don’t know if that is true. It is just a thought.
As I go through this process, it is a manic-depressive process. You wake up ready to “hit it,” only to realize that there is nothing to hit. Not yet, anyway. Not until I figure that piece out. And when work calls, it is a relief… back to a purpose! For this task or that, but it does not drive the ball forward. It is necessary to take care of the Team so long as I can, but it is a crutch — an escape from having to figure out what is next.
Just some random thoughts on the process
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