Parody As a Weapon Part CIII

Parody As a Weapon Part CIII

Trigger Warning: The following article and song parody feature graphic descriptions of sexual activity inappropriate for children and minors. Reader Discretion is advised.

In Part CII, we visited the buffet of Jimmy Buffett songs, to select those that reflect the lack of sunshine and good sailing brought on by the current occupant of the White House. This week, we will take a necessarily censored look at a real housewife who is taking a run at another House, while previously taking reality TV to its rawest level.

Readers of the Washington Post and Associated Press were treated to an unusually risqué story this month in the usually stodgy world of state politics. Susanna Gibson, who won the democrat primary earlier this year for nominee to the Virginia Commonwealth House of Delegates for the 57th District, had previously been engaging in a pay to play scheme of a different kind. As late as 2022, Mrs. Gibson and her attorney husband had been featured performers on a pornographic online streaming platform known as Chaturbate, where for extra fees in the form of tips, viewers could pay to see her urinate or have her husband penetrate her anally.

Given that the district Mrs. Gibson seeks to represent includes an area known as Short Pump, one can begin to imagine the confusion that could arise from her former part time work and the new position she is seeking. Similarly, a neighboring community is named Tuckahoe, so it is not hard to imagine what type of mishaps a typographical error or mispronunciation could bring forth should she win the office she seeks.

Despite this revelation in the national as well as conservative press, Mrs. Gibson defiantly continues her campaign, while condemning and threatening prosecution as sex criminals engaged in revenge porn to those who have revealed her previous part time employment. While her campaign website (not to be confused with the sites that include her controversial commercial sex performances) reveals that Mrs. Gibson (who has two children) is a champion of reproductive rights, and the video record reflects that she has at last a passing familiarity with how the whole process is initiated.

Both Mrs. Gibson’s campaign website and the articles point out that she is employed full time as a nurse practitioner, and between her earnings in that profession and her husband’s income as a lawyer, one would think that they would have sufficient resources to finance upper middle class lifestyles. Apparently Bidenomics has been so devastating that they’ve needed to engage in this profitable part time gig to make up for the ravages of inflation, though Mrs. Gibson has alluded that her customers are contributing to a good cause. Given that the archives suggest that she was engaging in streaming sex acts for money in September of 2022, after she launched her primary campaign for the House of Delegates, it is not beyond the realm of possibility that her husband insisted that she fund her campaign in a way that would otherwise not impact the family’s finances. If this is revealed to be the case, eventually in the Virginia suburbs of the District of Columbia, Andrew McCabe will be kicking himself that he settled only for Terry McAuliffe’s cash for his wife’s political campaign.

While this topic and accompanying article might not be what most on the right consider to be family friendly”, an organization from the other side of the political spectrum named Family Friendly Virginia has given the part time sex worker their seal of approval. This certainly stands the traditional idea of family friendly on its head, as the left seems to value teaching children from kindergarten to middle school about the sex acts Mrs. Gibson performed for tips on line, while banning American literary classics such as Huckleberry Flynn as unfit for children due to the racist language and themes contained therein.

Another American classic frequently banned due to racist language is composer Stephen Foster. While the man credited with being America’s first composer was born and lived above the Mason-Dixon Line most of his brief life, his lyrics reflected southern themes and frequently portrayed black people in a negatively stereotypical light not uncommon in the antebellum US, as Foster died before the passage of the 13th Amendment. Of course, clever writers in the 20th century found ways to turn the tables, but largely Mr. Foster’s music is ignored in current times. Nevertheless, I will appropriate one of his most famous songs Oh, Susanna, and will adapt it to memorialize one of the few occasions where a lawyer and a politician got together to screw each other instead of the voters.

Oh, down south in North Virginia
Delegates will have a race
And you might think the democrat
Somewhere you’ve seen her face
Her name’s Susanna Gibson
Her body is quite fine
She’ll have sex with her husband
If you pay for it online

Oh, Susanna
She won’t perform for free
She will have commercial sex
To help save democracy
Oh, Susanna
Down on her hands and knees
She will pleasure her husband
If you pay her tips and fees

There was a show the other night
For the perverts who are woke
Her husband took Susanna
And tried to make her choke
I can’t say what was in her mouth
Or what got in her eye
It wasn’t Bidenomics
That made Susanna cry

Oh, Susanna
Don’t you cry for me
And those who pay enough in tips
Will get to watch you pee
Oh, Susanna
Your husband won’t hear “No”
For if the viewers pay for it
She must put on a show

Her husband is a lawyer
And Susanna’s in healthcare
Together they don’t earn enough
Unless they charge this fare
To have sex for the money
Will give some people pause
But Susanna’s always willing
To collect for a good cause

Oh, Susanna
Have intercourse for cash
And when opponents criticize
It’s them she tries to bash
Oh, Susanna
Don’t you cry for me
Your ways to gather campaign cash
Will go down in history

When Foster sang of Susanna
Coming on the hill
He never knew an audience
Would pay, their eyes to fill
And if the words there in her mouth
Will help another buy
She’s showing folks from Richmond south
Here’s something else to try

Oh, Susanna
Today’s young democrat
She’s looking to make money
From the thing on which she sat
Oh, Susanna
Don’t you lose your nerve
Here comes a line of voters
Expecting you to serve

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3 thoughts on “Parody As a Weapon Part CIII”

  1. Dem voters had no problem with Bubba abusing Monica, Katherine Willey, Juanita Broddrick, and others, nor any problem with China Joey abusing an intern and swimming nude in front of female Secret Service agents.
    They have no problem with Hillary and Obama leaving Americans to die in Benghazi, nor with China Joey leaving Americans to die in Afghanistan.
    No problem with open borders, high crime rates, doubling cost of gasoline, inflation, and selling Biden to China, Ukraine, etc.
    Given this history, Dem voters will vote for Susanna as they did for Bubba and Biden.
    Maybe Susanna should ask Bubba to campaign for her.

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