Well, well, well—who could have guessed that dumping billions of dollars in military aid into a warzone with zero accountability would lead to, oh I don’t know, those weapons falling into the hands of criminals? Apparently not the Biden administration, which has been throwing U.S. taxpayer-funded weapons at Ukraine like a drunk guy making it rain at a strip club. Now, reports are surfacing that up to half of those weapons may have been resold on the black market—some making their way into the hands of Mexican drug cartels. You know, the same murderous gangs that run our southern border like a toll booth and make life miserable for Border Patrol and law enforcement. But hey, I’m sure this will turn out just fine!
For those who might be too young to remember, Iran-Contra was the last time our brilliant government “accidentally” armed the wrong people. Back in the 1980s, the Reagan administration got caught selling weapons to Iran (yes, Iran, the same country that chants ‘Death to America’ every other Tuesday) and using the profits to fund the Contras in Nicaragua. Bad optics, sure, but at least those weapons were meant for an actual political strategy. Fast forward to 2025, and here we are again—only this time, the weapons we gave away for “democracy” are being used to outgun U.S. law enforcement at the border. Who knew helping Ukraine could mean cartel hitmen would get brand-new American rifles to use against our own agents?
And let’s be real—this isn’t just a mistake. This is criminally stupid. The Biden administration handed pallets of military gear to a country known for corruption, war profiteering, and shady arms deals, and now we’re supposed to act shocked that some of it “disappeared” into the wrong hands? It’s like giving your entire bank account to a Nigerian prince and being surprised when you don’t get a return on investment. The cartels are now sitting on U.S. military-grade firepower, while American police officers and Border Patrol agents are stuck with whatever their underfunded departments can scrounge up.
But don’t worry—our fearless leaders at the CIA will definitely get this under control. Just like they’re totally on top of border security, inflation, and foreign policy. Meanwhile, Mexican drug cartels are basically an army at this point, and if these reports are true, they’re now armed to the teeth with American weapons, courtesy of the people who swear they’re keeping us safe. So the next time a cartel ambushes law enforcement with military-grade rifles that should be in Ukraine, just remember: it’s not an international scandal, it’s just Bidenomics in action!
At the end of the day, this is worse than Iran-Contra because at least back then, there was some strategic intent. Now, we’re just dumping weapons into a war zone and hoping for the best, while criminals cash in on American stupidity. So congratulations, Washington—you managed to make the 1980s look responsible. Can’t wait to see what brilliant foreign policy move is next! Maybe we’ll start arming Somali pirates or giving surface-to-air missiles to street gangs in Chicago? Nothing would surprise me at this point.
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