The Idiot, The Atlas, and The Algorithm is a A Three-Part Satirical Series on the Glorious Decline of American Civilization, Today: Part 1: The Decline and Fall of the United States of Influencers
America, once a land of pioneers and innovators, is now governed by people who don’t know how to change a tire but can sure explain why math is a tool of systemic oppression. The President, Twitch streamer Logan X Æ A-12 Musk-Kardashian, spends most of his time live-streaming Call of Duty and issuing executive orders via Snapchat filters. The Federal Reserve, under the direction of a former OnlyFans model-turned-Treasury Secretary, has officially adopted the “Vibes-Based Economy”, where money is printed based on manifestation energy and positive self-talk.
Meanwhile, the government’s Algorithmic Bureau of Fairness & Feelings (AFF) ensures that no one ever feels inadequate by adjusting every aspect of life to the lowest common denominator. Job applications no longer ask for skills but instead require an “Emotional Resilience Score” based on how well you handled being ghosted by your ex. IQ tests have been replaced with TikTok dance challenges. College is free, but degrees are illegal because knowledge is “gatekeeping.”
Enter Joe Normalman, a low-level engineer working for Costco’s Department of Advanced AI Research and Bulk Cereal Logistics. Joe still has the dangerous ability to think critically, though he keeps this secret to avoid being doxxed as an “intelligence supremacist.” But lately, he can’t ignore the signs of decline—his boss recently got promoted after filing a hostile work environment complaint against gravity, and Congress has declared long division to be a hate crime.
One night, Joe meets a mysterious figure known as Lex Galtpheus, an eccentric genius who smells like old books and tax loopholes. Lex gives him a choice:
• Take the Blue Pill and continue living in a world where Gatorade is prescribed as medicine.
• Take the Red Pill and see reality as it truly is.
Joe gulps down the Red Pill like a shot of bourbon. And that’s when everything changes.
***
If you enjoyed this article, then please REPOST or SHARE with others; encourage them to follow AFNN. If you’d like to become a citizen contributor for AFNN, contact us at managingeditor@afnn.us Help keep us ad-free by donating here.
Substack: American Free News Network Substack
Truth Social: @AFNN_USA
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/afnnusa
Telegram: https://t.me/joinchat/2_-GAzcXmIRjODNh
Twitter: https://twitter.com/AfnnUsa
GETTR: https://gettr.com/user/AFNN_USA
CloutHub: @AFNN_USA