Once upon a time in the magical land of Shareholder Value, a pharmaceutical giant named Merck gazed deep into the void of human suffering and asked the question all noble drugmakers must ask: “How can we make arthritis treatment more profitable than oil?” The answer, as it turns out, was Vioxx—a shiny, new painkiller that not only promised relief from joint pain, but also came with a bonus game of cardiovascular Russian roulette.
Vioxx hit the market in 1999, and oh baby, it was the belle of the Big Pharma ball. With its COX-2 inhibitor powers, it was supposed to be kinder to your stomach lining than those peasant pills like ibuprofen. But there was a little hiccup: a tiny, insignificant issue with increased risk of heart attacks and strokes. You know, minor side effects. Like death.
But not to worry—Merck had a solution! Suppress the data. Spin the narrative. Keep the party going. In internal documents (which only later became courtroom wallpaper), Merck’s strategy became clear: if you can’t fix the science, fix the messaging. The now-infamous VIGOR trial conveniently left out the part where people dropped dead, while PR teams told the public Vioxx was “as gentle as a lullaby.” If you died? Maybe you just weren’t taking enough.
And the FDA? Well, they were off somewhere organizing their sock drawers. One brave FDA scientist, Dr. David Graham, tried to sound the alarm—saying Vioxx may have caused up to 60,000 deaths. But Big Pharma’s lobbyists were louder than a toddler with a toy chainsaw.
Eventually, in 2004, with lawsuits stacking up like unpaid parking tickets, Merck heroically “voluntarily” pulled Vioxx from the market. Translation: “We got caught.”
But don’t worry about Merck. They didn’t walk away empty-handed. No, they walked away with $11 billion in revenue from Vioxx—and just a $4.85 billion slap on the wrist in settlements. That’s not justice. That’s cost of doing business. In fact, it’s such a good deal, it probably comes bundled with a gold watch and a ticket to Davos.
Meanwhile, tens of thousands of families were left wondering why a drug approved to relieve pain ended up creating it.
Moral of the Story?
If your business model depends on ignoring science, suppressing data, and marketing death as relief, congrats! You’re not a criminal—you’re a CEO.
In Big Pharma, side effects may include profit margins, stock options, and the occasional congressional hearing.
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