In February, President Trump joked at a closed-door Alfalfa Club dinner, “We’re not going to invade Greenland. We’re going to buy it.”
Alas there is no Buckwheat Club or even a Spanky Club.
He explained, “It’s never been my intention to make Greenland the 51st state. I want to make Canada the 51st state. Greenland will be the 52nd state. Venezuela can be 53rd.”
Trump’s second presidency has been a whirlwind in a tornado with a hurricane coming. His foreign policy consists of making demands that make Napoleon XIV seem sane.
But no one is coming to take him away, ha ha.
Instead, Trump sends in Marco Rubio—or whomever—after softening the ground for negotiations. I always trust the man who wrote the book on the art of the deal.
Trump began by telling Justin Trudeau that he was going to make Canada the 51st state. Trump called him governor.
[The actual governor is Mary Simon. King Charles III appointed her on the advice of the prime minister. She gives royal assent to legislation, summons parliament, and is commander in chief of the Canadian Armed Forces. Even if she sees her office as largely ceremonial, the power rests with her because King Charles is the King of Canada, not the prime minister.]
Earlier, in 2029, Trump said has he wanted to buy Greenland and idea that popped up again in 2025 and freaked out our frenemies in NATO. The He-Man Trump-Haters Club held an exercise on Greenland without the USA. It was a disaster. 150 troops showed up. One missile would take them out.
Then in January, Operation Absolute Revolve arrested Maduro and killed his Cuban bodyguards. They went home in small cremation boxes.
Now Trump says he may annex Venezuela.
I know what he’s after.
Women.
When he owned the Miss Universe pageant, four of the winners were from Venezuela. There have been none since.
The first one was a problem. She won and turned into an eating machine (his words).
Trump used this unsightly weight gain to his advantage.
He publicly criticized her for gaining weight after winning 40 to 55 pounds after winning the title. She said he called her Miss Piggy. Trump held a press event where she exercised in front of cameras as he commented on her weight.
But actually his target now is oil. Venezuela has the largest proven oil reserves in the world with an estimated worth of $18 trillion at $65 a barrel. It is now $100 a barrel. He wants in on the deal.
On Monday, he told John Roberts on Fox News, “John, I just want to tell you. I’m very serious about this. So you could talk about this. I’m serious about beginning a process to make Venezuela the 51st state.”
Delcy Rodríguez (Venezuela’s acting president) responded, “That is not foreseen, it would never be foreseen, because if there is one thing we Venezuelans have, it is that we love our process of independence, we love our heroes and heroines of independence. And we will continue to defend our integrity, our sovereignty, our independence; our history is a history of glory of men and women who gave their lives to make us not a colony, but a free country.”
Venezuela will not be our 51st state but this is a sign that negotiations with her are not going as well as Trump wants.
Alternatively, the deal is done and he is presenting her with a way to look tough while making concessions on oil, which is a national treasure in her country.
It is a treasure that is wasted because while it ranks No. 1 in potential, it is 23rd in actual production. Before 1976, when nationalization of its oil production began, Venezuela ranked in 3rd in production and was the world’s top exporter. But with prosperity comes communism.
Now Venezuela needs investment to fix its production and investment means concessions.
Whichever possibility is true, always bear in mind that Trump’s opening demand is not what he will end up with. If you want $2 million for a house, ask for $5 million.
As for Canada, it owes its soul to the Red China store. The Carney carnival that passes for a federal government has gone out of its way not to negotiate with the Trump regime for a trade deal. Carney plans to wait out Trump and deal directly with President Newsom. Or President AOC. Or President Schiff.
Alberta as the 51st state is a pipeline dream. While separation may get on the ballot, I just don’t see Alberta leaving Canada. And why would we need it? Sure, the province ranks 4th in oil production worldwide, but we already get 80% of that oil without giving Democrats two more seats in the Senate and seven more in the House. Alberta is no more conservative than Massachusetts.
The administration met with separatists? Trump talks to Mayor Mamdani.
Greenland and the USA are negotiating to have more U.S. bases on the icy island as the reality sets in that Greenland needs us to stave off a Russian and Red Chinese attack.
Trump treats negotiation with the seriousness of a war. His statements are part of the fog of his war.
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This article first appeared on Don Surber’s Substack. Reprinted here with permission.
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