One of the reasons I am pro-nuclear family is because I understand how single-parenthood is a vulnerability that is exploited by predators who want access to children.
Lately, we’ve been talking about grooming in relation to teachers and what they introduce to children but children can be groomed by other adult figures in their lives. Some of these other adult figures are able to groom because of the child’s parental relationship.
Most single-parent homes are homes where the mother has primary care of the child. She can’t be in two places at once and they often need to rely on other people or institutions to help in the raising process. This requires allowing other adults access to their children.
Sometimes this person is a male adult figure who is not her child’s biological father. Predators use these types of women to gain access to their children. Raising a child by yourself isn’t easy and neither is dating with children. A man who accepts you & your children are ideal.
From the woman’s perspective, finding a man to who she’s attracted, likes children, and doesn’t mind picking up where their father left off sounds like a blessing (and it could be). However, predators understand this is what is sought after by these women & exploit it.
This is disturbing to say but some men purposefully look for vulnerable & desperate single mothers to prey upon. They look for women who are tired of being alone & want ‘help’. They will play the part & make you fall in love with them so you won’t question their odd behavior.
The pinnacle of vulnerability is when the mother moves these men into the home with their children, giving them full access to their children. Now he can watch the kids when she has to run errands instead of a babysitter. He knows your freedom gives him the opportunity to groom.
Sexual grooming of children takes time and opportunity for a predator. The longer they have the more successful they’ll be. The more trust the mother has in them, the less she’ll question his motives & the changes in their children.
Outside of a romantic relationship, maybe the mother needs to lean on someone close to her to watch her children when she isn’t available. We’ve all heard the trope of the Uncle doing inappropriate things with the kids; this is a predator who has exploited their family’s trust.
Here are some interesting stats:
A child with a biological mother who lives alone is 14 times more likely to suffer abuse.
A child with a biological father who lives alone is 20 times more likely to suffer abuse.
A child with biological parents who are cohabitating but not married is 20 times more likely to suffer abuse.
A child with a biological mother who is living with a man who is not the child’s father is 33 times more likely to suffer abuse.
Children of single parents had 77 percent greater risk of being harmed by physical abuse than children living with both parents. (Source: National Incidence Study)
No matter how you slice it, single parenthood is a major vulnerability to the safety of our children.
Logically & statistically, intact families provide the best possible outcomes for children, including their safety from abuse of all kinds. The nuclear family provides the best possible shielding from groomers & predators because of their availability to their children.
This article first appeared at published at Wrong Speak Publishing. Reprinted here with permission.
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