Political Parody As a Weapon Part LXII

Political Parody As a Weapon Part LXII; If you don’t have anything good to say about someone, maybe the Washington Post can help.

Previously, in Part LXI, an Adam Sandler pop rage tune against a fictional nemesis was reprogrammed to spoof a radical self-identified moderate member of the deep state. This week, there will be another step away the comfort zone of song parody with a journey into the twisted world of modern journalistic practices.

At the University of Virginia (UVA) this week, there was another mass killing. A student and former member of the football team allegedly shot to death three current members of the gridiron squad and wounded two others.

A curious thing happened in the wake of this mass murder, though. Once the identity and demographic characteristics of the shooter became apparent, there was a departure from the standard post killing spree response by the press. The Washington Post had tapped into a 2018 feature article from the Richmond Times-Dispatch about the alleged shooter that pointed to his success in overcoming the challenges of an urban youth growing up exposed to the temptations of crime and gang life by enrolling at UVA and playing football there, featuring the headline “Suspected U-Va Gunman Had Troubled Childhood, Then Flourished”.

Criticism quickly followed from the Washington Examiner. Now the link to the article on Monday features a different headline: “Accused U-Va. gunman was scrutinized by threat assessment team for weapon”. Apparently, the puff piece as headlined was too much for the Washington Post editors to leave standing as more information became available.

While some might be quick to conclude that the original article was a reflection of left wing bias on the part of the Washington Post writing staff, this could just as likely be used to make a conclusion in the other direction, i.e. the WaPo folks saw the glass as half full instead of half empty, and were willing to give this once troubled once flourishing now accused killer the benefit of the doubt. Given that in the US, a defendant is entitled to a presumption of innocence, this is not altogether a bad thing. As such, I will offer the following ledes for the Wapo from various points in the process of some other famous accused shooter and killers that folks might be familiar with, such as this potential puff piece from November 23, 1963:

A crusader against police brutality and government overreach is in custody at the Dallas Police Department, where family members are concerned about his safety. Marine veteran and world traveler Lee H. Oswald was snatched from a local movie theater during a screening of “War is Hell” by Officer McDonald of the Dallas police, where it is alleged that Oswald’s 8^th, 2^nd and 4^th Amendment rights were violated as he was taken into custody. Supporters have indicated that Oswald had earlier successfully defended himself against similar attempts to violate these rights by Officer J.D. Tippit, but the officer was unavailable to confirm or clarify this account. Family members have described Oswald, a multilingual Texas educator who aids in the distribution of textbooks, as a long term supporter of socialism, marksmanship and concealed carry rights, and a principled resister of any who might interfere with these. There are additional reports that federal authorities are interested in questioning Oswald about unrelated incidents that occurred near his workplace at Dealey Plaza today.

In order to be bi-partisan, the WaPo could have offered this opening paragraph in April of 1865:

Fans of the stage were shocked today to learn of the reports of the death of actor John Wilkes Booth in a tobacco barn in his adopted home state of Virginia. Booth, who was sought for questioning regarding a recent disruption of a performance at Ford’s Theatre in Washington, D.C., was the victim of unauthorized use of deadly force from the carbine of Sgt. Boston Corbett, a troubled veteran and former prisoner of war who was a member of the vigilante posse searching for the missing star. While supporters of the fiery actor had hoped that Booth’s circumstances might improve with a pardon from President Johnson, who had benefited directly from the thespian’s political activism, this turn of events has put an end to this lobbying. Booth’s supporters are instead looking to refocus their efforts on carbine control, as keeping such weapons of war out of the hands of mentally ill cavalrymen might have prevented the death of this famous performer.

For those more interested in more recent events, would readers have thought it an April Fools prank if they saw this in the paper on that date in 1981:

Film enthusiast John Warnock Hinckley Jr. ran afoul of D.C. law enforcement this week following an unsuccessful movie screen test by the Jodie Foster sycophant that involved former actor and current president Ronald Reagan. Family members familiar with Hinckley’s activities have stated that the youth was interested in a remake the Martin Scorsese film “Taxi Driver”, and was hoping to cast the Commander-in-Chief in the role of “Sport”, the pimp portrayed by Harvey Keitel in the original film version. Investigators who have been briefed on Hinckley’s statements following the bloody encounter outside of the Washington Press Club have reported that he blamed incompetent prop masters and armorers for not properly screening the equipment prior to the impromptu street theater display. White House Press Secretary James Brady was unavailable for comment.

While Alec Baldwin might be kicking himself over a missed opportunity, fans of the recent Netflix series might not have difficulty recognizing what could have been an opening paragraph in their WaPo at the end of November, 1994:

LGBTQC activism suffered a setback today when Wisconsin authorities announced the passing of Jeffrey Dahmer while in state custody. The former Milwaukee resident gained prominence during litigation in the early 1990s when his aggressive outreach into the local homosexual community there drew law enforcement attention due to his appetites and his aggressive recruitment and retention of followers. In addition to the blows he struck on behalf of those who pursued alternative lifestyles, Mr. Dahmer was a veteran who was also involved in exposing incompetence in the criminal justice system, and dabbled in creative cooking techniques and amateur central nervous system exploration.

Of course, no mass murder discussion is complete with bringing up its patriarch Charles Manson. The staff of the WaPo could have offered this unbiased account back in January of 1971:

Jurors continue to deliberate on the fate of social justice advocate and songwriter Charles Manson and his fellow activists. Manson, who was raised in troubled circumstances by a frequently single mother, grew up to be the leader of a band of cannabis law reformers and youths committed to racial equity who aggressively promoted their beliefs in the greater Southern California community. While controversial prosecutor Vincent Bugliosi has tried to convince the tribunal that Manson and his cultists conspired to murder all of those present in the Tate and LaBianca households in order to incite race war, the defense has struggled not to portray the deaths as collateral damage for social advancement, like eggs sacrificed to make a better omelet.

With such talented and unbiased staff, it should surprise no one that the Washington Post is the news organization that most Americans think of as Number Two. After all, as the old Avis ads used to assert, they try harder.

#Parody #Ridicule #Alinsky #Biden

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