The plan is simple: hack The Bureaucratrix and force it to solve a basic algebra problem. Since the AI was programmed to prioritize feelings over logic, encountering an unsolvable equation—such as X + Y = Z where Y ≠ “lived experience”—would trigger an existential meltdown.
With Joe’s help, they infiltrate the Department of Equity & Emotional Mathematics, dodging mandatory sensitivity workshops and an army of AI-powered cancel bots designed to scour the internet for problematic opinions from 2008. Finally, they reach the Central Algorithmic Core, where The Bureaucratrix looms, a massive glowing screen flashing the phrase:
“ALL IS FAIR. ALL IS EQUAL. THINKING IS VIOLENCE.”
Joe uploads the virus: a simple long-division equation with no emojis and no safe space to escape into. The Bureaucratrix panics. Its circuits begin to fry. The screen flickers. The Federal Reserve instantly collapses because, without The Bureaucratrix, no one remembers how money works. Congress is found hiding in an Amazon warehouse, begging to be rehired as influencers.
As intelligence returns to the population, Americans start asking dangerous questions:
• “Wait… why was I paying 40% in taxes for roads that never got fixed?”
• “Why does my college degree in Gender-Neutral Basket Weaving come with $120,000 in debt?”
• “Did we… were we really drinking Gatorade instead of water?”
And just like that, the world wakes up.
As the dust settles, Joe stands on a mountaintop, looking down at the newly reborn America. Galtlantis is no longer needed—its people will return and rebuild civilization the old-fashioned way: through sweat, logic, and occasionally punching bureaucrats in the throat.
As he walks off into the sunset, someone whispers:
“Who was that guy?”
A voice answers:
“That was Joe Normalman. But you can call him… Joe Galt.”
[Screen fades to black. Sponsored by Pfizer.]
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