Satire
Recent news highlighted a so-called “transgender” at the Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville, Ala., “coming out” and declaring his/her/its condition. It created quite a storm in conservative Alabama, but what many don’t know is that Huntsville is arguably the most leftist city in the state, much like Austin is to Texas.
But with this news, came a revelation for me. I have decided that I am “coming out of the closet” as well. Yes, me. It’s time for me to be my true self!
I have decided to self-identify as the Director of the Alabama Space and Rocket Center.
Move over Dr. Kimberly Robinson! I’m in charge now, and you are sitting in my office! If you don’t let me take over, I’ll be triggered! How dare you mis-identify me! And of course, I want the salary and perks that go with the job. Get out of the way, you fiend!
Indeed, as soon as my local school board decides to allow mentally deranged people to enter the bathroom of the opposite sex, I’ll cry out that I self-identify as the School Board Chairman. You’re sitting in my seat! I’m triggered, you doofus!
And why can’t I do this? After all, is this not the trend? Whether you want to say that you are a girl to play in women’s sports and demand the prizes that go with the status, or if you have a PhD but falsified your thesis or resumé to get a high-flying job with the appropriate remuneration. This is the way to go. Of course, opponents would say “you were not appointed to the position.” To which I would respond, “and you weren’t born a girl, dude… so when do I start my rightful job?”
But perhaps I’m thinking too small… my vision blighted by the recent eclipse, caused by Sheila Jackson Lee’s gaseous moon. No… I’m not the Director of the SRC. I am… I am the President of the United States! That’s right. I will self-identify as the President. Move over Uncle Joe! You imposter! Get out of my chair in the Oval Office! How dare you mis-identify me! If you refuse, I’ll be triggered!
Or better yet… the President of Earth! Get off of my command ship, Stacey Abrams! How dare you stand in my way! I’m in charge. I am the Earth, and the Earth is me!
Of course, I am mocking these kooks. And such mockery makes them furious. Why? Because deep inside, they truly know that what they are doing is a lie and a scam. Yet, in all seriousness, this is the insanity and madness that grips us today.
But, the real problem with the transgenders is that their vision is too shallow, their aim in life too low. For after all, why stop at claiming you’re a woman trapped in a man’s body? Or even the President of Earth. Perhaps, you are really god in the flesh.
I think I’ve heard that lie somewhere before.
Disclaimer note: nothing in this article should be implied to suggest any physical threat against any place or persons. Yes… you have to say this today, because so many are too deranged to understand satire in our times.
Russ Rodgers has several books published on Amazon.
If you enjoyed this article, then please REPOST or SHARE with others; encourage them to follow AFNN. If you’d like to become a citizen contributor for AFNN, contact us at managingeditor@afnn.us Help keep us ad-free by donating here.
Substack: American Free News Network Substack
Truth Social: @AFNN_USA
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/afnnusa
Telegram: https://t.me/joinchat/2_-GAzcXmIRjODNh
Twitter: https://twitter.com/AfnnUsa
GETTR: https://gettr.com/user/AFNN_USA
CloutHub: @AFNN_USA