Parody As a Weapon Part XLIX; Just another day in Republica Bananera

Last week, in Part XLVIII, song parody was used to highlight the tool used to eliminate the terrorist leader who was the guest of an authoritarian regime that was the demonstrated enemy of the values enshrined in our constitution. This week, we will use song parody to examine the tool of another regime that appears to be striving for similar goals.

As all should be aware, the Biden Department of Justice crossed a line this week that no other group of corrupt self-dealing bureaucrats has ever dared to do in the past, and conducted a raid at the Trump residence at Mar-a-lago, Florida, purportedly to find evidence of violations of government records statutes.

In 2019, when President Trump suggested to the Ukrainian government that they should investigate the extortion that Joe Biden publicly boasted of committing as Vice President by threatening to withhold a billion dollar US loan guarantee unless Ukrainian prosecutor Victor Shokin (who was investigating his son’s employer) was fired, the democrats claimed it was a high crime to suggest a foreign power to investigate a political rival, and impeached him. Now that those same democrats now control all of the levers of political power in Washington, they’ve decided that initiating investigations of political rivals is no longer corrupt, nor is it a job that an American won’t do. Instead, they have made it their duty, and have coopted part of the corrupt federal bureaucracy to help them carry it out.

In the 20^th century, J. Edgar Hoover was responsible for taking a corrupt agency full of Washington-based patronage employees, and turning it into the national law enforcement agency that came to be known as the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Though he was a very flawed man, Hoover proved to be a great publicist, and he created the image of an agency of tireless national crimefighters determined to protect America not only from the Red Menace but also from the scourge of the lawless and disorderly.

Though in reality he might have been a creepy peeper into the intimate lives of others, Hoover was aided in his endeavor to frame this illusion by popular culture. No less a Hollywood icon than Jimmy Stewart starred in 1959 in the idealized version of the agency presented in “The FBI Story”. From the mid-1960s until the early 1970s, Sunday evening television viewers could view a weekly episode of Inspector Erskine cracking cases on the Quinn Martin TV series “The F B I “.

Since that time, though, there have been numerous scandals and revelations that have placed the FBI in a different light. From the turncoat bureaucrat Mark Felt who served as Woodward and Bernstein’s ‘Deep Throat’ Watergate informant after he failed to be made FBI Director by Nixon following Hoover’s death, to the criminal activity and corruption in Boston by Special Agent John Connolly in order to allow informant Whitey Bulger to continue to control organized crime there, the Bureau did not end the 20^th century at its peak. As the 21^st century opened, they failed to uncover the 9/11 attacks despite having one of the planned hijackers in their custody, and mishandled the prosecution of the 1995 Murrah Building bombing case, resulting in a delay in the execution of convicted bomber Timothy McVeigh after it was revealed they withheld thousands of pages of documents from the defense.

Unfortunately, in the second decade of the 20^th century, things got notably worse. As Attorney General Eric Holder set up his Department of Justice to provide cover for his wingman, President Barack Obama, the FBI became his tail gunner. Under its appointed director James Comey, nominally a Republican, the corruption in the Obama administration characterized by the actions in the IRS of Lois Lerner to the mishandling of classified information by former Secretary of State and later democrat presidential nominee Hillary Clinton was allowed to go unchecked. Meanwhile, when political outsider Donald Trump announced his run for the republican presidential nomination, the investigative and surveillance tools of the Bureau were soon aimed at him. From his counterintelligence headquarters post, Peter Strzok assured his on the job mistress, FBI attorney Lisa Page, that the smell of Trump supporters would never be powerful enough to elect him president in light of their activities. Another FBI attorney, Kevin Clinesmith, deliberately altered documents in order to justify Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act based wiretaps against Trump campaign volunteer Carter Page. Deputy Director Andrew McCabe lied and leaked while his wife accepted hundreds of thousands of dollars in Clinton-related PAC money to run for state office in Virginia, and Comey was worse. The current director Christopher Wray has done nothing to distinguish himself from such company.

Despite the disturbing nature of the weaponization of the criminal justice system to resolve the political rivalry, the aggrieved party, President Donald Trump, bore up well under this latest attack, noting it was “just another day in paradise”.

Of course, “Just Another Day in Paradise” was also the name of a hit single and album in the early 1980s by country/pop/soft rock singer Bertie Higgins. The album featured songs that celebrated love, tropical locations, classic movies, and included other hits, including “Key Largo”, a ballad comparing the singer’s lost love to the relationship fostered between Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall in the film of the same name. Left out of the lyrics was the massive weather storm that Bogie and Bacall endured in addition to the armed thugs invading their tropical paradise. Nevertheless, that reference only makes the tune more appropriate to borrow to memorialize the FBI as this week’s group of armed thugs, who, having already failed with their crossfire hurricane, demonstrate that they are the political hacks that they were at the start of the 20^th century.

 

Wrapped around the axle
Since Hil lost back in 16
And Comey failed to get the Donald
And stop all those tweets so mean

Watching those old movies
With Jimmy Stewart as G Man
Now cheating Strzok is their hero
Along with his insurance plan

They had it all
And then J Edgar had his fall
Lost Efrem Zimbalist and the TV show
Now they raid Mar-a-lago

We’re looking at their skid
And all the messed up things they did
And when you think they can’t sink so low
Now they raid Mar-a-lago

They think we can’t remember
How their agents all would coax
The plot for Gretchen Whitmer
And of course the Russia hoax

But yet they will… play it again
McCabe’s out there still
And Clinesmith’s not the end

They had it all
And then Trump said “Build the Wall”
They decided that it’s him they’ll show
And raided Mar-a-lago

There’s really no excuse
Just like their FISA abuse
But they’ll try it once again, I know
Just like they raid Mar-a-lago

Once Land of the Free
Now the F B I’s the D N C
And if you ask “Where did our country go?”
Taken away at Mar-a-lago

 

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