Political Parody As a Weapon Part XCV

Political Parody As a Weapon Part XCV; She tells lies, she tells lies, she tells lies- Cocaine!

Last week, in Part XCIII, the devil was in the details as there was an examination of the efforts of Joe Biden and his administration to silence the message of his rivals, frequently in violation of the First Amendment of the Constitution he falsely swore to uphold. This week we will dip into a different bag of tricks to look at other activities being conducted at the Biden White House.

On Sunday July 2, during what was for some supposed to be a long holiday weekend, the White House was briefly evacuated after a white powdery substance in a bag was found inside. The substance did not turn out to be anthrax or other biological warfare items, but tested positive as cocaine. The White House Press Office was quick to point out that this was in a heavily-trafficked area of the White House where tours were frequently given. Of course, not everyone was buying the story.

Presumably, the White House felt the need to point this out in order to dilute the suspicion that the cocaine might have been left there by Hunter Biden, whose autobiography “Beautiful Things” and interviews confess addiction to crack cocaine so severe that when he ran out of it, he found himself smoking parmesan cheese particles in case they were actually pieces of ‘break off’. Additionally, Hunter is facing sentencing in the U.S. courthouse named after his father’s first senate race opponent later in July for tax offenses and drug-related firearm charges, for which continued illicit drug use could endanger his eligibility for diversion sentencing (Indeed, drug and tax offenses more or less are common in Biden world, as Jill’s first husband served time for both after she divorced him and married Joe).

Of course, that story quickly unraveled. White House Press Secretary Karine Jeanne Pierre (K J P) then accused the press of irresponsible reporting, as the Biden Family was at Camp David and absent from the White House on Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday. Fox News was able to quickly ascertain through its pool reports that Jill, Hunter and his son did not leave the White House until Friday after 6pm, earning KJP additional rebukes.

Of course, the 45^th President could not resist weighing in on the situation, and suggested on Truth Social that the cocaine belonged to either Joe or Hunter. Further aggravating the matter, the White House Press Office did not refute or deny this, choosing instead to hide behind the Hatch Act, that prohibits federal civil servants from engaging in political activity on the job.

Congress has demanded a briefing from the Secret Service, which is responsible for providing security for the White House and the first family. Reports have suggested that they are checking the bag for fingerprints and other forensic clues, harkening back to a quarter century ago in the Clinton White House, when DNA cheek swabs were taken from the sitting president.

Of course, the Clintons set the standard for corruption and trashy behavior in the White House that the Bidens have been laboring diligently to surpass. All who accuse Donald Trump and his family of vulgarity should be lined up and stooge slapped in the parking lot of the 7-11 on Centerville Road not far from the Biden’s Greenville home (which messages from his laptop reveal is where Hunter picks up his crack when he’s in town).

Of course, the scandal sets up what should be the easiest song parody of all time, just by dipping into Eric Clapton or J J Cale’s “Cocaine” bag and drawing up new lines for Hunter. Still, having sworn off the lowest hanging fruit since going after Don Lemon in Part LXXVI, there will be a reach a bit higher up the coca bush to choose a song that can more accurately support the mocking of the cocaine circus that the Bidens have brought to town (besides, any song which has original lyrics repeating “she don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie” could never be given serious consideration when spoofing a Biden White House fronted by KJP, who was the subject of her own song parody in Part XLV).

As such, the Johnny Cash catalogue will be brought out, and “Cocaine Blues” will be passed around for the enjoyment of all, as the White House continues to blow smoke about the blow.

One afternoon at the Biden White House
They found a bag of cocaine and folks started to grouse
The family’d run off to Camp David
They counted on the press to keep the story hid

Soon the press office came out with a frown
They couldn’t hide the story ‘cause they shut the White House down
They thought the baggie might contain anthrax
And it was one of those right wing extremist attacks

So the press office gave the story a twist
And tried to blame the cocaine on an errant tourist
But K J P would wear a face of gloom
They found the bag outside the Situation Room

But K J P this news didn’t faze
She claimed the Bidens had been gone for days
But pool reports showed that she wasn’t right
Jill, Hunter and his kid had been there Friday night

As the press office tried more words to mince
The Secret Service dusted for fingerprints
Other forensic tests were not in play
It seems still White House walls have Clinton D N A

Into this mix Donald Trump soon would go
Claimed the cocaine was from Hunter or Joe
The press office did not deny this fact
But tried instead to hide behind the federal Hatch Act

Into this matter soon Congress would delve Because no defendant would face a jury of twelve
It seems Merrick Garland soon would say “Nicht, Nichts
We only prosecute for January Six”

Hunter cannot say “That coke came from me”
To admit to such might endanger his plea
And the judge might not be a sport
When the time comes for diversion at the District Court

Hunter doesn’t want to wind up in the pen
So he’ll stand mute until his lawyer says when
And they both will have a big laugh
When the White House tries to place the blame on junior staff

And you can wait for all eternity
For Hunter to say “The coke belongs to me”

#Parody #Ridicule #Alinsky

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