Parody As a Weapon Part CII No serious person has ever asked “What Would Joe Biden Do?”.

In our last feature (Part CI) in August, we looked at the fine mess that was Joe Biden, and wondered what it would take to return him to the sea. This week, we will again examine the performance of the current son of a b____ in the White House through the lens of song parody, as supplied by another J.B., who was a son of a son of a sailor.

The month of September opened last Friday with word of the passing of singer-songwriter Jimmy Buffett as a result of a five year battle with skin cancer. Nearly anyone with a passing familiarity with his work would know that Buffett would have preferred to have hung on for a few more days, lest news of his death mar anyone’s holiday weekend (particularly the last weekend of unofficial Summer for so many folks).

Last Fall, at the time of Joe Biden’s 80^th birthday, in Part LXIII, I wrote the bold narrative and italicized lyrics following about the deceased entertainer:

“Jimmy Buffett has emerged over the last half of a century as an entertainer with sense of humor as well as a loyal band of followers, and is also a savvy businessman who has been able to make millions of dollars from a brand of fun-loving music and related products that celebrate life at the beach and those whose lifestyles are at the whims of the tide. While none of the many hit tunes he has penned and performed match the commercial success that “Margaritaville” has enjoyed since its release in 1977, it is another selection from “The Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes” album that is the subject of today’s song parody. The song “A Pirate Looks at 40” is the tale of a marijuana smuggler musing on the highs and lows of his life as he approaches a middle age milestone. Oddly enough, it is the kind of tune that has fans on all sides of the drug war in a manner not dissimilar to the HBO series “The Wire”.

The lyrics show an honest reflection on the success and failure of a man involved in a corrupt enterprise who has little to show for it except for the memories. There seems to be no better song to reflect 80 years of a corrupt man who has succeeded in the enterprise of leading his country to failure.

Mother Finnegan Biden, I have used your name.
Wanted to give you credit when I make a stupid claim
to avoid blame
to avoid blame

Watched the dems I served with segregate by race Pass Jim Crow laws and did it because

they want colored to stay in their place
I gave them safe space
I gave them safe space

Yes, I am Joe Biden
Now eighty years around
The economy’s tanked and my policies thanked

and China thinks that we are beclowned
My gaffes abound

My gaffes abound

I’ve done a lot of lying.
and I’m prone to exaggerate

I’ll make a false claim to add to my fame but I always prevaricate
to make me look great
to make me look great

The driver was drunk back when he struck my wife.
I’ve been Puerto Rican now for most of my life I’m a civil rights fella did time with Mandela when I was at an H B C U.

Just to name a few .

Just to name a few

I fondle younger women, to sniff them is my need
Though I give them a scare with my face in their hair

the press should take no heed
Ignore Tara Reade
Ignore Tara Reade

So American people, after eighty years I’ve shown

The occupational hazard from letting me occupy a president’s throne
With a pen and a phone, an Obama clone
an IQ like a stone, my cover’s blown”

Of course, Jimmy Buffett’s catalogue extended way beyond his greatest hits. Among my personal favorites from his less well known albums is “The King of Somewhere Hot” (though “That’s My Story and I’m Sticking to It” has great merit as well). Nevertheless, the hits from the early days remain fan favorites in the Parrothead universe, and it is one of those that will provide the basis for today’s song parody.

In an opinion piece in USA TODAY noting the passing of Mr. Buffett, writer Bill Sternberg provided a laundry list of Buffett songs and ventures and how he recalls them, including this nugget:

”Of course, not all of Buffett’s lyrics were poetic or even tasteful. I cringed when, at a barbecue on the White House lawn early in the Clinton administration, the tent speakers blared Buffett’s “Why Don’t We Get Drunk (and Screw)” – perhaps foreshadowing the scandal involving the president and intern Monica Lewinsky. “

The Biden family and administration has since passed the Clinton White House in crassness, given Hunter’s laptop, cloakroom cocaine, the topless transvestite display earlier this year, Biden’s habit of skinny-dipping in front of female Secret Service agents and Biden’s long-documented history of engaging in unwanted touching of women and children that even leftist publications have noticed. In light of this, I will be borrowing “Why Don’t We Get Drunk…” (Mr. Buffett’s love song from another point of view) to parody what Biden has been doing to voters since 1970. As Mr. Buffett meets his Maker and learns that some of what the good sisters told him in parochial school that he subsequently discarded was actually intended to save his soul, hopefully he will get some extra credit for entertaining millions for half a century, and will be given a chance to do more in the hereafter. Meanwhile, we will borrow another of his tunes to mock one who is screwing things up in the here and now.

You really can’t appreciate the hell one man can bring
He signs a stack of orders
And Lucifer’s angels sing
So add three dozen dollars for oil barrels of sweet crude
Honey, we got Biden now we’re screwed

… We got Biden now we’re screwed
He shut down the pipeline which raised the price of food
They say his son’s a crackhead
Who collects for the big dude
So, we got Biden now we’re screwed

We got Biden now we’re screwed
Thank God Hunter’s laptop had no photos of Joe nude
Ladies from Secret Service
Have on duty that sight viewed
So, we got Biden now we’re screwed
Yeah, now baby I say, (Lord!)
We got Biden now we’re screwed

#Parody #Ridicule #Alinsky

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