President Elect Donald Trump isn’t wasting any time naming his incoming leadership, and there isn’t enough XanaxTM in the world inventory for the mass panic attack afflicting Washington, DC. Doctors call the rapid heart rate, hyperventilation, and sweating: “symptoms.” Poker players call it something else: “tells.” We’re seeing clues that the afflicted think our suspicions of government malfeasance will be confirmed by President Trump and his merry band of disrupters.
Suddenly, there’s a shortage of criminal defense attorneys in the DC area because FBI employees are sending out retainer checks like the law offices are running a black-Friday sale. They keep telling us they’re the world’s premier law enforcement agency, with the best detectives ever fielded. Perhaps they’ve actually managed to “detect” that they’ve been breaking the law rather than upholding it. Well, the music is about to stop and there aren’t enough chairs to go around.
The Department of Justice leadership is also hyperventilating because they claim President Trump will … wait for it … weaponize criminal justice! I’ll pause for the laughter to subside before continuing. Are you back? Great.
Who knew that arresting praying grandmothers and concerned parents, while excusing violent criminals and advocating for illegal voting was a commitment to “equal justice under law”? Silly us.
Per the advice of counsel, everybody at the DoJ and FBI are warning that we’re at risk of losing our legal protection from renegade school board protests and violent abortion clinic prayer vigils. They seem to have abandoned the notion of “separation of church and state,” as they’ve dropped to their knees in prayer that we’ll haul back on the Donald’s leash. Sorry, I think we’ll let him prowl the halls of justice unrestricted – but divinely guided – for a bit longer.
We realize that this may create a “officer of the law” shortage, but we’re hoping the shortage is due to incarceration rather than resignation. There is reason to be optimistic too – our “public servants” aren’t hiring job placement professionals, they’re hiring lawyers. That’s a mighty strange way for the innocent to behave – no? In the meantime, they should take a pill. It’s the blue one – the oval-shaped one, not the diamond-shaped one.
The leadership over at the Pentagon – the guys whose only core competencies are surrender and pronoun discipline – are in a cold sweat because their new boss wants them to be … gasp … soldiers. They’re trying to figure out how to explain to the new SecDef that those cammo uniforms are to make his guys look manly at Pride parades, not to make them hard to shoot in combat. The guys with the stars on their lapels are going to need one of those blue pills too. Maybe they should also take one of the diamond-shaped pills – considering their current lack of … ahem … “toxic masculinity.”
The folks that gave us the COVID vaccine and told us to keep the kiddies out of school for a year just collapsed from tachycardia and are currently panting into a paper bag. They’re going to be saddled with a conspiracy nut who insists that they follow the data rather than the dogma. How can they possibly mandate the next vaccine or shut down the economy if the new guy says they gotta do more good than harm? Why, that’s anti consensus-science! The pharmaceutical guys aren’t going to like this one bit.
The folks at “Foggy Bottom” are validating their foggy logic and bottom of the scale intellect by fainting upon hearing the words “America first.” Doesn’t the new Secretary of State understand that his guys are “citizens the world” – the world which expects America to provide prosperity and security without any gratitude? Doesn’t he see that the State Department has a higher calling than America? It’s called the UN. Besides, how can America be first when saving the Palestinians from unprovoked Israeli aggression is clearly first on the agenda? Such ignorance is enough to make one lightheaded.
Our “public servants” clearly don’t understand something about employment that people in the private sector have always known. Unless you’re a judge or an Ivy League communist professor, a job isn’t a lifetime appointment. One’s employment is contingent on meeting the expectations of one’s employer; and no, the employer of federal bureaucrats in not the President or Congress. Their employer has always been, and will continue to be, us.
Let’s say we have a factory foreman who falls far short of his widget production target, and what few widgets his guys make are all defective. Yet the foreman demands a raise because he has faithfully produced defective widgets for 20 years. In fact, nobody makes bad widgets better than his crew does. Should he expect a pay bump, or perhaps some other less desirable consequence? Why do our government employees expect different treatment?
Our FBI director is a perfect example. He violated his oath, lied to Congress, and targeted the law-abiding rather than the law-violating. Yet he behaves as if the new management is preparing to take unfair retribution, rather than overdue corrective action.
Unfortunately, the FBI Director – along with countless others in the federal bureaucracy – have escaped accountability for longer than we can remember. That he is panicking now, is a “tell” that he expects 2025 to be somewhat different than 2021.
Perhaps we shouldn’t be surprised that federal employees lack the coping skills of private sector workers. It’s been a long time since anyone in government has been held accountable for their offenses. We should have expected them to forget who’s the servant and who’s the master in this arrangement. Consequently, those hired to serve, have been acting like the masters – and we’ve let them get away with it for far too long.
Fortunately, after Joe Biden gave us a little preview of where unrestrained government leads, we’ve come to realize that when the public is placed in service to the government, the country is no longer anything other than a tyranny.
We’ve finally decided to take action, and have sent a “fixer” to impose our will. The behavior of our employees must change immediately – or else. The bureaucrats can panic and resist, but panic never improves one’s odds of surviving, and resistance will only create additional unpleasant consequences. They may think they can “help” the new management fail before accountability calls on them, but that will only drive us to send someone even more ruthless to clean the mess they’ve made of OUR government.
The vote and the exit polling of this year’s election sent a clear message to our “public servants”: We want our democracy (self-governance) preserved, and we expect your behavior to conform with our expectations. We don’t care if you’re alarmed. The more you protest, the more we think that perhaps we’ve selected the right “new management” team. Stop your juvenile whining and excuse making. You have your orders, now get to work – or we’ll have our guy enact a few episodes of “The Apprentice.”
Author Bio: John Green is a retired engineer and political refugee from Minnesota, now residing in Idaho. He spent his career designing complex defense systems, developing high performance organizations, and doing corporate strategic planning. He is a contributor to American Thinker, The American Spectator, and the American Free News Network. He can be reached at greenjeg@gmail.com.
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