The not-so-distant past.
Frank is a college student. He is in college because he has ambitions, hopes, and dreams. Namely, girls.
College is hard work. Not just mentally, but physically. Frank has six classes today. Thus, Frank is compelled to carry a heavy pile of physical textbooks FOR EACH CLASS. A stack of hardbound paper literature roughly equalling the same weight as the Jefferson Memorial.
Frank also carries notebooks, binders, and a brown-bag lunch, since these are olden times and universities do not yet have Chick-fil-As, Starbucks, or on-campus Super Targets.
But it’s no big deal because college is cheap in Days of Yore. Tuition runs about the same price as a Mercury Grand Marquis. Today, however, college costs about the same as purchasing an average subsonic fighter jet.
Frank arrives at class, out of breath, because Frank had to walk.
There are no shuttle golf-carts. But, hey, it’s okay, because on the walk Frank and his friends talk about girls. They ALWAYS talk about girls. Whenever they aren’t talking about girls, however, they are most likely talking about the girls’ older sisters.
Class is full. The prof is running late. So everyone chitchats. There are no phone screens in these days, so people converse. This is how the human race once entertained itself.
The professor is old and wears tweed. He has battleship tats on his forearm and smokes Camels. Sometimes he enters the classroom with a lit cigarette, and nobody calls the cops.
People just smoked back then. Was it moral? Was it ethical? Nobody ever thought about it. They were too busy thinking about important academic things, such as getting to second base before the end of the semester.
The teacher assigns homework. Boo.
Read chapters 12 through 15. Write a 1500-word essay. Bummer.
In the dorm, Frank opens a physical textbook and skimm-reads. He highlights important passages, uses Post-It notes as bookmarks, assembles a rough outline, and no technology is involved in this process.
After three hours, he breaks for supper. He makes ramen noodles, which he prepares in the dorm microwave, an early-model device manufactured by Montgomery Ward, capable of nuking food located 14 feet away.
Frank consults his manual typewriter. He composes a rough draft. The essay sucks. It needs revision. Too wordy.
So he spends another two hours revising. Crossing out this. Reword that. Drop this paragraph. Rephrase. Retype. Repeat.
It’s getting late. Frank has already spent WAY too long on this stupid essay. What Frank needs is to relax. Maybe some music.
So he listens to “records,” or “cassette tapes,” which feature non-digital musicians playing actual “instruments.” These were called bands.
The next morning, Frank awakens at 4 a.m. to finish his essay before class. He spends another three hours on it. He submits said essay. Earns a C. Then dutifully goes back to thinking about girls.
Now let’s visit a modern day university.
The following was submitted by an actual college professor who wishes to remain anonymous. We will call her Samantha.
“Here’s how my students write essays,” Samantha writes. “They sit down to a laptop and type words into ChatGPT:
“Write me a 500-word essay on…”
Within seconds, GPT spits out an essay. The kid doesn’t use this essay, word for word, per se. The student isn’t stupid. The college has AI checking software. So the student rewords it. Makes the essay his or her own without ever cracking open a book.
“This whole process,” Samantha explains, “takes about 10 minutes. And sadly, that’s the current state of modern education.”
You’d be better off buying a fighter jet
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Originally published on Sean’s website. Republished here with permission.
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