The Miracle Drug
In the summer of 2099, researchers developed a new groundbreaking drug. When ingested this new medication impaired one’s ability to judge others.
Satire
BREAKING: Marco Rubio Appointed as Interim Grand Nagus of the Ferengi Alliance
President Trump announced today that in the spirit of not only international relations, but also interstellar amity, he has given U.S. Secretary of State Marco Rubio, permission to accept the position of Interim Grand Nagus of the Ferengi Alliance.
Wine: Humanity’s Original Survival Hack (aka Liquid Sanitation with Style)
Let’s face it—if you think water is safe, congratulations, you’re probably not living in the first century. Wells and cisterns looked innocent, but sip a cup and you might as well have been drinking a smoothie of bacteria, dirt, and whatever poor soul didn’t wash their hands yesterday. People back then didn’t know about germs—they just knew that gulping down that “clear” liquid was a roll of the dice with your intestines.
America’s “Orange Army”: The Defense Nobody Budgeted For
China struts around with its Red Army. Washington struts around with the most expensive military on the planet—a force that burns through billions on drag shows at bases and PowerPoints about pronouns.
BREAKING: Canada Urged to Ban Bic Lighters, Matches to Save Michigan from Smoky Summer
Hillman, MI — The skies above Michigan this week resembled the inside of a Waffle House kitchen at 2 a.m., thanks to yet another aromatic delivery of Canadian wildfire smoke, generously exported from our friendly neighbors to the north.
Don Surber’s Highlights of the Week; Making Advertisements Great Again
Once again, Don Surber is back with his weekly highlights and acerbic wit, lampooning various and sundry leftists.
The Tyranny of Our Tech Shackles: A Satirical Take on NSA Tracking Devices
Ah, the good old days when privacy was a thing, and our phones were just for making calls and playing pranks on old people… “Hello Ma’am, is your refrigerator running?”
Stirring the Gravy
With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, the celebrated comedian best known for his iconic: “You might be a Redneck if (and other topics) …” Here is my version that is devoted to those claiming Italian ancestry who participated in the annual San Marziale festivities at Holy Angels Church in Kulpmont, Pennsylvania last Sunday.
Tin Foil and Other Scarce Commodities
Alone, with a hot cup of nature’s stimulant, perusing the news releases of the day. Paper gold trading sideways (as always). Silver stuck in mid-twenties. Crypto trolls extolling the get-rich-quick virtues of their particular version of blockchain tokens. Joey Robinette mumbling something about vaccines and you know, the other latest thing he can’t remember…..
It’s 2025 and We Still Have 1-7/8” and 2” Hitch Balls? Who Hurt Us?
America: land of freedom, innovation, and baffling trailer ball sizes. We split the atom, landed on the moon, and built an internet where people argue about pineapple on pizza—but somehow, we still can’t agree on a standard trailer hitch ball.
Bugpaste Rebellion: The Great Hot Sauce Uprising of 2050
In the year 2050, in the glorious gray sprawl of the United Socialist States of America, meat was illegal, cows were extinct (except for the one in the Smithsonian), and the only thing anyone had ever eaten was Bugpaste™
I Demand Glyphosate for Rocks: A Screed for the Ages
Rocks. In. My. Garden. Those demon-possessed geological freeloaders are multiplying faster than a college feminist studies major’s pronouns.
Lightsabers Are Here—Good Luck Regulating Them, Democrats!
Well, folks, it finally happened. Some mad scientist in his garage just cracked the code, and now lightsabers are real. You heard that right—Jedi-level plasma blades, humming and slicing through anything in their path, are now a reality.
The Idiot, The Atlas, and The Algorithm Part 2
The Idiot, The Atlas, and The Algorithm, A Three-Part Satirical Series on the Glorious Decline of American Civilization;
Part 2: Welcome to Galtlantis—Where Smart People Hide From the Apocalypse
The Idiot, The Atlas, and The Algorithm; Part 1: The Decline and Fall of the United States of Influencers
The Idiot, The Atlas, and The Algorithm is a A Three-Part Satirical Series on the Glorious Decline of American Civilization, Today: Part 1: The Decline and Fall of the United States of Influencers
Bad Gramer
I get a lot of comments about grammar. And after having studied the subject for years—mainly by reading thousands of critically acclaimed cereal boxes—I’ve decided to answer questions from readers who inquire about various errors in my work.
Trump Signs Executive Order to Deport Illegal Immigrants to Australia: “Worked for the British, Didn’t It?”
In what may be the boldest immigration policy in U.S. history, former President Donald J. Trump has just signed Executive Order 1776, ordering the mass deportation of illegal immigrants to Australia—a plan he claims is “just a little historical throwback to the good old days of the British Empire.”
Operation Greenland Freedom: Because Size Matters
The United States has a moral obligation to liberate Greenland from the icy grip of despair. Sure, the 56,000 Greenlanders don’t seem to be asking for help, but what do they know?
Rodent Control and Just War Theory: The Noble Crusade Against Our Tiny Furry Foes
Rodents are our mortal enemies. With their beady little eyes, twitching noses, and unsettling talent for finding the smallest of food crumbs, they are a threat to humanity’s rightful dominion over the kitchen
Trump Takes Aim: The Golden Crossbow, Kamala’s Hat, and the Greatest Apple Ever Split
Once upon a time in the not-so-distant land of Twitterville, there lived a man named Donald Trump, known far and wide for his remarkable aim with… well, his phone. But this story isn’t about tweets.