Questions, Remarks, and You-Sucks
Sean Dietrich pithily responds to reader mail in a manner that only he can.
Sean Dietrich
Three Dog Night
In light of the critical world events taking place in the news, I know many of you are anxious to know more about my dogs.
Back to the Future
It seems like everyone is talking about AI. It’s on the news. It’s in every newspaper. “AI is taking over the world,” the media headlines declare. “AI replaces 12 million jobs.” “AI wins Miss America Pageant.” AI might be writing this right now. There’s no way to know.
Scenes From a Tennessee Nursing Home
A middle-aged guy sat at the piano. The middle-aged guy plays by ear. He can’t read music because as a kid he was too obsessed with girls to practice “Hot Cross Buns” under the weight of Mrs. Downing’s glaringly sinister eyes.
An Open Letter to Three Soldiers
To the three servicemen who died in a midair collision on Wednesday in Washington DC. I’m sorry.
American Airlines Flight 5432
Sixty passengers. Four crewmembers. Sixty-four people. That’s all I heard the reporter say.
What Happened to American College?
College is hard work. Not just mentally, but physically. Frank has six classes today. Thus, Frank is compelled to carry a heavy pile of physical textbooks FOR EACH CLASS. A stack of hardbound paper literature roughly equalling the same weight as the Jefferson Memorial.
A Nineteen-Year-Old Miracle
She’s 19. Beautiful. Violent red hair. And smart. Morgan is one of those rare humans who honestly thinks math was not invented by Satan. The girl climbs into my truck, buckles herself in. “Hey,” she says. Fresh-faced and happy. Slightly out of breath. The flushed cheeks of youth. I like that she feels so at …
A Case for Winged Creatures
Angels aren’t real. They can’t be. It just doesn’t make sense. How can a rational human with a working brain believe in invisible celestial creatures who all resemble Michael Landon?
Lies, Cowards, and Politics
The emailer was irate. “When are you finally going to address the lies being told RIGHT NOW to the American people?” the emailer wrote. “You are A COWARD!”
Questions and Answers
Sean Dietrich answers reader questions as only he can, with wit, wisdom and whimsey.
Dear You, Whoever You Are
You’re going through something right now. Something bad. Something truly, inexplicably, wholly, and everlastingly crappy.
I don’t know what it is. But it’s ugly. And it’s getting the best of you.
El Camino de Crazy-O
In a couple months, my wife and I will be deposited in a French airport with nothing but backpacks and walking shoes. We will traverse 500 miles on foot, hiking the breadth of Spain, from Saint-Jean-Pied-de-Port to Santiago de Compostela.
A Little Bird
I was on the way to the shed. Walking through the yard. I saw something in the grass. It was fluttering in the weeds. I could see its wings.
The Helen Keller Art Show
The Helen Keller Art show was in full swing. The center is adorned in art. Tactile pieces. Colorful artwork. Sculptures.
One Fine Teacher
As an older student, most professors were part of my peer group. Many teachers had attended the same wild high-school parties I did. Most of which I can’t remember. But there was one teacher who was different.
About Morgan Love
As the 19-year-old young woman returns to college classes this week; as teenagers herd across campus like droves of cattle; as students all over the nation engage in the long-cherished tradition of not reading the syllabus; I just want to say how proud I am to know Morgan Love.
An Old Man on an Airplane
I’m on a plane awaiting takeoff. My carry-on bag is above me in the compartment. A compartment which, according to FAA regulations, is slightly too small for everyone’s carry-on bags.
Breakfast in an American Hotel
Mom was middle-aged. Maybe early fifties. Her daughter was maybe 18. You could tell it was her daughter because of the way she kept rolling her eyes whenever the middle-aged woman opened her mouth.
Bring on the Sunshine
Gray weather feels a lot like taking a field trip to Hell. I don’t like overcast days. Whenever the sky gets like this, I sit by a windowsill and entertain the idea of composing Russian poetry.