Don Surber’s Highlights of the Week; Making Advertisements Great Again
Once again, Don Surber is back with his weekly highlights and acerbic wit, lampooning various and sundry leftists.
Humor
The Tyranny of Our Tech Shackles: A Satirical Take on NSA Tracking Devices
Ah, the good old days when privacy was a thing, and our phones were just for making calls and playing pranks on old people… “Hello Ma’am, is your refrigerator running?”
Don Surber’s Weekly Highlights and Humor
Make sure you put your cup down and swallow your coffee before reading don Surber’s latest weekly highlights and humor.
Stirring the Gravy
With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, the celebrated comedian best known for his iconic: “You might be a Redneck if (and other topics) …” Here is my version that is devoted to those claiming Italian ancestry who participated in the annual San Marziale festivities at Holy Angels Church in Kulpmont, Pennsylvania last Sunday.
Tin Foil and Other Scarce Commodities
Alone, with a hot cup of nature’s stimulant, perusing the news releases of the day. Paper gold trading sideways (as always). Silver stuck in mid-twenties. Crypto trolls extolling the get-rich-quick virtues of their particular version of blockchain tokens. Joey Robinette mumbling something about vaccines and you know, the other latest thing he can’t remember…..
It’s 2025 and We Still Have 1-7/8” and 2” Hitch Balls? Who Hurt Us?
America: land of freedom, innovation, and baffling trailer ball sizes. We split the atom, landed on the moon, and built an internet where people argue about pineapple on pizza—but somehow, we still can’t agree on a standard trailer hitch ball.
Dear [Bad Word] Sean
Sean receives lots of reader commentary. Often he responds to them in his uniquely pithy, yet humorous way.
The Art of Porch Sitting
I come from a long line of porch sitters. This is why I am always on my porch. In my neighborhood, I am affectionately known as “that weirdo freak who’s always on his porch.” This is usually said in a positive way.
So You Want to Be a Writer?
Frankly I don’t know anything about the business of writing. And I’ll let you in on a secret, neither do the publishers, editors, marketing teams, or prof reeders. This is why the publishing industry has perhaps the highest turnover rate among employees except for, perhaps, the mafia.
Deep in the Heart of Texas
Everything really is bigger in Texas. The sky. The hamburgers. And of course, the oversized tourist cowboy hats found in gas stations.
No More Old Songs
I am in the lobby of my hotel, waking up. The coffee is lukewarm. The breakfast is freezer burnt. And the overhead music playing is “Highway to Hell.” You can’t get away from canned music. It’s everywhere.
Lightsabers Are Here—Good Luck Regulating Them, Democrats!
Well, folks, it finally happened. Some mad scientist in his garage just cracked the code, and now lightsabers are real. You heard that right—Jedi-level plasma blades, humming and slicing through anything in their path, are now a reality.
A Few Questions and Answers
I receive a lot of remarks in the form of emails, private messages, obscene hand gestures, etc. There’s no way I could answer all comments individually. So occasionally, I compile commonly asked questions and answer them in this column.
Adam Named the Animals, But Then We Got Latin and Ruined Everything
Once upon a time, in the blissful simplicity of Eden, God gave Adam a straightforward task: name the animals. And Adam, being a practical man (and let’s be honest, not yet bogged down by bureaucracy), did exactly that
My Phone is Smarter Than I Is
I remember my first cellphone. I felt like one bad hombre.
I was in my mid-20s. The cellphone retail salesperson outfitted me with a state-of-the-age phone about the size of a residential General Electric refrigerator.
The Idiot, The Atlas, and The Algorithm Part 2
The Idiot, The Atlas, and The Algorithm, A Three-Part Satirical Series on the Glorious Decline of American Civilization;
Part 2: Welcome to Galtlantis—Where Smart People Hide From the Apocalypse
Bad Gramer
I get a lot of comments about grammar. And after having studied the subject for years—mainly by reading thousands of critically acclaimed cereal boxes—I’ve decided to answer questions from readers who inquire about various errors in my work.
Idiocracy: A Satirical Warning About the Future of Human Intelligence
Released in 2006, Idiocracy is a dystopian comedy film directed by Mike Judge, co-written by Judge and Etan Cohen, and produced by 20th Century Fox.
Smart Phone, Dumb Author
I bought a flip phone. One without a camera or a touchscreen. Without AI, facial recognition, video chatting, GPS, or the ability to flush my toilet from the other room. It’s a “stupid” phone. A device with the same level of intelligence as a member of Congress.
Country Folk
The January snow/ice storm kept us snowbound for seven days. My farm tractor couldn’t move the 4” of snow on top of the 2” of ice that was over the 6” of the first snow on our ¾ mile driveway.