A Dumb Question
I have an important question. How would you spend your best day ever? This might sound like a dumb question. But if you have time, take a brief break from doom scrolling and think about your best day ever (BDE).
Americana
Columbus Set the Oars in Motion
Why has modern America chosen to attack Columbus Day? Many schools no longer celebrate it; many states have dropped it in ignominy… or worse, they use it as a negative teaching opportunity: to trash the explorers who brought European civilization to these shores. Of course, it’s still celebrated as …
One Night Near Sacramento
And so it was, on an average weeknight, somewhere in California, a team of 15 random people volunteered to lift the helicopter. A gaggle of bystanders, both male and female, gathered beneath the belly of the great wreckage. Feet planted. Hands ready.
Church Ladies
When I was a kid, church ladies ran the whole world. Elderly women were always telling me what to do, randomly appearing from the shadows and trying to feed me.
The Trees of Fairhope
When you walk the sidewalks of Fairhope, Alabama, it’s the trees that impress you most. It’s not the upscale homes, nor the Mayberry-like storefronts, which all give you the impression that you have fallen into a Rockwellian planned urban development. No. It’s the live oaks.
Rico Suave
Rico was going to be euthanized in a few days. He was in his kennel. Unmoving. He wasn’t making a fuss the way hopeful dogs do when visitors come. It was almost like he knew. He was not long for this world. That’s when Rachel happened.
Run, Forrest, Run
As the sun peeks above the roofline of the Hoover Metropolitan Complex, 2,000 of Birmingham’s most bloodthirsty competitive runners begin to gather at the starting line, forming tight social clusters.
The High-Tech World
Wake up. Get dressed. Remove phone from nightstand charger, put phone in pocket. Your phone dings. The phone is already notifying you about your highly sophisticated security cameras, which have just picked up movement by the neighborhood cats.
What I Wish
You know what I wish? I wish I could hug everyone in the world. I think I’d start by hugging the young waitress in the restaurant where I had lunch. Earlier that day, she was cussed out by an angry customer. He screamed at her. Called her a bad name
The Volunteers
The 71-year-old man cradled a small, juvenile robin in his hand. He fed the bird soggy dog-food pellets with tweezers. The bird was injured badly. But not dead. “Sssshhh,” he said as he fed the bird.
We are wealthy!
My darling bride — of 46 years, 4 months, and 13 days — and I recently returned from our two week vacation in Greece, and we saw many amazing and beautiful places.
The Tomato Picker and the Nice Guy
Once, there were two men. They were very different guys. They looked different. Had dissimilar backgrounds. They even smelled different.
“Tell Them,” She Said
She was 94. She came through the meet-and-greet line after my one-man shipwreck. She waited her turn patiently, while I ran my mouth, signed books, and kissed babies.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Our little white van rolls into the Walmart Supercenter in Raleigh, North Carolina. My wife and I step out and stretch our muscles in the parking lot.
“Sandwiches?” my wife says.
“Yep,” I reply.
The Big Bang of Bristol
The rest of the world has gone techno. Even country music has succumbed to the wiles of the “scrolling generation.” But in Bristol, it’s still the 1920s.
Yesterday, I Set Out to Change America
It was only an experiment. I wanted to see if I could change America in only one day by being the nicest person on earth for 24 hours.
Gotcha Day
We did not choose Otis. We let our oldest dog, Thelma Lou pick him out. She was just a puppy. We felt strongly that Thelma deserved to choose her own brother since, after all, she would be the one stuck sniffing his butt for the next 12 years.
O Brother
Dan Lovette became an usher at the Baptist church on Easter Sunday, March 26th, 1961. He stood at the door shaking hands, passing out bulletins. Nobody knew Dan.
The Reason Jimmy Kimmel Is Now Unemployed.
Jimmy Kimmel was not fired because ABC was threatened with censorship. He was fired because his presence threatens to cost ABC a fortune.
The Daisy Red Ryder: America’s Favorite Way to Almost Shoot Your Eye Out
Forget iPads, TikTok, and whatever overpriced “educational STEM toy” parents are guilt-tripped into buying today. For three generations of American kids, nothing screamed freedom, danger, and backyard glory like the Daisy Red Ryder BB gun.