Americana

It’s All in the Headlines

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What about the headlines you never see? Does anything good ever happen? How come you watch the news and see all the godawful things that happened, but never see anything positive, save for a 45-second wrap-up story about a domesticated pig at a nursing home.

You Can’t Do That No More

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I got to thinking about the ever-growing list of things you can’t do anymore. And I’m not talking about the big things, such as smoking unfiltered Camels in the maternity-ward waiting room. Actually, it’s not a “maternity ward” anymore. It’s the “labor and delivery unit.” “Maternity ward” is a sexist term implying that only women have babies.

Last of the Deer Camps: Saving America’s Hunting Heritage Before It’s Gone, Part I

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When Congress passed the Pittman–Robertson Act of 1947, it did something rare: it trusted ordinary citizens more than bureaucrats. Hunters agreed to tax themselves—an excise on firearms, ammunition, and archery gear—to restore the nation’s wildlife. Every box of shells, every rifle sale, sent dollars straight to state conservation agencies. No congressional earmarks, no political games.

Oh, How Times Have Changed

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When my grandfather was born, they still used horses and buggies. One third of Americans were farmers. Irving Berlin was a household name. Newspapers were the only form of mass communication available except for maybe shouting. Entertainment was different, too. People entertained each other. Books were luxury items.

Taylor Swift Knocks on Wood and Misses the Point

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Taylor Swift’s new single “Wood” is what happens when superstition, sexuality, and self-help memes all get tossed into a blender, set to a drum machine, and poured over a pile of sparkles. It’s catchy, sure. But somewhere between the “knock on wood” line and the anatomical metaphors, it’s clear she’s playing with ideas she doesn’t fully grasp—like a toddler with a theology textbook.

Don’t Ever Grow Up

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Dear Kid,

Don’t grow up. Don’t turn into an adult. That’s my advice. Resist adulthood. Be a kid forever.

Right now, a lot of adults are angry in America. To be fair, we have a lot to be angry about. But adults can behave badly when they are angry. So please forgive us.